Divorcing Your Narcissist - The Narcissist In Your Life

Narcissistic Spouse’s Cycle of Abuse

For the narcissist everyone is ultimately disposable and expendable. Since the narcissist is incapable of emotional and psychological intimacy, he/she forms “relationships” based on the ultimate need for narcissistic supplies–adulation, praise, power over others, acquisition, veneration, validation of greatness. (This post refers to male and female narcissists).

Each narcissist has his own unique style. Some are boorish, others low key appearing to be humble. The grandiose classic narcissist is highly extroverted, seizes the spotlight at every turn, exceedingly confident, continually singing his own praises at maximum volume.

All narcissists are abusive. They are self absorbed, not tuned into the needs of others, lack empathy and project their volcanic rage– especially on to their family members: spouses, ex-spouses, children, siblings, etc.

There is a cycle of abuse that many narcissistic spouses engage in: Charm, Seduction, Manipulation/Exploitation, Disposal.

“Charm is an energy, a vibration, a contagious optimistic state of mind. Charm beguiles; it can seduce us to do almost anything…It is a magic elixir that sets us soaring.” (From: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life) It is very difficult to say “No” to the magnetism of the narcissist. They are captivating. You feel spellbound, enchanted, taken up with them. In this first phase you are inclined to believe the narcissist and to feel that you are an integral part of his life, that this person cares deeply about you, loves you.

Narcissists are masters of seduction. They know exactly how to get under the skin, the nerves, the heart of a individual whom they have chosen. They cleverly play on our deepest needs to be wanted, worthy, important, special. We become entranced with them.

Narcissists are highly manipulative and exploitive. They are exceedingly cunning and know how to play complex cruel, calculated games with your deepest feelings. They use both charm and intimidation to get you to do and be what they want. You must be perfect like they are. They make sure you never measure up to their “standards.” When you don’t make the grade you are severely criticized. This emerges into a pattern of continually putting you down. This is done to weaken and control you and force you to doubt your perceptions. Another ploy is the emotional/psychological push/pull game. After a major blowup the narcissist claims he is sorry and says he needs you desperately. He wants you back into his life, not because he loves you but due to his need for narcissist supplies to be adored, obeyed and praised constantly. When this sequence is over, he finds a reason to get angry and throw you out of his life. Many victims of narcissistic abuse repeat this pattern over and over again, thinking that the problems arising from the relationship are their fault.

“Dismissal (disposal) arrives as surely as thunder follows lightening…By this time you are not even an imprint on his mind. He has moved on to his next glorious quest…Like a speck of swirling dust, the memory of you as a unique individual and the positive magnitude of your good deeds dissolve into the atmosphere as if they never existed.” (From: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life). You no longer fit into the narcissist’s grandiose sense of himself. You have not sufficiently fulfilled the overwhelming needs that this person has for you to be perfect, obedient, ever-loving (regardless of his dark cruelties) and available 24/7.

Stop this cycle of narcissistic abuse by leaving the narcissist with your plan to regain your sense of a strong authentic self. Study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Understand these fixed personality traits that are uninclined to change.

Along with this learning, acknowledge and feel deeply the wonderful unique lovely individual that you are. Walk forward. Rest. Restore. Recover. Renew.

Come home to yourself!

Narcissists Lack a Real Conscience

Are you concerned at times that you have hurt someone’s feelings due to your harsh words or actions? Do you have worries that you misspoke out of anger and your own projections? Do you apologize when you have caused someone distress? These are a few of the questions that those who have a conscience exam within themselves. Individuals with conscience care about the emotional and psychological welfare of other people. They monitor themselves and make every effort to do and say what is right and fair. (This post refers to female and male narcissists).

Conscience is developed, not innate. By the time a child is three a primitive conscience begins to emerge through the quality of parenting. By the age of seven or eight, the conscience becomes more mature. Conscience grows as a result of parental input that provides the growing child with a sense of caring about the feelings of others. The good parent sets limits on a child’s impulses and wishes in a healthy way. Conscience develops and becomes more refined throughout life (or doesn’t).

