Narcissist’s Boundless Hubris in Marriage and Divorce

Hubris–extreme arrogance, haughtiness, high-handedness–describes much of the narcissistic spouse’s deeply ingrained personality style. With no sense of limits, psychological boundaries, one scintilla of empathy or a developed conscience, the narcissist drives in the fast lane of life, weaving in and out, putting everyone else in various forms of psychological, emotional and financial jeopardy. This is especially the case with spouses of narcissists who are married to them or going through the travails of a divorce. (This post refers to female and male narcissists).

I have found that some of the loveliest human beings are married to or divorcing narcissists or narcissistic ex’s. Often the spouse of the narcissist is highly empathic.  I have heard innumerable life stories of the cruelest pain perpetrated on the spouse.  Without a conscience the narcissist is free to do whatever he wishes, to get every prize by cheating, lying, demeaning, intimidating—threatening to vanquish those in his way. Unfortunately, acting boorish and obnoxious often works. The narcissist’s over the top confidence is perceived as strength and mastery in this age of extreme pathological narcissism.

The narcissist is determined to “get to you”–to weaken and annihilate you psychologically in some egregious cases. He is determined to make you lose your temper and explode or to make you cry uncontrollably or to act out in an irrational way.  He is setting traps for your emotional and psychological vulnerabilities all of the time, especially during a divorce. The narcissist is determined and knows that he is entitled to the “spoils” of the marriage—property, investments, bank accounts (even if they are joint ones) and in many cases, he is counting on having the children as his ready narcissistic supplies. Narcissists are very bored with raising children and they only care about the progeny that are very attractive, bright, athletic, filled with charm and high level confident social skills.

A wife or child is a commodity to the narcissist, a way to get re-circulating narcissistic supply. When the wife is no longer fulfilling this voracious need, she is dismissed cruelly and replaced by a younger model. If the replacement has excellent social connections, an incredibly successful career and family money, all the better. The same is true of a female narcissist who is replacing a now hapless, boring husband.

There are no limits or humaneness as the narcissist ruthlessly and brazenly moves through the divorce process. All agreements are off, then on, then postponed.  The narcissist feels superior even to the attorneys and judges he encounters. He is the all knowing brilliant wise person. No one is superior to his perfection. This grandiosity works in this age of inflated egos.

Never be surprised at the outrageousness of the narcissist. Doing in-depth research gives you a detailed picture of these individuals. The research and clinical longitudinal studies and the many years of study indicate that the narcissistic personality is not inclined to change.

Once you are in the process of extricating yourself from the narcissist, take heart in who you are as an individual and give yourself tremendous credit for taking this courageous step. Put your self care first. Some spouses find that high quality psychotherapy helps them move through this process. Maintaining a strong and resilient support system is key to keeping the faith that you will be free and intact to  lead the life that you deserve. Various practices–gentle hatha yoga, guided meditation, acupuncture that calms the nervous system, your form of exercise, the healing power of Nature, etc. are all keys to your success throughout this major shift in your life.

 

Divorcing A Narcissistic Physician–A Waking Nightmare

I have had communications with many women and men who are divorcing narcissistic physicians. (This post refers to male and female narcissistic doctors).

There are innumerable physicians who save lives and improve the health of their patients. They are dedicated, highly informed and gifted at their professions.

In this post I am speaking about divorcing narcissistic physicians. Imagine that you are married to a narcissistic doctor and going through a very nasty prolonged divorce. Some of you have been there and can attest to the relentless, painful unforgiving aspects of going through this series of battles.

Narcissistic doctors, especially those who are highly successful make very large incomes. The amounts are even larger today with the cost of healthcare rising astronomically. One of the scenarios that I hear repeatedly is that with the narcissistic physician you often have a pronounced Jekyll/Hyde series of personality traits. The doctor is above reproach publically. In private he/she is full of volcanic rage, has low impulse control, continually projects his venom on to spouses and children, is obsessively controlling– checking to see who, what, where the spouse is at all times.

Narcissistic doctors play around a lot. Some have more than one affair going at a time. Since they have no conscience this kind of deception or any other doesn’t bother them. After all, as long as their precious egos are getting boosted and no one finds out, what is there to worry about.

Narcissists are full of deceit and duplicity. They continually manipulate and intimidate their spouses and children. They are hypocrites and know how to act like “good people.” This is part of a contrived persona that enhances their image even further.

