You survived marriage and divorce from a narcissistic spouse. The years you spent giving your life to this person and trying to save the marriage were very painful. You could not have known when you married your narcissistic husband or wife that you were in for a torturous ride. You went to counseling, couples therapy and did everything you could to make the relationship work. You fought through the divorce wars including ugly custody disputes and prolonged financial skirmishes. In the end you were often left with an unfair settlement. As an ex-spouse of a narcissist some of these battles continue if the children are underage. Give yourself credit for all of the efforts you have made. Now the focus must be on your healing on every level.
An essential of healing in the aftermath of the narcissist is that you put yourself first. As a child you did not learn that this was possible and necessary.
Children who have been raised in these abusive backgrounds can be vulnerable as adults to become ensnared in the narcissist’s web and marrying this kind of individual. Never blame yourself for being fooled. Narcissists are masters of disguise and deceit. They exude charm and put you in a kind of trance that tells you that you are loved by them. Now you know the truth and have survived the severance of this toxic relationship.
These are some essentials involved in your healing and evolving as an individual:
1. Pay close attention to your intuitive gifts and follow them. They are always telling you the truth.
2. Get the sleep you need and deserve. Eat nourishing foods slowly and with pleasure–no rushing.
3. Learn to enjoy your own company and solitude if that has not been the case in the past.
4. Journal your spontaneous thoughts and feelings. Let it all flow without judgment.
5. Go deep inside the music that you love. If you are inclined, move to this music and feel your body responding to the beat and melody.
6. Do exercise regularly that works best for you.
7. Simple hatha yoga poses with emphasis on breathing through the nose activate the parasympathetic nervous system–the calming at peace phase of our body/minds.
8. Remember that you have a great sense of humor. This is one of life’s saving graces.
9. Find and keep those individuals near you who respect and appreciate your authenticity and unique individuality.
10. Get your creativity re-flowing and expanding. This process is filled with joy and a sense of personal accomplishment and healing.