Conscience, the capacity to distinguish what is right and wrong and to experience guilt when we have done harm to another is absent in the narcissist. These individuals do everything in their power not to get caught in their deceptive, unethical and illegals deeds. For them, this is “conscience.”

The narcissist is ruthlessly goal oriented to the extent that he or she is always in the fast lane to achieve his goals regardless of the harm and distress that it causes others. If lying is the best way to win–that’s fine. The narcissist rationalizes his lies or doesn’t even acknowledge them.

Lack of conscience makes the narcissist’s movement to the finish line first much easier. He doesn’t have to be concerned about the devastating effects of his misdeeds upon others, especially spouses, ex-spouses, siblings, children, co-workers, business partners and everyone who crosses his path.

How often have you seen reckless drivers on the freeway, threading in and out of heavy traffic at high speeds. These individuals are endangering everyone else on the road but that doesn’t matter to them. This is a visual metaphor for the narcissist who moves through the fast lane of his life goals without conscience, empathy, compassion or guilt. These individuals sleep at night without a quiver of guilt.

Our current society is exceedingly narcissistic. Being ruthless without conscience is highly accepted in many sectors of this current narcissistic climate. Winning, “succeeding” at any cost–have become life goals. There is nothing the matter with success. We work diligently with our gifts to do better and use our efforts to perform professionally and personally on a high level. But we do this with conscience.

Along with the narcissist’s lack of conscience comes deception, duplicitousness, manipulations and exploitation. As the narcissist races through life, he is regressing and becoming more deeply entrenched in these pathological personality traits and actions.

Learn to recognize the narcissist quickly so that you will protect yourself from these individuals. Being informed is very powerful. You will know what to expect–nothing!

Remember, you have a conscience—the narcissist doesn’t and will not develop one. This is a fixed personality constellation that is not inclined to change.

You are evolving all of the time. This process is not a straight forward line. There are plateaus, trials, disappointments, losses, fears and regrets that we face. This is the life process. Give yourself tremendous credit for being a person of conscience and compassion. You are that unique individual that always strives to do the right thing especially when no one is watching or will ever find out. It is in the deep inner self that you feel the peace of your authenticity and integrity.

Narcissist–Master of Deceit

“The narcissist is at all times a deceiver, never straight, clear, or true …He has mastered the ability to delude himself and others. Like a sorcerer, he hatches intricate plots in secret.” (From: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life)

The false self narcissist lives in a world of delusion and bombastic self adoration. (This post refers to male and female narcissists.) He expects everyone to pay attention only to him. He is the singular person who exists unless you are the bearer of re-circulating narcissistic supplies.

Deceit is the narcissist’s middle name. This individual is always playing a game, hatching a plot, planning how he will trap, uproot, degrade, diminish and conquer you. This is especially the case when a marriage has disintegrated and you are in the throes of the divorce wars. Narcissists are relentless in their attacks, plots and plans to make sure that you don’t get anything–financial, psychological, emotional–out of the dissolution of the marriage. In fact, narcissists want what legally belongs to you. I have seen so many cases where the abused spouse has been left with almost nothing after a series of cruel, ugly skirmishes during the divorce. The narcissist is always armed with a trickster of an attorney (often another narcissist or socialized sociopath) who is paid the big bucks to collude with his client. Narcissists love to run the table on you during a divorce. Often this includes a tug a war with the children. Narcissists are incapable of love but they use their children as living narcissistic supplies. There is a great ugly series of battles that go on over the children.

The narcissist is a method actor who convinces everyone else that you are the bad person or weak and incompetent one–He tells lies about you to family members and friends indicating that you are psychologically unstable or even crazy.