Divorcing a narcissistic physician takes a lot of detailed planning, regular self care and a divorce team that is competent, knowledgeable, savvy, available, understands the personality traits of the narcissistic personality and is highly experienced at strategies that work with these toxic individuals.

I know of men and women who went through this process on their own without much outside help of any kind–including having to deal with a series of incompetent attorneys. This is truly remarkable. I have tremendous respect for these individuals. They never gave up. They kept going each day–one at a time. They made strategic decisions, protected their children, maintained control over themselves despite even being balled out by other attorneys, counselors, mediators, etc. They were determined to win and were up for the marathon battle.

Start by giving yourself fully earned credit for who you really are–Honor your true self. Don’t blame yourself for having married a narcissistic physician. You could never have known who this person was. Stop making self judgments. Those I know who have come through this process learned to let go of this kind of mind set. They kept themselves in a positive, ready for combat and self contained frame of mind as often as possible. Don’t be judgmental about your meltdowns–You are human after all.

The narcissist is always waiting for you to cave in and will do anything to throw you over. You can surprise even the narcissistic physician. Forget all of his medical training, the schools he/she attended and his walls of degrees. Remember that beneath the grandiose extremely self entitled false self, there is a highly damaged, psychologically empty, true self that is very regressed. You are the adult in this situation. You have the fine character, courage, psychological and emotional intelligence and the deep intuition to move forward in this process and your life.

If you have access to support, use it. Lean on those whom you trust. There may just be a few. I find that this is all we need, especially in this time of your need. Most of all, be kind to yourself.

When Narcissists Tell You Who They Are–Believe Them

It is difficult for most people to identify and recognize the true nature of the narcissistic personality. Therapists are often fooled by them. There are therapists who are narcissists who go for the gold of desperate clients—I have known some of these and I’ll bet you have.

Don’t blame yourself for being charmed into surrender by a narcissist. It is often very difficult to say “No” to them.  One of the best offenses is to research the narcissistic personality in-depth.

This is the age of narcissism, a time when these individuals have risen to the top of the heap in our worlds of business, commerce, the healing arts, government, Wall Street, banking, etc. The cult of the external image is fully formed in our society today. People are judged and assessed by how they look, their wealth, success in their professions, their youthfulness. The adoration of the externals prevails in this society today. There are unique individuals who are taking an opposite route to the evolution of the self, compassion for others and leading a simple life–but these are the exceptions. Shopping itself has become a kind of religion. Incessant travel is an escape that is considered wonderful–even an accomplishment. There is nothing the matter with travel but when individuals are in a swirl of obsessive shopping and travel and continually externalizing themselves, they are not growing inside.

Narcissists announce themselves in various ways. The classic ones are grandiose, charming, highly confident, extremely self entitled. They come bearing gifts of promises that they are entranced with you. They make promises that we want to believe. They make us feel better about ourselves, more exciting than we have felt alone. They bring ever vibrant Technicolor into our lives. The classic narcissist is in command and we are easily seduced into his/her world. (This post refers to male and female narcissists.)  They promise to lift us out of our misery—They become our saviors in a sense. That is how convincing they are. They speak of their love for us; we believe them–That’s how fine their acting comes across. I call them fine method actors.

You join with the narcissist in a close relationship. You make plans with the narcissist and believe that you are now different because of this developing relationship. You put faith in this. It becomes a central theme within you.

You trust this person and make the assumption that he will always tell you the truth and act accordingly. Along the way you discover that this person has been lying and deceiving you. You are shocked. You confront the narcissist and he tells you that you are mistaken–that you have misunderstood–even that you are confused and crazy. So many victims of narcissists believe that there is something the matter with them.  You are a person of integrity and think that others have these same characteristics. The narcissistic personality does not. He does not have a developed conscience. The “conscience” of the narcissist is determined by whether he will get caught or not. Narcissists are continually lying; it is automatic for them. They have been deceitful all of their lives. This is a hard concept for those with a true solid conscience. It is very important that you understand that not everyone has a developed conscience. Always keep this in mind in identifying the narcissistic personality.

Narcissists are loyal to no one. They can have many  relationships at one time. These are not authentic ones since the narcissist is incapable of true emotional intimacy.

Narcissists are constantly seeking narcissistic supplies which makes them feel fuller. Inside, deep in the unconscious, the narcissist’s world is bleak and empty. As a result the narcissist is always in search of praise, adulation, even veneration. Those who are high level narcissists in the world have re-circulating sources of narcissistic supply–people that come to worship at their thrones.

