Narcissists love the ones’ they’re with. This can mean having several romantic “relationships” at one time. Narcissists are restless beings–peripatetic–always off to the next thrill, excitement, big win, victory dance, grand party. They are thrill seekers in the human arena even if that means that they are dissembling your life.They are incapable of caring deeply; they cannot love. This is a central piece of them that is missing. A dark hole has invaded their heart and will remain there for the rest of their lives. Regardless of their professional accomplishments, the esteem in which others hold them, their financial thrust, they cannot be human. They are incapable of empathy of any kind. They are masters of pseudo empathy like fine method actors.
Once you identify the man or woman in your life as a narcissistic personality, know that this person is not going to change despite all of the over the top promises, intimidations, cajolings, gifts, guises and dramatic performances.
It is up to you to make a decision for your life. That’s what matters. You have the knowledge, strength and wisdom to unyoke yourself from the narcissist. You have many brothers and sisters in spirit who are waiting to hear and see your victory dance.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
7 thoughts on “Narcissists Have Short Affection Spans”
Thank you for this post and this website. I was in a relationship with a Narcissist for four years, and everything I read describes him. The more I read the stronger I become to stay away from him and his false promises. This entry hits hard because he cheated on me like it was his job, always had a reason…..If I were prettier he wouldn’t cheat on me, if I wasn’t working so much he wouldn’t cheat on me, ect. It took a long time and a lot of therapy to realize the problem wasn’t me, it was him. It scares me to think that there are more people out there like him 🙁
This information is so helpful to me. It actually helps me to deal with my narcissist in my life, which is my children father. Am happy that you post , its such a help for me at my end of my rope dealing with him.
I agree 100% with this blog on narcissists incapability to love or show empathy as well as the fact that they will unravel your life. I have been the victim of a narcissistic husband to whom I am now divorced but still cannot seem to keep out of my life. He doesn’t leave me alone. However, I am confused as I have read your last 4 recent blogs on narcissist parents with daughters and sons and narcissistic children. In these blogs you mention that they can get help and recover but in this blog you mention they will never change. I’m confused as this appears contradictory. Please explain as I really want to understand. Thank you for stating that a victims decisions must be based on ourselves and what will save us in order to survive. In one blog I read the best way to recover is no contact and I agree. Thank you,
I agree with all these comments now that I have finally worked out that it is not all my fault, as I have been led to believe all my married life by my husband after he told me I should have listened to him, but apparently he did not have to listen to me as I know nothing now after teaching him lots of thing when first married but now he does not need me. It hurts but I have just decided to get on with my life without him in it now as he has no love or care for me. Even though I saw it in the beginning of our marriage I believed it would get better, as he had promised me everything one day but I know now that day will never come. We rarely see one another now even though we live under the same roof, he only comes home to sleep as I stopped cooking for him some time ago now as he was never here to eat till he felt like coming home from a pub, but he thought that was his right and I had now rights. After nearly 40 years of marriage I finally took a stand, but nothing has got any better, only worse. He stays out of my way now as he thinks he lost control of me and can only talk to me if he can abuse me about something, but I don’t listen anymore. I still don’t know where my life is headed as we can not communicate at all now, but I was sick of being abused and put down all my life, like he was by his parents. I have worked out a lot now as he told me I would work this out one day, but now that I have he does not like it as he has turned out just like them but of course cannot see it either.
My wife is so cold. She lacks any ability to empathize with me……….
Promises to go to counseling but five times now cancels or never goes at all.
She is emotionally abusive. She has no regard for my heart or my feelings. She turns every issue I have and spins it so that it’s all about her. I’m not allowed to feel anything.
She does not know how to love. Little things adding up now like she texts me something and I respond instantly and then my response should generate a response right away but she either does not answer at all or she replays fifteen mins later a million miles from topic. I spent the better part of 3 hours texting her begging her to engage me to no avail .
I’m simply not worth her time
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If u r with a narcisisst run for your dam life
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