Narcissist-Sweet Revenge

The urge to take revenge runs deeply through the narcissist’s blood. Revenge is as prehistoric as life in the caves. Revenge is an act of retaliation for a perceived wrong or injury—payback time. I have been in contact with many spouses and ex-spouses of narcissists who were shocked by the unrelenting force of their former partner’s revenge tactics. During a divorce from a narcissistic partner, plans for revenge are hatched and played out. One classic ploy is the narcissist’s bullying tactics as he/she convincingly threatens to take you down financially and psychologically. Even after the divorce is final, the narcissist continues the Hundred Year War. Many narcissists cannot let go, not because they have ever loved their previous spouse, but for purposes of psychologically destroying the previous partner. Rumor campaigns are ignited to ruin the reputation and social standing of the previous spouse. Threats are made to change custodial agreements, not because the narcissist feels compelled to have more involvement in his children’s’ lives, but to shake the cage of the ex-spouse. One of the most potent ploys of the narcissist is playing the victim role. When he or she has torn his ex-spouse’s life to bits for decades, he makes a quick switch, becoming the recipient of psychological and emotional pain not the narcissistic perpetrator.

Understanding the Narcissistic Playbook and how to handle his/her “sweet revenge” tactics puts you in charge whether you are married to a narcissist, considering a divorce, in the divorce process or post divorce. Knowledge and insight into the narcissistic personality and developing strategies to combat their war games will empower your sense of confidence and impact positive outcomes in your life. Visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.,Telephone Consultation,Email: