Narcissistic Mothers, Fathers, Spouses–Annihilating You

Annihilation is a strong word. It means complete destruction,m even death. In this case psychological demise.

Once you are no longer serving the narcissist’s ego needs, you are of no use to him. If you are the child of a narcissist, you are constantly on guard for the next psychological ambush–the cruel words that cut to the core of your heart, the criticisms that humiliate and demean you, the actions that cause you constant shame, the endless, relentless behaviors–verbal and nonverbal—-that are designed to make you feel worthless and the narcissist feel superior and triumphant. As a child you are a prisoner of the treacheries of the narcissistic parent. You have to survive so you go along with the psychological (and in some cases physical) blows that befall you every day. Mothers telling their daughters how ugly and shameful they look, mothers who scream over and over again that they should have aborted you, spouses that pick away at everything you do–“you are always making mistakes.” What’s wrong with you? I didn’t realize how stupid you were”? ” You embarrass me. You used to be attractive. Now you look like an aging ugly woman.?’ These assaults never stop. They are meant to psychologically annihilate you. If you don’t understand this truth, then you are putting yourself in continuing psychological danger and eclipsing your life. The narcissist is ruling you.

When we are adults we can make the decision to sever the relationship with narcissistic parents and spouses. Some children have been sufficiently deluded that they continue to see their parents or spouses as good people. They blame themselves.

Study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Wake up and preserve your unique individuality and the quality of your life. Visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
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