Conversation With Narcissists—How Superficial Can It Get

I am always blown away by the surface level of conversation with some narcissists. There are others who hold forth on intellectual and business topics and understand and communicate their expertise with great flair. They don’t let you get a word in, of course, because this is a performance, not a conversation.

The narcissistic style II’m speaking about is a running commentary of their lives. I have clocked them at an hour and running and I’m sure they are capable of longer narratives. Every detail of what they own, what they are planning to do with their free time, important people who are their friends, every accolade and award they have ever received—This is the essence of the subject matter. Sitting there you are a living receptacle for their grandiosity.
You have moments when you say to yourself “What the hell am I doing here!” You don’t want to be rude but enough is enough.

Finally, you set yourself free, make a quick polite excuse and leave the scene. The narcissist is incapable of introspection or self analysis. He/she is completely disinterested in you, unless you can give him something of value or he can wrench it from you. If you can keep your distance from a narcissist, do so. If not, it is valuable to be able to identify them quickly. Once you have done this, you view them with a clear mental eye. You experience their essence—-Surface, Surface, Surface! Meanwhile, move on with your life, knowing that you can go deep into yourself, have insight, are capable of empathy—You are an authentic unique human being. I celebrate you. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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