Narcissists Deceive and Discard Their Spouses

Narcissists are solo acts. They are incapable of forming genuine relationships, especially with their spouses. Narcissists are duplicitous. They have many secret agendas. They skillfully compartmentalize and keep their secrets. They are loyal to no one except themselves.

Married to a narcissist, you are constantly on the receiving end of their vituperative, vile projections.

After the marriage turns stale, the narcissist grows more restless. They are disgusted with spouses who are ill or have chronic physical, emotional or psychological problems. This cramps their style and doesn’t suit their high flying energy. Besides, it’s dreadful for their grandiose image. This is all that matters to them.

Narcissists abandon their spouses, leaving them without psychological or financial support. They never look back at the horrendous pain and distress they have caused. So full of themselves they adroitly shift to a new stage set with a fresh partner. These cruel scenarios are repeated by narcissists with impunity in our current, coarse, self absorbed culture.

You can recover and restore your authentic sense of self and move forward along your pathways of deep inner peace, psychological grounding and creative gifts. Remember to put yourself first. Get the rest and sleep that you need, nourishing food, exercise your way and call on your creative gifts – unedited writing, spend time with Nature. You can and will recover and evolve as a true authentic self. Click below to purchase a copy of my current book on Amazon that is filled with specific self care practices: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist. https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

Empaths: Celebrate Your Unique Gifts

Empaths are unique individuals, experiencing their world in the most personal, tuned in way. Empaths are born with gifts of profound perception. They are highly attuned to their inner world and that of others. They perceive the depths of other human beings and know what they are feeling and thinking.

Empaths are often misunderstood. These children have a tough time in their families. Family members including their parents often view them as over-dramatic, too sensitive and emotionally frail, incapable of going with the knocks of life.

Empaths are not believed especially in today’s society where over-extended egos and loud aggressive voices win the power, the wealth and the day. We live in a crude, rough culture of sharp, jagged edges.

There was a time not so long ago when people actually paused to watch the clouds roll by, to listen to voices of the wind, to tell tales by camp fire, to climb trees to capture the view.

These days, few people listen. Most are impatient, even rude. If your voice is reticent, there is a built in impatience with your message. You are dismissed and trivialized.

Social immediacy and a quick dramatic image has taken up all attention. The shiny objects that dance before us are indicative of a perverse shallowness of thought and a thorough lack of feeling.

As a child you were subject to the house familial rules and psychological delusions. Your parents lived in a bubble that they created and maintained with great care. You kept trying to be understood. You used every method of persuasion but to no avail. Your siblings and mother and father had louder more compelling voices.

Often you were left alone to sort everything out for yourself. And this is exactly what you did. There was some doubt about your worthwhileness but left to your deep imagination and a developed capacity for solitude, you created and shaped your own worlds, special time warps you could inhabit. What a relief you found in these special places you created inside of your mind and imagination.

You still wanted to belong and tried intermittently to fit in. But you didn’t because you are a unique individual.

Many child empaths learn that reading is the ticket to their freedom. Writing as well is a fine ship that takes us to many lands and seas. It is fair passage to the contents of your imagination.

Put yourself first by acknowledging your legitimacy and your value. Pay close attention to your psychological, physical, creative and emotional needs.

Choose individuals with whom you spend you time wisely. You only need a few of high consciousness and self awareness and compassion.

Spend as much time as possible in the parasympathetic, the calming, healing, restorative, creative part of your systems. Rest, sleep, sing, move, stretch, smile, laugh, create.

Here you find grace, respite and peace. This is your psychological and spiritual home – where you were meant to be.

Psychopaths – Irresistible and Dangerous

We are surrounded by psychopaths in our current society.   There is a deep core of integrity that is missing in these individuals. Those who grow up like mutant psychological weeds never develop a conscience.

They emerge from the full range of socioeconomic classes. Some are golden children of narcissistic parents who from the beginning of their lives are allowed and even encouraged to give in to all of their primal instincts. In these families, siblings of the blooming psychopathic golden child are treated with the harshest, basest cruelties.  Parents of these “privileged golden children” simply look the other way, immune to the treacheries of their psychological and emotional crimes.  

Psychopaths have no limits. They live in a delusional headiness, lotus-eaters, greedy to the max, voracious takers who leave overwhelming pain in their path.  

Society today gives these individuals a huge pass if they are exceedingly successful in the world with money and power in particular. 

Psychopaths are often very attractive with high energy. Early on they use these inherited gifts to magnetize individuals to them. In particular they are gifted at the art of seduction and of getting you to return to them as a result of their convincing persuasions and empty promises.

Many of you have been caught in the psychopathic web of lies, deceits, manipulations and cruelties.  The psychological, emotional and financial damage that they continue to do and have done cannot be understated. 

Insulate yourself from the psychopaths that populate our current society. First, learn how to recognize them quickly and to say “No” to them in the opening phases. You deserve to find individuals who have a fine character and well developed conscience and moral compass. With them you continue to evolve, are free to express your true self, to grow creatively and spiritually. 