Knowing in advance the true nature of your narcissistic spouse will help you tremendously to prepare for the divorce. Vital to this process is your learning to take charge and care of yourself. Keep your distance from the narcissist–remember that he/she is always in some state of rage, just waiting to project psychological venom on to you. If you think of the narcissist as a clinical case, this can help you to maintain a clear distance and maintain healthy psychological boundaries.

Surround yourself with individuals whom you trust and who have your welfare uppermost in their minds. Take time for yourself alone. Nourish yourself in every way possible. Seek practices that calm your nervous system–beautiful music, Nature, creative spontaneous writing and journaling, gentle hatha yoga with emphasis on breathing through the nose, acupuncture that helps your nervous system move into the parasympathetic, spending time with people who can be trusted and care deeply about you and your evolution as an individual who deserves deep inner peace and the full use of all of your creative gifts.

Narcissists Love to Play Psychological Gotcha!

Narcissists are always plotting and planning your psychological demise if you are in their way. They come on with their magnificent charm, endless promises, seductive ways and excessive confidence. They know precisely when and how to strike to make you feel ashamed, unworthy, a failure, ugly, a castoff. They have a cruel gift of knowing exactly when to pop up in your presence when you are feeling particularly vulnerable and at your wits end.

Narcissistic mothers target their scapegoated children with multiple humiliations and caustic criticisms; narcissistic siblings make the unexpected grand entrance in all of their glory to put you down; narcissistic spouses wait for the right moment to emotionally pummel and humiliate you.

Narcissists are feverishly competitive. They must always win over you. They keep score. They know your moods, your weaknesses, how easily you can be deceived with their lies. Since they don’t have a developed conscience they are not burdened by wounding you psychologically, emotionally and financially. You are not on the same moral footing as the narcissist. He or she doesn’t have a moral compass. Their True North is what they want and must have. Playing their game of Psychological Gotcha they put you back in their control in the fight or flight sympathetic nervous system.

Be prepared for the Gotcha game of the narcissist by practicing daily healing in the ways that work best for you. Learn how to move toward the parasympathetic calming restorative nervous system through getting the sleep that you need, eating foods that nourish and sustain you, exercising regularly in the way that works best for you, stretching and doing gentle yoga poses with emphasis on breathing through the nose (Nostril breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system). Creative activities—writing, sketching, painting, music, dance–all of these and more activate the restorative healing parts of your body and mind. Guided meditation is another way of calming the body and mind. Short periods of meditation –3 to 5 minutes a day done consistently moves you toward healing. This accumulates over time. You will find that you are calmer, stronger, have more physical and psychological stamina.

As you heal and get stronger, you will find others whom you can trust, individuals who are not narcissists and who are empathic. We don’t need a lot of friends, just a few. Friendship is a powerful part of healing and sustaining us throughout our lives.

End the cruel Narcissistic Psychological Gotcha game by using these practices and your deep intuition which always tells you the truth. Pay close attention to these messages. We tend to wave them off. Don’t share your intuitions with most people. They won’t believe you. It is a waste of your time and effort. You will find very few individuals who trust this kind of knowledge. The more you use your intuition the more powerful it becomes.

Trust the healing process within you. Celebrate your individuality and authenticity. Embrace your creativity. Feel your loving heart.

Put Yourself First–Heal from the Narcissistic Spouse

I have found that those who are married to and divorcing narcissists have always put other people in their lives first. They are highly empathic individuals who take care of others. Many of them have narcissistic mothers and/or fathers and learn early that they must obey, dance to the tune of highest expectations, demands, recriminations, threats. “Be perfect or else” was the message they received from the narcissistic mom or dad. As a result these individuals are always in a state of fight or flight. They can’t relax. They become people pleasers and serve others. They don’t learn to give to themselves even when they are feeling ill, exhausted and completely worn out psychologically and emotionally.

Some children of narcissists develop chronic illnesses due to all of the stress, parental deprivation and abuse. I have heard from many of these survivors of the narcissist family wars.

