Narcissists Live in Psychological Darkness

The external image of the narcissist is the polar opposite of his/her internal world. On the outside the classic narcissist is frequently physically attractive, highly self confident, overflowing with charm. You feel the strong handshake, the eyes that penetrate your gaze, the rising of the jaw that tells you they are sure of every step. They are in command of their lives, unafraid and sure-footed. They spin phenomenal visions that are fueled by their grandiosity. Many people are fascinated by the narcissist in full bloom, exhibiting all of his persuasive gifts. When you are with a master narcissist you believe that anything is possible and can be accomplished with ease. The narcissistic view of life has no limits. They inspire awe in most people if they are high level narcissists who have mastered control and manipulation of others.

Beneath the glittery, irresistible surface, the inner world of the narcissist is empty, bleak and dark. There is a lifeless quality to the inner narcissist. These individuals are unacquainted with their unconscious feelings about themselves. They have no insight and believe their finely spun delusions. They convince others that they are superior and super human. Their followers are blindly loyal and believe they can do no wrong. Deep in the unconscious the narcissist is drowning in his self loathing and fraudulence.  He feels empty and emotionally rudderless.

Pressure, self hatred, psychological lifelessness, unending restlessness and rage build up in the narcissist within the unconscious. The narcissist cannot contain these overpowering feelings so he projects them like bilious vomit  on to those in his close environment. This includes his/her spouses, ex-spouses, children, siblings and in-laws. When they seethe with volcanic rage, the sounds emitted are bestial. Some of them let loose in public. Others save these ugly, rancorous scenes for private venues.

If you share your life with a narcissist, despite the role that you play, know that this person is never going to change. This is a severe personality disorder that is fixed and rigid. The narcissist lives in a psychological darkness that pulls others down into its depths. His/her demands, hatreds, treacheries, mounting cruelties, crimes of the heart mount as the darkness envelops him. He is unconcerned since the narcissist is out of touch with himself. It is those around him who are devastated by his internal psychological poisons. At the core he is putrid like a corpse that has been lying in the sun, giving off the lingering odor of death and decay. How long will you stay and be disastrously affected by this individual. Are there enough material rewards to cover up the stench of his vile deeds and deceits. Listen and you will hear the voice of your intuition rising, speaking to you in a compelling tone, telling you: “Get out now. Leave. Don’t stay or you will be trapped and lose yourself.”

There are many who have successfully removed themselves from the narcissist’s dark inner world. They have re-discovered themselves as individuals. The cracks of light have lengthened. They are in full light now and traveling a different road. Know that you can leave this dark place, that you don’t belong there.

Like our prehistoric ancestors who carried the miracle of fire from place to place, you have opened the warmth and light that has been waiting to manifest itself. This incandescence cannot be extinguished.  Your life has been restored. You are free and open to all that is deep within you. Celebrate, you are re-born. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my 


Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International

Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlifecom 

One thought on “Narcissists Live in Psychological Darkness”

  1. I stuck it out and she left me and our child. I’m doing much better. The dark cloud has left the home. I’m free to be me now. Spent the last 5 years of a 23 year marriage with anxiety over meeting all her bills and I was mildly afraid of her. It about killed me. Get to know all you can about these people. Get documentation from a professional before the divorce. Get an attorney. Try not to leave let them leave you and reap the benefits.They’ll leave you when you start standing up for yourself. They will know that the sucking party is about over. When they say they’re thinking about leaving, tell them they are free to go, but that you do not approve of a separation. You need to play back as cold as they are. Be freaking cold as hell back. It may take a few years to completely be rid of them. The narc is afraid of exposure, so your bound to get a good deal in court if they even show up. Be tough, be callous, be cold only towards them. My future ex would not tell anyone in the family about her leaving. I had to and before she left I suggested that she tell my parents she was leaving and why. Nope, too wimpy to do that. These people are nothings without you. They have no life except what they can suck out of you. I think she was also wanted to kill me subconsciously. She started drinking in the house and I’m a recovering alcoholic. She had not one bit of courtesy or thought about how I, or the kids would feel about alcohol. We told our children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol and have many alcoholics in our family. She also broke one of our promises to each that the person that started drinking would need to leave. I reminded her of this too. She didn’t like that. Really low behaviour. Be careful out there. This is all true stuff.

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