Each day, follow your plan of evolution by getting the sleep and rest that you need and deserve, the nourishing food that keeps you healthy and vital, the expression of your many creative gifts, your enjoyment of Nature and the experience of individuals who are worthy of your trust. 

Thank You

I appreciate the participation of everyone who reads this blog. I will continue to write about every facet of the Narcissistic Personality, Narcissistic Abuse, the Covert Narcissist, Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist.

I am in the process of writing another book on the Narcissistic Personality.  Due to the time needed to research, write, edit and have this book published, I am temporarily closing the Comments feature on this blog.

I appreciate your understanding while I do this work.

I have learned so much from all of you who read this blog and those who have shared their issues with me and everyone else who comes to this site.

I deeply appreciate your sharing personal stories here that help others to work through the complex and difficult psychological and emotional issues involved with those who deal with Narcissistic Personalities.

Thank you so much for your insightful contributions!

 

The Life of An Empath

From birth Empaths have strong, deep reactions to their internal and external environments. Their feelings for others run very deep. They are capable of perceiving another human being, using cues that originate from their keen gifts of perception. They know when someone is psychologically, physically and emotionally dangerous when others are perfectly at ease with this individual. Empaths are highly tuned to their external environments and hear the slightest noises, smell acutely and see colors vividly. They can be disoriented easily in loud public venues where their senses are put on high alert. Empaths have a very difficult time blocking stimuli that is coming into their nervous systems and senses and are easily overwhelmed. They are capable of knowing instantaneously the unconscious intentions of another person whom they have just met. Of course when empaths share their intuitive knowledge with others, they are not believed and considered to be very strange or deluded.
The life of an empath is different from everyone else. It requires that this individual acknowledge that they must live differently – more quietly, calmly, with solitude, regular rest, quality sleep and the support of those who respect their unique qualities.
Discovering and using your creative gifts and immersing yourself in Nature are two of the most powerful ways the empath can evolve and heal. With deep caring for yourself and without judgment, explore the areas of creative endeavors that fascinate you – writing, painting, sewing, designing, cooking sketching, speaking, singing, creative movement. See what appeals to you and follow it. Nature is always there waiting to heal us whenever we immerse ourselves in her presence. A breeze, a tiny turning leaf, a spider spinning his web, birds chirping to one another, a butterfly that crosses our path – these daily experiences are here to meet our receptivity. In the photo is one of my favorites of Nature’s treasury: the delicate, undaunted, powerful, magnificent Hummingbird.

Narcissist–Master of Deceit

“The narcissist is at all times a deceiver, never straight, clear, or true …He has mastered the ability to delude himself and others. Like a sorcerer, he hatches intricate plots in secret.” (From: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life)

The false self narcissist lives in a world of delusion and bombastic self adoration. (This post refers to male and female narcissists.)  He expects everyone to pay attention only to him. He is the singular person who exists unless you are the bearer of re-circulating narcissistic supplies.

Deceit is the narcissist’s middle name. This individual is always playing a game, hatching a plot, planning how he will trap, uproot, degrade, diminish and conquer you. This is especially the case when a marriage has disintegrated and you are in the throes of the divorce wars. Narcissists are relentless in their attacks, plots and plans to make sure that you don’t get anything–financial, psychological, emotional–out of the dissolution of the marriage. In fact, narcissists want what legally belongs to you. I have seen so many cases where the abused spouse has been left with almost nothing after a series of cruel, ugly skirmishes during the divorce. The narcissist is always armed with a trickster of an attorney (often another narcissist or socialized sociopath) who is paid the big bucks to collude with his client. Narcissists love to run the table on you during a divorce. Often this includes a tug a war with the children. Narcissists are incapable of love but they use their children as living narcissistic supplies. There is a great ugly series of battles that go on over the children.

The narcissist is a method actor who convinces everyone else that you are the bad person or weak and incompetent one–He tells lies about you to family members and friends indicating that you are psychologically unstable or even crazy.

Knowing in advance the true nature of your narcissistic spouse will help you tremendously to prepare for the divorce. Vital to this process is your learning to take charge and care of yourself. Keep your distance from the narcissist–remember that he/she is always in some state of rage, just waiting to project psychological venom on to you. If you think of the narcissist as a clinical case, this can help you to maintain a clear distance and maintain healthy psychological boundaries.

Surround yourself with individuals whom you trust and who have your welfare uppermost in their minds. Take time for yourself alone. Nourish yourself in every way possible. Seek practices that calm your nervous system–beautiful music, Nature, creative spontaneous writing and journaling, gentle hatha yoga with emphasis on breathing through the nose, acupuncture that helps your nervous system move into the parasympathetic, spending time with people who can be trusted and care deeply about you and your evolution as an individual who deserves deep inner peace and the full use of all of your creative gifts.