Many mother-in-laws are kind, compassionate wonderful human beings. I am talking specifically about mother-in-laws who have narcissistic personality disorder. An overbearing narcissistic matriarch can wreak havoc in every aspect of your childrens’, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law and grandchildren lives. Narcissists are above all very controlling. Very clear psychological boundaries must be created in dealing with these individuals. They may dramatize, lie, try to sabotage members of her family who don’t go along with her iron will. What you don’t want to do is overreact to these individuals. Also it is essential that you is recognize how tyrannical and relentless these individuals can be. Be clear through your actions that you respect yourself. If the matriarch gets out of line, clearly and quietly use clear, measured communication in dealing with her. She expects to intimidate you and everyone else. In some cases she causes other family members to become a part of her narcissistic delusion. Remember that you are part of a family but ultimately a separate individual who deserves to be treated with respect and truthfulness. If the situation gets out of hand due to the narcissistic mother-in-law’s extreme encroachments on your privacy, sense of freedom and inner peace, it may be necessary to sever your relationship with this person. You know the truth about yourself and are keenly aware of the destructiveness of the narcissistic personality. If you are married to the son of the narcissistic matriarch it is part of his role as your spouse to make sure that you are treated with respect. You are married to him not his mother. It takes a strong sense of self to deal with these psychologically disruptive individuals. Stick to you principles, remain calm and psychologically detached. Trust your intuition. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life