The Unwelcome Daughter of A Narcissistic Mother

High Level Narcissists Plot Their Way to the Top

High level narcissists are obsessively driven to reach the top of their mountains of ambition and publicly praised achievement, whether the goal is tremendous wealth, power, prestige, veneration.

For the high level this is a much easier goal since these individuals are very light in the conscience department. The narcissistic personality does not form a highly development conscience during his/her formative years. On the outside this person can appear to have a sense of decorum and obedience to the rules but when you look beneath the surface of the perfect façade you find an absence of adhering to what is right or wrong particularly in their dealings with individuals close to them: spouses, partners, ex-spouses, children, business associates.

It takes discernment and empathy to function with a highly developed conscience. The person of good character naturally thinks about how his behaviors thoughts and actions affect others and their well being.

The high level narcissist doesn’t give these considerations a thought.  Of course the high level cleverly goes through the motions and pretenses of having integrity but this is the thinnest of characterlogical veneers. In some quarters in their “religious lives the high level is able to fool members of his spiritual community into thinking that he/she is a fine person of integrity and morality.

I have observed that high levels obtain huge ego supplies by planning their route to the upper reaches of success.  They have a detailed agenda clearly in mind like a master blueprint that they will follow precisely.

Ultimately the high level narcissist is a predatory exploiter. With their charm and cunning they magnetize individuals to them who will take their irresistible bait – promises of love, a phenomenal lifestyle, social status, the capacity to have exotic experiences, invitations to the most exclusive golden circles.

High level narcissists have no difficulty at all abandoning their spouses, children, friends when according to their plan of success they must shift, in some instances leave their spouses and children to make their next ascendant move.

For the high level, this is an Everest move, a thrilling process that reinforces their sense of limitless power and perfection.  The high level is never bothered by those whom he abandons, even his own children. In some instances they buy off some of the kids whom they think are “promising” to make themselves look real good as a fake parent.

For the high level people are interchangeable and therefore, expendable. They do not understand or care in the least about the precious reality of the individual.

When he shifts to the next level this narcissist knows that he will easily find other partners who will satisfy his needs and wishes. These masters of deceit are thrilled with their progressions upward into the clouds that form the crown at the summit.

Along the way they have psychologically and emotionally harmed scores of individuals, abandoned and upended too many lives, including their children.  We don’t get a “do over” with kids—but with the high level this doesn’t matter.

With all of their feckless and dirty deeds high level narcissists sleep soundly at night while their victims stare at the ceiling, in the throes of another insomniac night, weep listlessly in the dark, or even blame themselves for all of the incalculable harm the high level has wrought. Those who ardently pray for an old testament god to reign down on these culprits hear silence.

You are the one who has borne and survived the cunning plots and plans of the high level narcissists

Now you know this person in full.  Understand that you are and never were to blame for his/her deceits, abandonments, vile projections, insidious acting out behaviors.

Give yourself tremendous credit for your psychological stamina, clear discernment, personal integrity, your unique creative gifts, compassion and empathy.

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.