Male and female narcissists are incapable of genuine feelings of love, caring, giving comfort, having empathy or being merciful.
When you are married to a narcissist you become his/her possession. Narcissists are completely disingenuous. They are deluded human beings. It doesn’t matter how successful they are in the world; in their personal lives they are unable to give or receive on any level.
Narcissists believe they own their spouses. They are highly manipulative and secretive. Most spouses have no clue about the concealed lives that they lead right under your nose. Narcissists enjoy the thrill of their clandestine lives. It is an adrenaline rush for them–like the fastest down hill run.
Narcissistic spouses are known for hiding money from their husbands or wives. They want everything for themselves and are always planning what they will do when they decide to dispose of you. Of course, they will move on to a new life. For them everyone has a price and everyone is expendable.
The spouse is an object for the narcissist like a painting that can be auctioned off to the highest bidder. While you are married to the narcissist, he or she insists that you maintain a perfect image that is a reflection of his importance and outward power. After all, you are a living reflection of his/her worth.
When you discover who this individual truly is and decide to divorce him/her, be prepared in advance before you are dumped or put to the side. Do your homework and research. Do not share your plans with the narcissist. You cannot trust someone who has treated you like a non-person.
Begin to take very good care of yourself and maintain your psychological and financial independence as much as you can. Recognize that you are moving in the right direction to re-engage your own life and to rediscover your true self. This is a journey well worth taking.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.