Instead of choosing a partner who will love, appreciate and cherish them, children coming from these pathological backgrounds readily take the bait of the ever so charming magnetic irresistible narcissist. We are inclined to repeat patterns of behavior learned in childhood. These are survival modes that are very powerful. Don’t blame yourself if you have married a narcissist. It is not your fault. You couldn’t have known that you were getting into this dreadful “relationship” that would cause you untold suffering.

Once you recognize and know that you are married to a narcissistic personality and understand that he or she cannot change and have made the decision to divorce, go forward with a detailed well thought out plan. The essential part of this process is to put yourself first. You are not going to please the narcissist ever–even if you are perfect!

Pay attention to every detail of your plan of action. Part of this process is your healing practice. This is the first time in your life that you have watched out for yourself. Take courage in this new freedom road you are constructing. The psychological terrain is unfamiliar–putting yourself first. Know that you are creating new neuronal pathways in your mind, that your body is strengthening, that you will is deepening, that your creativity is thriving—all of your engines are moving along with a new sound–a fine music that you are now hearing. You will become more familiar with this real self that has been inside of you all of the time. Embrace it–love it, find refuge and peace here. This is the thriving original authentic creative lively true self!

Narcissist’s Boundless Hubris in Marriage and Divorce

Hubris–extreme arrogance, haughtiness, high-handedness–describes much of the narcissistic spouse’s deeply ingrained personality style. With no sense of limits, psychological boundaries, one scintilla of empathy or a developed conscience, the narcissist drives in the fast lane of life, weaving in and out, putting everyone else in various forms of psychological, emotional and financial jeopardy. This is especially the case with spouses of narcissists who are married to them or going through the travails of a divorce. (This post refers to female and male narcissists).

I have found that some of the loveliest human beings are married to or divorcing narcissists or narcissistic ex’s. Often the spouse of the narcissist is highly empathic. I have heard innumerable life stories of the cruelest pain perpetrated on the spouse. Without a conscience the narcissist is free to do whatever he wishes, to get every prize by cheating, lying, demeaning, intimidating—threatening to vanquish those in his way. Unfortunately, acting boorish and obnoxious often works. The narcissist’s over the top confidence is perceived as strength and mastery in this age of extreme pathological narcissism.

The narcissist is determined to “get to you”–to weaken and annihilate you psychologically in some egregious cases. He is determined to make you lose your temper and explode or to make you cry uncontrollably or to act out in an irrational way. He is setting traps for your emotional and psychological vulnerabilities all of the time, especially during a divorce. The narcissist is determined and knows that he is entitled to the “spoils” of the marriage—property, investments, bank accounts (even if they are joint ones) and in many cases, he is counting on having the children as his ready narcissistic supplies. Narcissists are very bored with raising children and they only care about the progeny that are very attractive, bright, athletic, filled with charm and high level confident social skills.

A wife or child is a commodity to the narcissist, a way to get re-circulating narcissistic supply. When the wife is no longer fulfilling this voracious need, she is dismissed cruelly and replaced by a younger model. If the replacement has excellent social connections, an incredibly successful career and family money, all the better. The same is true of a female narcissist who is replacing a now hapless, boring husband.

There are no limits or humaneness as the narcissist ruthlessly and brazenly moves through the divorce process. All agreements are off, then on, then postponed. The narcissist feels superior even to the attorneys and judges he encounters. He is the all knowing brilliant wise person. No one is superior to his perfection. This grandiosity works in this age of inflated egos.

Never be surprised at the outrageousness of the narcissist. Doing in-depth research gives you a detailed picture of these individuals. The research and clinical longitudinal studies and the many years of study indicate that the narcissistic personality is not inclined to change.

Once you are in the process of extricating yourself from the narcissist, take heart in who you are as an individual and give yourself tremendous credit for taking this courageous step. Put your self care first. Some spouses find that high quality psychotherapy helps them move through this process. Maintaining a strong and resilient support system is key to keeping the faith that you will be free and intact to lead the life that you deserve. Various practices–gentle hatha yoga, guided meditation, acupuncture that calms the nervous system, your form of exercise, the healing power of Nature, etc. are all keys to your success throughout this major shift in your life.

