Married to a narcissistic personality you are constantly questioning the truth of your perceptions. The narcissist is clever and cunning at putting you on the defensive with intricate games of blame and intimidation.
The narcissist, a master manipulator, takes control of your relationship with him/her. This person is always “playing you.” Although the narcissist is incapable of deep insights, he is keen in “reading” his partners – knowing about their wants, needs and desires. This is especially the case in the opening moves of the relationship. High level narcissists in particular engage in a game of romance. They “enchant” you with their hypnotic charm. It’s as if they are reading your mind.
You feel compelled to escape inside of the dream of being wanted, understood and valued. This is how the narcissist makes you feel during the early phases. Their power over the partner is particularly pronounced if they have chosen someone who has suffered from parental deprivation and abuse, treated as a child with neglect and coldness, feeling unwanted.
Coming across a prospective partner who is fascinated with you is irresistible. You feel pulled into the narcissist’s orbit. You have longed to have someone who focused their attention on to you in this magical way. The high level narcissist is “gifted” at the psychological and emotional seduction.
Time passes and the mask of the narcissistic partner slips; you are on the receiving end of the narcissist’s true self: brazen, boorish, blaming.
The narcissistic personality affects a brazen manner – an attitude of extreme shameless self-entitlement. The narcissist pulls the I’m superior act with you.
Another character trait appears: boorishness, a rude coarse quality and insensitivity to you as an individual.
The narcissist habitually shifts blame on to you when he is at fault and has caused you emotional pain. Narcissists never take responsibility for their multiple cruelties. They are incapable of empathy or a developed conscience.
Sharing your days with a narcissistic partner you are continually in a state of siege, the fight or flight mode. Here there is no respite, inner peace or refuge. You feel your essential physical and psychological energies ebbing. Your creativity slows and you notice that you are always struggling just to feel some comfort, respite, solitude, a place to put yourself: body, mind, heart, soul.
You are studying the true nature of the narcissistic personality. The puzzle pieces are coalescing. You have reached a point of clear insight; your priorities are shifting to where they belong: the care and evolution of your authentic self, the renewal of honoring yourself as a valuable unique individual.