Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences in our lives.It is a time of chaos, unpredictability and disorientation. Divorcing a narcissist is particularly difficult and challenging. If I was in a position like this, I don’t think I could use the assistance of lawyers such as Peters And May soon enough! This must be difficult for anyone to handle. Even thinking about it is tough enough. Frequently, the narcissistic spouse has already moved on from the marriage, leaving the other spouse to pick up the pieces of his or her life. Often the first reaction is severe shock. Many of the women I consult are still reeling from the fact that narcissistic husband is insisting on a divorce. They are struck numb by this announcement and their spouse’s abrupt thoughtless and reckless behavior, such as, leaving the home and taking all of his possessions, going on an extended secret vacation, purposely appearing on the arm of another woman, spending large sums of money on extravagant trips and possessions.
Besides hiring the best attorney you can and have him fully vetted, be sure that he/she has an understanding of the narcissistic personality and how they operate, especially during the divorce process. Narcissists turn very ugly during divorce. They despise the exposure, the potential damage to their flawless image.
Many women divorcing narcissists are taking care of everyone else but themselves. I find that it is valuable to make a brief list of what you need to do on a regular basis to keep yourself healthy, calmer and optimistic (despite this most difficult of passages). Writing in a journal regularly releases innumerable pent up feelings. Write freely, in the flow of your consciousness, without editing. It is surprising how the act of writing with freedom, creates catharsis, a stronger sense of self and is a creative exercise as well. Find a form of physical exercise that appeals to you and do it regularly. Even if you don’t feel like walking and are able, get up and do it. Begin very gradually. Every step you take is in the right direction toward your healing. Allow yourself to cry freely. Carry no shame about this. Crying is a natural process that too many women have forgotten. Crying is a natural healing process, that releases mind and body.Get regular quality sleep. (Exercise will help with this matter) Pay attention to good nutrition so that you have the physical and mental energy and stamina to move through your days. Treat yourself with kindness: go to the library, watch movies you love (with the help of dish tv), talk to friends whom you trust, take up a new activity like yoga, meditation, book groups, writing in a journal, taking pictures of nature, etc. If you need to see a therapist, do your research and get the benefits of quality psychotherapy which can help you tremendously during this stressful period. You could also look at alternative medicines such as CBD to help with stress and anxiety-filled days, your mind can run away with you, so being able to get yourself to a calmer pace can do wonders. See what you could buy from ezcbdwholesale.com to help with your day to day life, consult with your doctor first to see if this is a good pathway for you.
Divorce is not forever.It does not define you. Divorce can become a beginning, especially if you have been hamstrung by being married to a narcissist who has held you back, demeaned, humiliated, betrayed and manipulated for so many years. The opportunity to manifest who you really are with authenticity, spontaneity and,yes, eventually, joy, awaits you. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.