Narcissists are thrilled by the climb to the top. They have their version of a Himalayan summit in their sites at all times. They push with obsessive focus for entrees into circles of the social elites, access to large veins of accumulated wealth -old and new- lifestyle accoutrements, and raw power that provides them with easy access to the most influential social and economic stratas. These are the individuals who are rules unto themselves and answer to no one. They control each card in the deck and every player at the table.
Some power maneuvers involve several narcissists playing different roles. There are narcissistic men and women who use their extraordinary physical attractiveness and psychological stealth to meet higher level narcissists who will lead them further up the mountain.
In one case a very attractive young man obtained his real estate license during a boom period. He had recently moved to the fringes of a very wealthy enclave. It was his goal to become a multimillionaire in five years. Through his gifts at captivating women with his great looks, easy conversation and seductive nonverbal communication, Rex got invited to parties that many of these exclusive individuals attended. After several unsuccessful forays into elite territories, he met the narcissistic wife of an ancient billionaire. The couple’s relationship was based on her access to his fortune:nothing more. Any emotional intimacy had always been out of the question since they were both narcissists. They were together to enhance his dynastic image so that she could inherit it directly from him. Diana purposely picked an elderly billionaire, knowing that she could lead an undetected secret life. Diana often calculated in her mind the number of months she would have to put up with this human albatross she had hooked on her line.
An exciting distraction from the sterile marriage was her intense physical relationship with Rex. In exchange for sexual favors and making her feel young and vital (Diana was more than twice her lover’s age) Diana introduced Rex to her inner power country club circle. He was on the inside now. Very soon Rex had more well heeled clients than he could manage. In the first two years of his real estate business, he cleared over four million dollars. Rex hired others to ensure that his transactions were closed smoothly. He couldn’t be bothered with picky details; he was a big picture man. Rex’s business/intimate arrangement with Diana spanned five years. In that period Rex kept his promise to himself and became a multimillionaire. Diana’s enfeebled narcissistic husband died, leaving her a bonified billionairess plus.
After Milton’s death, Diana was restless for a different brand of excitement. She arranged to visit one of their homes in Switzerland and stay for a while. She was bored and needed a change of people and culture. With some research and sleuthing, Diana became the fiancee of the scion of an old banking family in Switzerland. Heinz was a billionaire many times over. While the magic was still in the air, Diana married her multibillionaire. This narcissistic woman of many faces and roles had danced her way from one billionaire to the next, flawlessly executing each intricate step in her routine.
Each narcissist in this scenario got what he or she wanted, especially Diana, who choreographed, directed, produced and starred in the performances of her life. For each narcissist, these are performances. They are not real in the sense that there is no emotional or psychological commitment or loving attachment between any of the individuals in these pairings. In many ways they are business transactions, arranged for the purpose of providing each narcissist what he needs to reach his summit. For specific information about how narcissists manipulate the people in their world to achieve their heady goals, create chaos and psychological pain to others and how you can learn to skillfully identify and deal with these highly exploitive individuals, visit my website:www.the narcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.