Divorcing A Narcissistic Physician–A Waking Nightmare

I have had communications with many women and men who are divorcing narcissistic physicians. (This post refers to male and female narcissistic doctors).

There are innumerable physicians who save lives and improve the health of their patients. They are dedicated, highly informed and gifted at their professions.

In this post I am speaking about divorcing narcissistic physicians. Imagine that you are married to a narcissistic doctor and going through a very nasty prolonged divorce. Some of you have been there and can attest to the relentless, painful unforgiving aspects of going through this series of battles.

Narcissistic doctors, especially those who are highly successful make very large incomes. The amounts are even larger today with the cost of healthcare rising astronomically. One of the scenarios that I hear repeatedly is that with the narcissistic physician you often have a pronounced Jekyll/Hyde series of personality traits. The doctor is above reproach publically. In private he/she is full of volcanic rage, has low impulse control, continually projects his venom on to spouses and children, is obsessively controlling– checking to see who, what, where the spouse is at all times.

Narcissistic doctors play around a lot. Some have more than one affair going at a time. Since they have no conscience this kind of deception or any other doesn’t bother them. After all, as long as their precious egos are getting boosted and no one finds out, what is there to worry about.

Narcissists are full of deceit and duplicity. They continually manipulate and intimidate their spouses and children. They are hypocrites and know how to act like “good people.” This is part of a contrived persona that enhances their image even further.

Divorcing a narcissistic physician takes a lot of detailed planning, regular self care and a divorce team that is competent, knowledgeable, savvy, available, understands the personality traits of the narcissistic personality and is highly experienced at strategies that work with these toxic individuals.

I know of men and women who went through this process on their own without much outside help of any kind–including having to deal with a series of incompetent attorneys. This is truly remarkable. I have tremendous respect for these individuals. They never gave up. They kept going each day–one at a time. They made strategic decisions, protected their children, maintained control over themselves despite even being balled out by other attorneys, counselors, mediators, etc. They were determined to win and were up for the marathon battle.

Start by giving yourself fully earned credit for who you really are–Honor your true self. Don’t blame yourself for having married a narcissistic physician. You could never have known who this person was. Stop making self judgments. Those I know who have come through this process learned to let go of this kind of mind set. They kept themselves in a positive, ready for combat and self contained frame of mind as often as possible. Don’t be judgmental about your meltdowns–You are human after all.

The narcissist is always waiting for you to cave in and will do anything to throw you over. You can surprise even the narcissistic physician. Forget all of his medical training, the schools he/she attended and his walls of degrees. Remember that beneath the grandiose extremely self entitled false self, there is a highly damaged, psychologically empty, true self that is very regressed. You are the adult in this situation. You have the fine character, courage, psychological and emotional intelligence and the deep intuition to move forward in this process and your life.

If you have access to support, use it. Lean on those whom you trust. There may just be a few. I find that this is all we need, especially in this time of your need. Most of all, be kind to yourself.

Narcissistic Spouses Hiding the Assets

If you are seriously thinking about divorcing your narcissistic husband/wife, don’t give any indication–verbal or nonverbal that this is your intention. Narcissists are incapable of introspection or insight but they are uncanny in detecting when you are on to them and headed for divorce court. Be sure that you have made detailed plans to protect your personal assets and the part of the shared property, investments, bank accounts, etc to which you are entitled. Research and interview more than one attorney. Personal recommendations can be of great value but an individual that is effective for one person may not be successful in your situation. Make a clear appraisal. The attorney must be highly skilled in his/her field. In addition he must have a clear understanding of the character traits of the narcissistic personality. That doesn’t mean he must be an expert. He needs to be very savvy about highly manipulative people who lie, have no conscience, are completely ruthless and are dirty players. Expect the opposing attorney to be very tough, chronically lie, be highly manipulative and intimidating. He/she has a charming and go below the belt if he/she can get away with it.

