High Level Narcissists Spew Their Vile Shadows on Their Spouses and Children
Quoting from my book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:
”Psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung introduced the archetype of the Shadow, that part of the psyche that…t is largely unconscious and dispossessed…Those who have no conscious acquaintance with their shadow, project forgotten, forbidden and disowned parts of themselves on to others in destructive ways.”
“Those who have no conscious acquaintance with their shadow, project psychologically disowned pars of themselves on to others. When kept out of conscious awareness, the shadow overruns the personality. Like the shadow of the moon in mid-day eclipses the sun, everything becomes dark. The disowned shadow takes retribution against the closed personality, revealing itself in highly destructive ways. The shadow elements that control an individual’s personality are a lethal poison that re projected on to those closest to him—spouses, children and other family members.”
“One way or another, the shadow seeps out, rushes from its hiding place and floods the personality.”
The high level narcissist, though charming, accomplished and charismatic, is psychologically shallow. For most it is the achievement of the perfect image and persona that supersedes the personality.
The high level uses a series of powerful defense mechanisms that keep him/her from searching for self-truth and insight. This is not their focus. They are driven to succeed in the world, they compete and win against others who would dare to compete with them. Their values are materialistic, have a surface veneer that shines brightly on the outside and hides the shallow empty horrors deep in their disturbed psyches.
Throughout their days, the high level uses the powerful defense of denial which allow him to create his own sense of reality. The high level is gifted at putting together a flawless package of privilege, luxury, surface beauty, indulgences beyond the imagination. A voluptuary to the core, the high level seeks unending multiple pleasures.
Deep inside the high level has concealed the dark, vile, aggressive parts of himself/herself that seethe with frustration, self-loathing, bottomless emptiness.
Spouses and children of the high level narcissist become recipients of the vomiting of this horrid, ugly brew.
These events become frequent upon the part of the high level narcissist who is blaise about his primitive multiple transgressions against those closest to him. At times he blames the victim for his horrific behavior. High levels don’t apologize for their outrageous behaviors
It is automatic for the high level for taking no blame since these individuals don’t develop a conscience. Of course they draw the line on deeds that will get them into trouble.
With research and intuitive wisdom you recognize that you can no longer share yourself with a loathsome being who is transforming himself often into a permanent terrifying vile version of Mister Hyde.
You are fully awake and aware. Now is your time for separating yourself away from this daily nightmare. You deserve to continue your process of evolutions as an individual who experiences solitude, inner peace, the gifts of your creativity, the company of those whom you can trust and who support and encourage your continued development as a person of insight, integrity and seeker of the truth. You are on your way. Give yourself special attribution for the journey you are taking on the pathway of the original self.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.