We are all deluded in varying degrees. Some individuals are more “awake” than others. Most people believe their personal story of a happy family. They tell us: “I came from a good family. Mom and dad were nice people. I had a good childhood.” Really? Often this is the story that we tell ourselves so we don’t have to remember the truth about what actually happened to us. The same is true about spouses who are married to narcissists. They are brainwashed by the narcissist to believe that life is going well for them despite the narcissist’s verbal abusiveness, constant lies, humiliations, manipulations, exploitations and lack of empathy. So many spouses are so psychologically fused with the narcissistic partner they are unable to see daylight.
When the light of truth begins to dawn, pay attention.You awaken from the narcissist’s hypnotic trance and come face to face with the dismissive and often brutal way you have been treated. You will clearly recall how you and your children are servants of the narcissist’s whims and demands. Your personal power has been turned over to him. Think of the psychological harm this is causing your children. None of you deserve to lead lives which appear to perfect on the surface and coincide with the narcissist’s obsessive image of reality. Look beneath and recall the cruel ugly reality of how you are not being viewed as a separate valuable individual who deserves respect and independent thinking. Realize that your children are innocents who are daily being manipulated by a very disturbed personality disorder. If you cannot make changes for yourself, do it for your children. Children of narcissists are victims of his/her pathology. Narcissists don’t change.As long as you are with him, the stage sets of image and the superficialities of place can alter, but the basic personality structure of these unempathic and ruthless individuals is virtually immutable.
When you awaken from the hypnotic trance the narcissist has placed on you (and with which you have unconsciously cooperated) you will finally see with new eyes. One of the best ways to stay fully awake is by listening to your intuition. Deepen this gift that we all have through establishing a practice of meditation or stillness. Create a practice that works for you. You will discover that meditation keeps you awake, deepens intuition, clarifies the mind and brings you a sense of inner peace. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.