Creating and revising their biographies out of whole cloth is a special gift mastered by the high level narcissist.
The high level conjures up stories about himself and his origins. They paint an illuminated heroic picture of their beginnings including their ancestors. According to their stories they come through biological lines of extraordinary individuals: great thinkers, scientists, leaders, –everything about their family tree is special and unprecedented. As he or she tells the elaborate tales they are very believable. There are stories of heroic deeds, fortunes made, great leaders and entrepreneurs, everything about this background is unparalleled. The high level has told this story so many times in different ways that it is automatic now with no need for memorization. Of course this is not the real history but this doesn’t matter to the narcissist. It is the glowing, grandiose narrative that enthralls others that matters not the simple truth. The narcissist believes his own fictional tale.
Along the way the high level creates and conjures special roles for his partner and spouse, making sure that this person fits perfectly with the impeccable image that he is constantly projecting.
These fictions become true biographical narratives are activated by the high level narcissist’s false self identity. Rather than growing up identifying as a true authentic self, the high level narcissist, especially if he is a golden child, from the beginning is treated with the greatest deference, like a little prince or princess, superior to his siblings. He is the golden one without flaw or imperfection. As a result of being placed in this role there are no limits put on him or her. The golden one doesn’t have a sense of limits or psychological boundaries and lacks empathy to other family members and others with whom he associates. Yes, he is often very charming and convincing and gifted socially but this is a purposeful performance all part of his influence and power over others. No true conscience develops in these individuals. They are smart enough not to get caught but they lack empathy and are completely self focused calloused and obsessed with their reaching the heights of power and control. If the must manipulate others to achieve this, that works for them. They place themselves, their self importance and sense of perfection at the top and look down on those who have not achieved their mastery of deception, manipulation and exploitation. They are always reaching for the next summit and as they rise and move up, deserting others whom they have used to maneuver to the top. These are ace competitors who will do anything to win!!!
Those who are partnered with or married to these ultimate exploiters has caused you incalculable psychological, emotional and financial harm over many years. Your mind is very discerning and you have done extensive research on the narcissistic personality and know that it is not possible to have genuine relationship with a narcissistic personality.
The wise intuitive voice inside of you makes it clear that the narcissistic personality is not inclined to change despite all of your efforts and your loyalty.
After a complex and long process you are awakened and know that you are entitled to expressing yourself freely, to experience solitude and inner peace, deserving respect and empathy and the use of your many creative gifts.
You are moving forward along the pathways of psychological transformation and the fulfillment of your unique individuality.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.