One of the most common schemes of the narcissist is to put all of the assets including properties, bank accounts, stocks in his name. I have communicated with spouses who were absolutely stunned to find out that their financial security had beenr ripped away from them years before they decided to seek a divorce. Don’t put anything past the narcissist. It is strategically wise to play his role–think the way he does. How is he plotting to ruin you financially. What schemes does he have up his sleeve. Is he talking to gullible family members against you? Is he using a business partner to hold his assets (and yours) as a way of playing “I don’t have anything–You can’t get money out of a stone.”

Once you make the decision to go ahead with the divorce, don’t get pulled in the narcissist’s empty promises—this is a ruse, an undertow that will pull you back down.

Form a strong support group. Seek psychotherapy if you think it will help you through the process. Be sure you choose a therapist who is not a narcissist–Yes there are some who are in this profession.

Choose healing routines–gentle yoga poses, slow stretching with the breath that is relaxing and loosens tightened muscles, spend time with Nature–it is healing. Spend time with a few people whom you trust and are there for you. There are some high quality guided meditation tapes on You Tube. There are some good ones by a group called The Hones Guys from England. There are many others. It is worth the search.

Calming the nervous system using gentle hatha yoga, acupuncture with an excellent practitioner, listening to the music you love and spending time with individuals you trust and have your best interests at heart and are there for you are some of the ways that you will be supported and helped during this very difficult divorce process from a narcissist. I have been in contact with many who have gone through this ordeal and come through to lead the lives that they deserve. Remember, you come first.

Continue to research the narcissistic personality in depth. The more that you know and understand about this fixed personality disorder, the more power you have in this process. Take very good care of yourself.

When Narcissists Tell You Who They Are–Believe Them

It is difficult for most people to identify and recognize the true nature of the narcissistic personality. Therapists are often fooled by them. There are therapists who are narcissists who go for the gold of desperate clients—I have known some of these and I’ll bet you have.

Don’t blame yourself for being charmed into surrender by a narcissist. It is often very difficult to say “No” to them. One of the best offenses is to research the narcissistic personality in-depth.

This is the age of narcissism, a time when these individuals have risen to the top of the heap in our worlds of business, commerce, the healing arts, government, Wall Street, banking, etc. The cult of the external image is fully formed in our society today. People are judged and assessed by how they look, their wealth, success in their professions, their youthfulness. The adoration of the externals prevails in this society today. There are unique individuals who are taking an opposite route to the evolution of the self, compassion for others and leading a simple life–but these are the exceptions. Shopping itself has become a kind of religion. Incessant travel is an escape that is considered wonderful–even an accomplishment. There is nothing the matter with travel but when individuals are in a swirl of obsessive shopping and travel and continually externalizing themselves, they are not growing inside.

Narcissists announce themselves in various ways. The classic ones are grandiose, charming, highly confident, extremely self entitled. They come bearing gifts of promises that they are entranced with you. They make promises that we want to believe. They make us feel better about ourselves, more exciting than we have felt alone. They bring ever vibrant Technicolor into our lives. The classic narcissist is in command and we are easily seduced into his/her world. (This post refers to male and female narcissists.) They promise to lift us out of our misery—They become our saviors in a sense. That is how convincing they are. They speak of their love for us; we believe them–That’s how fine their acting comes across. I call them fine method actors.

You join with the narcissist in a close relationship. You make plans with the narcissist and believe that you are now different because of this developing relationship. You put faith in this. It becomes a central theme within you.

