Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn early that something vital is missing from their lives. They may live in a household that appears to be normal. Everything is organized. The children are fed and kept safe. But where is the affection and warmth that they need so desperately from their mother. That is the missing piece that causes such horrible distress to each daughter of a narcissistic mother. In some instances the father is able to compensate for the mother’s lack of understanding and empathy. He is warm; he listens; he keeps his promises. He plays with his children and listens to them. Some daughters have aunts who take on the role of mother or even a grandmother or grandfather. There are some daughters who have to depend on themselves. Some of these children know very early that they must fend for themselves and they do this with great courage. This takes place against the barrage of criticisms, sarcastic remarks and dismissiveness of the narcissistic non-mother. These daughters become intellectually independent very young. Despite all of their efforts and accomplishments, the narcissistic mother wound is still there.
Adult daughters long to heal. In communications with some of these brave women I hear that they have taken their own pathway. Some have benefited from quality psychotherapy. Others find inner peace and a sense of belonging in a consistent practice of meditation. They discover that as the mind is quieted they get in touch with the deep inner loving part of themselves and feel their own warmth and compassion. This is a powerful process that transcends who we had as a mother or father. As meditation deepens as a practice it can become a pathway toward deep inner healing. Gentle hatha yoga is an excellent companion practice with meditation. Here the emphasis is on the breath. Focusing on the breath in the moment as each pose is done, quiets the nervous system, focuses the mind and gets you in touch with that serene vibration of love within you. After enduring all of these years full of pain and suffering, as well as having to deal with the constant effects and repercussions that this has caused, your mental well-being, and your outlook on life may have been significantly impacted. With the help of meditation in being able to quieten your mind in order to get to a better place, you will start to feel better. To further enhance your mind control and to relax into your meditation and yoga, you may decide to buy shrooms, (magic mushrooms), to utilize the calming effects that it has been known to bring to your everyday life. And once you have control over your mind, your qualities will soon shine again, such as your warmth and compassion. This is who you really are. Embrace yourself. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Widely distributed