Recall when you were face to face with an individual who exuded a palpable charm, a kind of erotic force that was impossible to deny, an enchantment. You felt the pull, a kind of psychophysiological gravity that fixated you on this individual. Right off, you were carried away, ungrounded, happily adrift, unmoored.
I have created a composite of this elite golden boy from individuals who have been described to me from their victims, some I have met, others whom I recognize from biography and psychobiography. .
The golden one of many gifts –often handsome, articulate, at times brilliant, smooths his way through life having been born as a kind of nobility. From birth the golden boy knows that he is extra special, a prince. He is admired, even adored. In many cases the mother of this wunderkind is psychologically fused with her son. The narcissistic mother chooses the son as an ultimate narcissistic supply to fill her psychological emptiness. With a father who is psychologically dependent and timid acquiescence to the narcissistic spouse. This dynamic reminds me of the complex and highly charged relationship between world renowned architect Frank Lloyd Wright and his mother Anna Lloyd Jones. Before he was born Anna knew that her son would become a great builder, an architect.
Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: “From earliest childhood, she filled him with Celtic tales of a mythological hero named Taliesen who had supernatural powers. Wright chose to call two of his homes, Taliesen. This betrays the force of his mother’s early indoctrination since Taliesin is not only an actual historical personage but also a poet-savior, magician, spinner of riddles and supernatural being.” Wright was a classic overt narcissistic personality of great talent and vision, who disrupted, controlled, dissembled the personal and professional worlds of others with ruthless abandon.
Enter the Empath, that unique individual of great discernment, intuition and sensitivity. Empaths are often attracted to high level narcissists. Often introverted they are drawn to this individual of towering self confidence, indomitable energy, fearlessness combined with magnetic charm.
The high level narcissist is a clever taker; the empath a consummate giver. The empath makes the high level look like a very fine person. Besides the empath anticipates the high level’s needs and wishes and extends themselves without question.
Empaths often question themselves and find that they are wanting. If drawn into the narcissist’s enchanted circle the empath is loyal and tends to put up with the projections, criticisms, and humiliations that re being dished out. Empaths often blame themselves for what others have done to them. Loyal to a fault they continue to forgive the golden boy narcissist his multiple wrongdoings.
There is a point of awakening when the Empath has had more than enough of the high level’s brand of abuse and with research and inner wisdom, decides to move forward along the pathways of the original self and put the emphasis on self-care and creative and personal transformation.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.