I have heard a number of life stories about narcissistic golden daughters who treated their younger or older sisters sadistically. Talk about pinching skin, pulling hair, spitting in the face of a small child—all of these horrid events have been perpetrated and much more. Some sisters tell me that they were locked in closets for hours when mother was not home. Their screams were unheard and only stopped when the victim was so exhausted that she fell to the floor in a heap. There are knives put a few inches from the skin in threat to a little sister. So cunning are these wretched narcissists that they don’t get caught. Rather the blame is placed on the victim and mother goes along with the lies that Golden Girl tells. Often, mother is a narcissist and the two of them double team the scapegoat and get pleasure from the pain they inflict. This is sickening but true. Read this and know that it happens much more often than you can imagine unless you have been victimized in this way.
I am sorry beyond the words that I write about what happened to you. You deserved to be cherished and to feel safe and secure. Now that you are grown I know that life is often a day to day struggle for some. I am committed to getting the word out about these atrocities that are done in secret. I see clearly behind the curtain that reveals these horrors. I wish you deliverance from the memories of what happened to you, an innocent, lovely child–now an adult.
Give yourself credit for surviving this.You are heroic. I hold a special place for you in my heart. Embrace the child inside of you. Comfort her. You have strength, integrity and the capacity to heal.For some, excellent psychotherapy is a good beginning point. All healing starts with self care and a feeling of entitlement to lead a good life that has inner peace and hope and compassion toward yourself and from others within it. Take care of your needs for rest, sleep, use of your creative gifts, listening to healing music, spontaneous writing, finding individuals whom you can trust.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.