Narcissists cannot be loyal to anyone. They move from one victim to the next. One person is interchangeable with another. When you no longer supply their need for image enhancement, your role as their servant, etc. they replace you quickly. They can’t be bothered with you anymore. You have serviced their purpose. They send you out of the paradise of their presence. As devastating as this can be, it is opportunity to escape from the imprisonment of life shared with a narcissistic personality.  I have known many individuals who have made this travel to freedom and rediscovered their true selves. .

Your intuition will tell you who the narcissist is–you are getting signals about this person’s true nature. Pay attention to them. They are telling you the truth.

Remember to value and put yourself and self care first in your life. This is not selfish. It is essential.

Have quiet times for the beauty of Nature, exercise in the ways that work best for you, explore your creative gifts in all of their forms. Practice gentle hatha yoga, do short guided meditation that appeals to you. Spend time with friends whom you trust who care deeply about you.

Knowing and appreciating who you are will always protect you from becoming mystified by narcissistic personalities. They will announce their presence to you and you will know exactly who they are. They have told you this in every way. Congratulations!

 

Sociopathic Narcissists Have the Killer Instinct

The grandiose narcissist needs to have his/her ego constantly stroked. He knows how to reel people in. He plays to their dependency needs, material desires, their aspirations for wealth and power. (This blog post refers to male and female narcissists.) He can take one look at a woman and know how to get her under his control. Many women fall for this master of charm with all the gilded promises. With a narcissist you are lead to believe that your life will be unlimited, that you can have every high and pleasurable experience you’ve ever wanted, that you will never have to worry about money, security, social status. You will always be royal.

The sociopathic narcissist is several steps beyond his classic brother narcissist. He doesn’t have a whiff of conscience. He is involved in illegal activities as part of his lifestyle. He secretly leads a number of lives. You get in his way and your life is toast. That is the force of his dangerous darkness. Those who go along with him are not leading their own lives. They stay there because of all the perks which are a constant distraction like a merry go round that is moving faster and faster. The giddiness of having anything you want is intoxicating.

Sociopathic narcissists are disastrous parents. They are incapable of forming an authentic relationship with their children. Some narcissistic sociopaths choose one child to mirror them. He becomes the golden boy or girl and can do no wrong. In some cases these children become narcissistic personalities.

Sociopathic narcissists are psychological killers in business. They terrorize their rivals. They have close allies and partners that make the lives of their competitors a living hell. They step over ethical and legal boundaries all of the time and don’t get caught because they have a coterie of killer instinct sociopathic lawyers. Narcissistic sociopaths love to sue others and do so frequently.

When you decide to divorce a sociopathic narcissist, make your preparations secretly and take your time to do a lot of research. Interview several attorneys who understand the way these people tick. The soon to be ex is out for blood and will stop at nothing to win. Find an attorney who is not intimidated in the slightest with these personalities, someone who remains calm when the long knives come out. Use all of your resources to get the support you need. Excellent psychotherapy can be very helpful during this time. Find friends that are available to support you and stick with this ordeal. You will prevail. Keep telling yourself that this is a marathon and you are up to the race and will cross the finish line in victory.

 

The Narcissist’s Way of Life–Successive Painful Betrayals

A betrayal is one of the most painful experiences an individual can experience. ” A betrayal is a broken agreement, implicit or explicit, that is considered vital to the integrity of a relationship. It is a deep violation of trust. (This post refers to male and female narcissists.)

The individual who is betrayed is treated with disrespect and dismissal. Betrayal, a deception, finds it origins in nets of dark lies and primitive psychopathology.

There is a sharp sting we experience when we discover that someone we have trusted completely, a person at the core of our lives, has quickly shifted away and turned to other sources of psychological, financial and creative supply. Narcissists know exactly how to choose their victims. They pick those who suit their image, are vulnerable, often trustworthy and creatively talented. What could be better for them then to have a person at their disposal tailor made for maximum narcissistic supply and ego inflation.

Narcissists use and abuse your creative talents in the cruelest of ways. They take your best work, pretend like they are collaborating with you, then abandon you without a scintilla of conscience. Narcissists never look back on their betrayals. They move forward, tripping along in the fast lane of their lives–stealing all of the gold for themselves. One person for them is interchangeable with another.

This occurs in marriages to narcissists. The person with whom you have shared your life has hidden his true identity. Narcissists often lead several lives within one. As a result they are duplicitous in their relationships.  Since narcissists have no psychological boundaries or a fully developed conscience, they enter into relationships that their partners believe are close and filled with trust and integrity. These two words trust and integrity are not a part of the narcissist’s values or represent the ways they lead their lives.

