Narcissists are masterful liars. They are brazen and glib with their lies. Clever narcissists get away with their mendacity because it is second nature to them. They cut their teeth on learning how to lie by omission or commission. When most of us lie, we squirm. The narcissist luxuriates in the lies that he uses to defeat his personal and professional opponents. Since he or she does not have a developed conscience, a lie here and there is an advantage to reaching his goal faster than anyone else.
Narcissistic lying becomes very ugly during the divorce process. The narcissist often spreads rumors about his former partner that are outrageous, damaging and completely untrue. Because his powers of persuasion are so highly developed many narcissists convince others that their spouse is to blame for all the chaos caused by the divorce. I have had non narcissistic spouses tell me that their narcissistic partner told large numbers of their acquaintances and family members that his husband or wife was mentally unstable, alcoholic, a drug addict, an irresponsible parent who was incapable of taking care of their children, promiscuous—the cruel litany of accusations and fabrications is endless. The narcissist is very believable to most people. He or she knows just what words to use, the right approach to take and the masterfully persuasive manner that will win others to his/her side.
To prevail psychologically and emotionally when a narcissist is off on one of his missions to tear you down, flex you muscles, recognize your strength and integrity to defeat this coward, turn to a small group of close friends worthy of your trust and discuss this matter with your therapist and the attorney who is representing you. It is vital that you be legally represented by an attorney who is highly experienced and sophisticated in dealing with these highly manipulative and exploitive individuals in the thickets of domestic issues. Draw on all of your strengths. You will be surprised at the resources you have access to deep inside that have remained dormant. Bring them out of the shadows, dust them off, shine them up and look forward to victory. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.