Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers–Treasure Your Intuitive Gifts

Intuition is a knowing of the truth that strikes faster than the speed of light. It comes through us automatically like the exhalation of a breath or the blowing of the wind or the crack of a branch of a tree in the forest. Intuition is part of our human nature although most people are unaware or not in touch with their intuition. Some individuals receive intuitive messages but discard them as irrational or strange.

I have known many daughters of narcissistic mothers who, despite all of the painful psychological and emotional issues associated with being the child of a narcissist, have access and use their intuitive gifts. For many it is what allowed them to survive a childhood of maternal deprivation and verbal abuse. Deep inside this small child knew that something was very wrong with her mother’s lack of feeling, cold non connection and cruel behaviors. Some of these daughters blame themselves and believe they are lacking when the psychopathology lies with the narcissistic mother.

Using one’s intuition is a gift that deepens and strengthens throughout life. Intuition communicates in a special form to each individual. Some of us get a gut feeling and know we have hit upon the truth. Others hear a voice that gives them messages of truth, warning, inspiration, creativity. Intuition can be activated by someone with whom we are strongly connected. Intuitions come through when we are in a peaceful state of relaxation, meditation or involved in a creative project. Intuitions are always coming through. They never stop making attempts to get our attention.

Intuition warns us about the narcissist we have just met. We sense this person and know instantly that he or she is not right for us. We feel the powerful sway of the narcissist’s irresistability like an errant tide that is pulling us out to sea. Yet there is a voice (nor our own) that is saying: “Stay away from this person. He/she will cause you pain and trouble. Step away now.”

Use your intuition to heal from your narcissistic mother. Intuition provides us with many ways of separating and individuating from the narcissistic non mother. Ask for healing and listen to the messages that lead you along a different path where you will find your true self more and more each day and through it deep inner peace and the use of your creative and spiritual gifts.

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

4 thoughts on “Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers–Treasure Your Intuitive Gifts”

  1. Comment:From Zoraida
    Every time I read one of your blog entries I feel you are talking directly to me. As an adult who at the moment is living with my mother and eldest half sister ; both are narcissistic, each day is a small challenge. I agree with you 100% that using my intuition is essential in the healing process. That is exactly why I have made the decision to move out as soon as possible. Keeping limited contact with both these women will allow me to live my life as I deserve.

  2. Comment:Jean
    Thank-You Linda for your support. Though your letters I have put my heart at peace and my trust in myself is solid.
    My mind can rest and enjoy the joy and happiness around me . Thank-You so very much.

  3. Comment:From ML
    I wasn’t listening to my intuition because I thought I was being judgmental and unfair. That thought process has gotten me into a lot of trouble. A lot of bad friendships and bad relationships. Never trusted or had faith in my ability to choose people with good character. I still don’t really have that ability. Every time I’ve gotten into these friendships or groupships, it was when I was lonely to the point of depression even when my intuition always told me to run. The weird part is my intuition didn’t let up. I always gave someone a chance (because that “not nice to judge” mentality), but after a couple to few times, I just had to listen and get out. I’d know it was time to leave because I would start feeling tired or fatigued around them. I would start feeling like my energy was being sucked right out of me. They would always be the ones talking or bragging or something expecting me to go “OH WOW, THAT”S AWESOME” but would not even take a minute to genuinely listen to me. I’d have to leave the friendship/relationship because I had no more energy to give them. I’m hoping I could get better at picking generally good people (maybe you could write about that?) but in the meantime, I’m going to try to tune into my intuition a bit more to avoid having my energy sucked out of me. Oh and I read your book a long time ago, it was really helpful. I was the scapegoat of the family. Narcissistic mother, sister, father, stepfather. Was always told I was too sensitive, and nothing I did was satisfactory. Mother/sister would gang up on me. Crazy thing is I could never treat my sister badly, I would cry when she would get a spanking. I helped my mom out of depression a couple times. Everyone has always sucked me dry of my positive, I hope some day to find someone/people who don’t want to do that. I can’t bank on it though. I’m already 43 and haven’t found them yet. So for now, my second half of life needs to be about me for a change. Thanks for reading 🙂

  4. Comment:From Laura
    I found a great way to continue to heal myself from my NM and equally sick siblings. My intuition said to do good for others, not my dysfunctional NM.
    My husband and I volunteered at Thanksgiving and Christmas Day to feed the indigent, elderly and homeless. Not only did it give the holidays more meaning, my self esteem soared, and my NM would not hinder my holiday spirit. I hate to bring her over our home for a night of drama and complaining. This was the best holiday season EVER for us. The gift of love is all we gave and received.

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