You can spend decades with a narcissist, give your love, loyalty and devotion to them and they will betray you. It is just a matter of time and opportunity for them. Narcissists are very restless human beings who are psychologically empty inside. These feelings are harbored in the unconscious but acted out in their relationships. No one can have a genuine relationship with a narcissist. They are not worthy of your trust. You should not give your heart to one of these individuals. They don’t possess the psychological capacity for emotional intimacy and loyalty. The narcissist has the upper hand. His/her masks are irresistible. He is taken with you, fascinated, charmed—as if you are the only person on the face of the earth. Once you are tied to him, attached firmly and have opened your heart, the narcissist knows that there isn’t anything that you won’t do for him.  He has cut a deal with you—not a relationship. It is not until the betrayal is exposed that you will know the truth that has been purposely and cruelly hidden from you.

Some victims of narcissistic betrayal keep going back to their perpetrators. This is very unfortunate and the cause of great emotional pain. The sooner that you understand the true nature of the narcissist the better for you to end this empty predatory relationship.

You deserve to heal as you work through the psychological and emotional pain of this series of betrayals. Be kind to yourself and patient. Practice self care every day. You will recover and be freed to use your creativity, to discover there are individuals worthy of your trust and that you can smile and laugh once more.

Narcissists Know that You Will Surrender to Their Endless Manipulations

Narcissists have no shame. They are incapable of this human emotion since they do not have a fully developed conscience. They are especially shameless in their incessant manipulations and outrageous antics and high stakes dramas. (This post refers to female and male narcissists).

They belong on the stage—that’s how good they are at playing their parts. The grandiose narcissist waltzes through his territories of control bursting with extreme self entitlement and a clear sense that he can control everyone in his environment, including his spouses, children, siblings and those with whom he interfaces in his/her professional life.

High level narcissists who achieve great success in the world look down on those who are not on “their level” as inferior. They can’t be bothered with such lowly people. This current society of rampant pathological narcissism provides endless ego supplies to these individuals—as long as they are making huge sums of money, producing outrageous profits for sharesholders or business partners and incessantly moving towards power plays.

They are increasingly rewarded for their “efforts and successes.” Narcissists are exceedingly nervy–They don’t give a damn about anyone unless it will bring them the power that they feel that they deserve and will have. It doesn’t matter that they are highly destructive to the human beings that interface with them, especially their spouses and children. In many societal sectors, human beings are treated like commodities. In a narcissistic family constellation, the classic narcissist has the dominant voice in the household. Often he or she marries an individual whom he can count on to acquiesce to his demands.

The narcissistic personality is a master manipulator. He has been practicing and honing his game since early childhood. Although the narcissist has little or no insight he is cunning. He senses when you are fearful and hesitant. He works on your vulnerabilities and knows how and when you will “cave” to his intimidations. As long as he wins, it doesn’t matter what kind of pain has been inflicted on you. He/she knows that you will keep coming back for more—always hoping that he has had a revelation and changed. This is never the case. He is counting on you to keep returning to his empty promises and outright lies for more psychological abuse.

At some point you will recognize the true nature of the narcissist and non-stop manipulation machine. You will know that it is time to get off of this painful ride and move toward a new cycle of your life. You have done the research and now know exactly who this person is and the purpose behind his causing you deep pain and stress. There are many who have won back their lives from the narcissistic personality and are now free. Give yourself tremendous credit for working through this process. You are courageous and live the truth.

Grandiose Narcissists Can’t Stop Talking About Their Perfect Worlds

The classic grandiose narcissist performs at center stage in the spotlight. (This post refers to male and female narcissists.) He/she demands your total unblinking attention. I recall a number of these individuals whom I have known personally and professionally. They grab the psychological space in a room. They regal us with stories of their perfect lives.

How often have you been psychologically accosted by a narcissistic personality? They won’t leave you alone. They are filled with stories of their latest triumphs. They talk about their superior family members who are the highest academic and professional achievers. Everyone that provides them with narcissistic supply is extraordinary not because they are fine human beings but because they have gone to the right schools, have obtained superlative grades, have high graduate degrees and multiple offers in professional career positions that will pay them extraordinary salaries. I am not disparaging those who achieve in these ways. I applaud those who succeed in these arenas. They are most often fine people.