You trust this person and make the assumption that he will always tell you the truth and act accordingly. Along the way you discover that this person has been lying and deceiving you. You are shocked. You confront the narcissist and he tells you that you are mistaken–that you have misunderstood–even that you are confused and crazy. So many victims of narcissists believe that there is something the matter with them. You are a person of integrity and think that others have these same characteristics. The narcissistic personality does not. He does not have a developed conscience. The “conscience” of the narcissist is determined by whether he will get caught or not. Narcissists are continually lying; it is automatic for them. They have been deceitful all of their lives. This is a hard concept for those with a true solid conscience. It is very important that you understand that not everyone has a developed conscience. Always keep this in mind in identifying the narcissistic personality.

Narcissists are loyal to no one. They can have many relationships at one time. These are not authentic ones since the narcissist is incapable of true emotional intimacy.

Narcissists are constantly seeking narcissistic supplies which makes them feel fuller. Inside, deep in the unconscious, the narcissist’s world is bleak and empty. As a result the narcissist is always in search of praise, adulation, even veneration. Those who are high level narcissists in the world have re-circulating sources of narcissistic supply–people that come to worship at their thrones.

Narcissists cannot be loyal to anyone. They move from one victim to the next. One person is interchangeable with another. When you no longer supply their need for image enhancement, your role as their servant, etc. they replace you quickly. They can’t be bothered with you anymore. You have serviced their purpose. They send you out of the paradise of their presence. As devastating as this can be, it is opportunity to escape from the imprisonment of life shared with a narcissistic personality. I have known many individuals who have made this travel to freedom and rediscovered their true selves. .

Your intuition will tell you who the narcissist is–you are getting signals about this person’s true nature. Pay attention to them. They are telling you the truth.

Remember to value and put yourself and self care first in your life. This is not selfish. It is essential.

Have quiet times for the beauty of Nature, exercise in the ways that work best for you, explore your creative gifts in all of their forms. Practice gentle hatha yoga, do short guided meditation that appeals to you. Spend time with friends whom you trust who care deeply about you.

Knowing and appreciating who you are will always protect you from becoming mystified by narcissistic personalities. They will announce their presence to you and you will know exactly who they are. They have told you this in every way. Congratulations!

Sociopathic Narcissists Have the Killer Instinct

The grandiose narcissist needs to have his/her ego constantly stroked. He knows how to reel people in. He plays to their dependency needs, material desires, their aspirations for wealth and power. (This blog post refers to male and female narcissists.) He can take one look at a woman and know how to get her under his control. Many women fall for this master of charm with all the gilded promises. With a narcissist you are lead to believe that your life will be unlimited, that you can have every high and pleasurable experience you’ve ever wanted, that you will never have to worry about money, security, social status. You will always be royal.

The sociopathic narcissist is several steps beyond his classic brother narcissist. He doesn’t have a whiff of conscience. He is involved in illegal activities as part of his lifestyle. He secretly leads a number of lives. You get in his way and your life is toast. That is the force of his dangerous darkness. Those who go along with him are not leading their own lives. They stay there because of all the perks which are a constant distraction like a merry go round that is moving faster and faster. The giddiness of having anything you want is intoxicating.

Sociopathic narcissists are disastrous parents. They are incapable of forming an authentic relationship with their children. Some narcissistic sociopaths choose one child to mirror them. He becomes the golden boy or girl and can do no wrong. In some cases these children become narcissistic personalities.

Sociopathic narcissists are psychological killers in business. They terrorize their rivals. They have close allies and partners that make the lives of their competitors a living hell. They step over ethical and legal boundaries all of the time and don’t get caught because they have a coterie of killer instinct sociopathic lawyers. Narcissistic sociopaths love to sue others and do so frequently.

When you decide to divorce a sociopathic narcissist, make your preparations secretly and take your time to do a lot of research. Interview several attorneys who understand the way these people tick. The soon to be ex is out for blood and will stop at nothing to win. Find an attorney who is not intimidated in the slightest with these personalities, someone who remains calm when the long knives come out. Use all of your resources to get the support you need. Excellent psychotherapy can be very helpful during this time. Find friends that are available to support you and stick with this ordeal. You will prevail. Keep telling yourself that this is a marathon and you are up to the race and will cross the finish line in victory.