The point is that the narcissist must tell these stories in order to make him look better than anyone else. He or she is not only bragging about his own accomplishments but extends them to family members who then become a part of his narcissistic domain of adulation and praise. When I have tried to actually have a conversation with these narcissists it is as if they cannot hear you. They don’t acknowledge anything that you are saying. You might as well not be there. You could nave placed a cardboard cutout of yourself in place and left. There is no genuine interaction with narcissists. They give speeches, make grandiose comments, and won’t stop the mindless chatter.

You want to get away from them. You make the decision to excuse yourself and some of them follow you with their “I have a perfect life” rant. Learn to leave the scene early. It is not worth your time and attempts at listening or trying to be heard to remain in these circumstances. The narcissist is always there for his close-up. For him, you are part of the inanimate stage set.

It is still remarkable to watch narcissists and recognize each time how completely wrapped up in themselves they are. They carry with them load upon load of narcissistic supplies–the praise of others, the accomplishments of family members, the constant name-dropping, comments about their extraordinary professional and personal achievements, etc.

I think about those who are married to one of these individuals and cringe at what they have to hear every single day. It is exhausting. Besides the braggadocio the narcissist is highly critical and demeaning to those closest to him. He picks away at the slightest mistake and manufactures reasons for disdaining you out of whole cloth. These are bald lies that the narcissist twists into his “truth” about you and your innumerable shortcomings and poor character traits. Remember that these cruel pronouncements are psychological projections and have nothing to do with your character or capabilities at all.

Study the narcissistic personality in-depth so that you are highly informed. Practice self care. Get the sleep, exercise, nourishment and respite that you need and deserve. Use your creativity gifts and discover others that have been hidden as a result of being involved with the narcissist.

If you are married to a narcissist you may decide that you can no longer live with this person who is always giving speeches to self and throwing you crumbs and volleys of criticisms. Make a plan that works for you. Talk to a few friends whom you trust and are available to listen with empathy. In some cases meeting with an excellent therapist can be helpful. Pay close attention to your intuition. It is always accurate and reveals the truth.

Narcissists Destroy Their Families

When you meet a narcissist—especially a very smooth attractive one–you would never guess that he/she is decimating his family—spouses, children, siblings, in-laws, grandparents, etc. Narcissists go viral. Their venom spreads out to every family member. There are some individuals who even as small children know that there is something very wrong with their mother or father, that this person is toxic to them. They keep their emotional distance from this person whom they are asked to call mother or father. Some family members survive by becoming invisible. As soon as they are able they spend long periods of time away from their home. Some find hiding places in their rooms or outside. They learn how to avoid their own parent.

Other family members–spouses and children–go along with the pathological thinking and behaviors of the narcissistic parent. They will tell you how much they love the narcissistic parent who is crushing them. They have never made a psychological separation from this poisonous person.

Some adult children of narcissists are still holding on to a non-parent who has hijacked their lives. Some children in the family are chosen to be the special ones who represent the narcissist’s power,brilliance, talent, physical attractiveness and magnetism. Many consider them the lucky ones. They are treated like little gods but they are not real people. They are pariahs who are allowed to emotionally harm their siblings. They are raised to the heights by the parents and believe they are perfect and superior. They treat their siblings like dirt, lie about them, get them into serious trouble with the narcissistic parent, etc.

These dark narcissistic family patterns do not stop. Fortunately, there are individuals within these families who grow up to be genuine, solid, kind and productive human beings. Your best offensive is to learn everything you can about the narcissistic personality and learn to take very good care of yourself.

Narcissistic Spouses Thrive on Their Hidden Agendas

Narcissists don’t tell the truth. It has been unfamiliar to them since childhood. From the beginning they learned to make up stories about their self importance, social mastery, intellectual brilliance, unique talents. These vignettes of greatness effortlessly roll off of their tongues. They have been practicing the art of self deception all of their lives.

Narcissists are highly secretive in their words and deeds. Everything they do or say is designed to protect their sense of perfection, self importance, superiority and greatness. This is especially the case with the classic larger than life narcissist. (This post refers to male and female narcissists).
When you enter a relationship with a narcissist it is unlikely you will be aware of how these individuals operate. Don’t blame yourself. The classic narcissist is highly skilled at attracting people to him whom he can control, manipulate and exploit. Many narcissists are very charming and attractive. They have an exciting vibe that magnetizes us to them. They know what to say that evokes a positive response within us. When the narcissist is on his seduction game it is very difficult to back off. We take in the compliments, the laser beam attention that encompasses us, the feeling of confidence that they communicate. The air is electric with their presence. It is a very believable fantasy. We are swept up by the charm offense of this intriguing individual. We are captivated and can’t let go. This is the beginning of the story for many individuals and their encounters with highly skilled narcissistic personalities.

Beneath the surface of this high level stage performance is the hidden agenda. The narcissist is seeking something from you that he must have as a narcissistic supply that will enhance his perfect image and worldly stature: your physical attractiveness, social/business status, financial positioning, your influential family connections, your education and professional pedigree. The narcissist knows how to “go for the gold” that he finds in you. He may even need to find someone of good character to play against his less than sterling moral profile.

Some readers and clients tell me that they knew before they married their spouse that he was narcissistic–self absorbed, selfish, lacking empathy, given to rising rages, image driven and lacking in emotional intimacy. Despite this intuitive sight they married the narcissist anyway.
As the years of the marriage progress, the character traits of the narcissist come sharply into view. The spouse is constantly subjected to the Hidden Agenda. Promises made are always broken. The reasons for these breaches are lies that work for the narcissist’s whims and desires. During the end of these marriages the narcissistic spouse insists that a fair mediation agreement that will be fair and amicable. Not true! The narcissist hires lawyers from hell (often narcissistic personalities) who whipsaw the opposing side into a court room ordeal designed to exhaust and drain the victim of abuse. In the meantime the narcissistic spouse secretly moves his financial resources to safety for his private use.
Making and acting on the decision to leave a narcissistic spouse permanently is a huge step. It is a difficult road to travel but a necessary one if you are going to move forward with your life and the recovery that you deserve. As you heal you know deep inside that there are never going to be any more hidden agendas or psychological ambushes.
Learn to put yourself first. You deserve this. The process of healing requires your patience and self understanding. Be kind to yourself and give yourself tremendous credit for moving ever more confidently along your life journey.

Narcissist’s Money Lust

We all have some lust in our hearts–for gorgeous clothes, sex, delicious food, exquisite jewelry. Many narcissists are obsessed with money lust. They are thinking about how much money they have, how to get more of it, how to keep it away from others, whom to manipulate to get more, including family members to take theirs. Money is their substitution for love, warmth, affection—for being authentic and human. Having as much money as possible, even stealing it away from family members, is the narcissist’s constant goal. Thoughts about obtain more money never leave this person’s mind. Having lots of money makes them feel more entitled, superior to others, like a winner. Moneyed narcissists are always looking down on others who have not “made it.” It isn’t knowledge, wisdom, inner peace or insight they are seeking. It is knowing that they have achieved their greatest goal—being able to have whatever they desire and to attract other people whom they can easily exploit to satisfy their money lust. One of the common scenarios is for one of the siblings, male or female, to ingratiate the mother or father who is holding the wealth, to become the confidante, the favored trusted one. This is done over many years and is well plotted. Slowly and surely this sibling becomes the executor of the parent’s will, convinces the mother or father to bestow upon him/her the largest amount of the inheritance (leaving the other siblings with a minuscule portion of the total). The narcissistic money luster puts tremendous pressure on his parent if that is necessary to seal the deal for himself. He has no conscience and is just waiting for the parent to die (the sooner the better) so that he can carry away the entire estate and leave the scene to lead a life of pleasure and comfort. These greedy narcissistic siblings often abandon their own children and of course their spouses to move on to a life of elite uxury. They never look back and view the psychological and monetary destruction they have left behind. . They have gotten what they have wanted all of their lives. Despite this great victory the narcissist continues to experience the money lust deep inside his bones and is ready to pursue other unethical and often illegal financial misadventures. One of them is marrying a wealthy partner, causing them horrible stress and making this person to become psychologically dependent on them and at their mercy. The obsession to seek, obtain and control the fortunes of others never abates. It would be like trying to change the rhythm of the tides or the curvature of the earth. The narcissist never stops victimizing others, disrupting their lives, leaving them without monetary means, causing them unbearable distress and worry. Learning about the narcissistic personality provides you with the insight to recognize these money vultures quickly. You will sense their vileness, like a noxious odor in the air. You will know what they are after—your financial resources, your social connections to people of means. Study narcissistic money vultures in-depth. Identify them quickly. Show them the door immediately. If you are involved with one of them, learn to dis-entangle yourself. Pursue your creative gifts, learn to develop inner peace through calming the body and mind. Sharpen your insight and pay close attention to your intuitions. They are coming through all of the time. We need to practice receptivity to these invaluable messengers of the truth. Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com