Category: Narcissistic Personality

Narcissists are ravenous for new ideas and visions. If they can’t conjure up one themselves, they will steal yours. They become intrigued with you if you have talent. With their charm and believable facade they convince you that you are fated to become an integral part of their corporate team. .

They cascade you with compliments. They treat you like royalty. It is dizzying and most people are fooled by this full court charm and adoration offensive. You start to trust them and share you creative plans with them. They convince you there is no need for formal contracts. After all you are now close friends and confidants and can trust one another implicitly. Your designs, apps, book concepts, etc. are laid out in full detail. The project is moving forward. Then there are some glitches. You can’t get a hold of your friend and business partner. He has disappeared. Some time later you discover that your creative concepts have been commandeered and now have his label on them. You don’t have the funds to fight him legally.He has betrayed you. Despite the pain of all of this and the economic loss, remember you have a unique creativity that is boundless. The lesson here is to always protect yourself, especially when you are dealing with a narcissist. Your intuitions will keep messaging you about this person. Pay attention. Make sure everything is in writing. If you don’t have to do business with a narcissist, don’t. If it is necessary, protect yourself legally at every step of the way. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website: the narcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International

Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissistic husbands are masters at creating the image of the dutiful spouse. They are very convincing on the subject of loyalty to their spouses. The majority of narcissistic husbands stray all of the time. In fact they have multiple affairs going strong at any given time. Some are one night stands; others are mistresses that go in and out of their lives. There are special women that they can’t resist and keep as a sexual security blanket just in case they need to get through the night of their sexual desires. Men can often become infatuated with things that they’ve seen on websites similar to shemale hd, and will do anything to have their fantasies met. It is amazing how adept these fellows become at juggling many women. If they travel as a result of their business, the sky is the limit. One or two women a night is not unusual. Some professional men including narcissistic physicians, dentists, corporate leaders have ongoing affairs with their female patients. Sex in the office–no problem. Sounds like some hot videos online which he is probably watching at the same time. Tubev has everything the Internet has to offer and even more for examples. It’s after hours–why worry. There are many narcissistic physicians. Our society rewards them with big money, prestige, even worship. Obviously, there are incredibly fine physicians who are completely ethical and professional. I am not speaking about them.

If you think your narcissistic husband is playing around on you, why would you stay married. These days it is dangerous to your physical health. Think of the cascade of stds you can contract as a result of having sex with a husband who is having intimate relations with so many different women. When you have sex with this husband, you are having sex with every woman he has shagged. Not a pretty picture. Self-care is essential, in more ways than one, if you feel your husband is having affairs why not abstain from sex, go to this site or another adult video provider and start taking care of yourself. The next factor is your psychological and emotional health and what is the effect of this kind of marital arrangement on your children. Marriages with narcissistic men don’t work because these men are highly pathological and do not change.

Make a wise decision. Sever the relationship. Consider a formal separation and a divorce. This can be a difficult process. You are entitled to be married to someone who truly loves and protects you. Part of your healing can be facilitated by excellent psychotherapy. Be sure you interview several psychotherapists.

Get support from those you trust and can call upon at any time. There are many healing techniques like gentle yoga, meditation, and creative pursuits that can become an integral part of your healing. Be kind to yourself. Rediscover yourself sexually when you feel able too. Some consider watching girls get fucked bent over tables at sites like SexM.xxx to feel beautiful and desired which we all deserve to feel that way. Process how you need to process. Anyone can make the decision to marry a narcissist. They are slippery fellows, difficult to detect. Learn from this life experience and be grateful that you are taking assertive movement toward your personal evolution. Learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissists become more ruthless and self entitled as they continue to get away with more outrageous behaviors. In business they frequently violate ethical standards and the law. Their singular motivation is winning, whatever that means to them. No one is more up to this task than a successful narcissist in blood sport mode. At the top of their ruthless game, they have won countless battles, using the same tactics: intimidation, threats, manipulation, deception, outright lies, turning one party against the other. I am reminded of a very successful investors trust that purchased financially distressed companies. These were bottom feeders, who made the lowest offers to purchase from a desperate business owner. If it was a family owned business, the head narcissist of the firm would pit one sibling or parent against the other, offering side deals to anyone who would cave in to their demands. These individuals were ruthless with other prospective buyers, maliciously pushing them beyond reach. The CEO and CFO had a group of unscrupulous clever attorneys available to create a siege mentality and to back up the narcissists when they walked blithely over the legal line. Despite ethical and legal violations these narcissistic business people were so accustomed to prevailing, that no one could stop them.

Another egregious situation is that of a slumlord who preyed upon the working poor. He constantly jacked up the rents, failed to do essential repairs and threatened tenants who could not pay their rent the moment it was due. The tenants were at his mercy. The apartment owner was clearly violating the law, getting away with it and congratulating himself for effortlessly making large sums of passive income. .

One reason narcissists get away with these despicable behaviors is due to their hubris. The other is that most people are afraid to stand up to them. The current cultural climate tilts in favor of the narcissist’s excesses and flouting of ethics and the law, especially when the narcissist has become a media magnet. Many people positively identify with “success” regardless of how it is attained. Understanding more about the essence of the narcissistic personality, how he/she plays the game and what you can do to counteract his moves, visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D
Telephone Consultation
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

The grandiose narcissist stands at stage center on all occasions. If a party is being given in someone else’s honor, the narcissist will steal the show, making sure that he/she is noticed, applauded and praised by every guest. He goes through his current life rundown— recent business successes, excellent decisions that have put him on top, his adoring perfect family. I have heard narcissists speak about the special pedigree of their pets, which is always very rare and precious. God forbid that they would have a mutt or a shelter rescue pooch.

On the other end of the spectrum but possessing the same corrosive personality structure is the covert narcissist. The manner is often very polite and subdued. The covert narcissist is playing up your ego with a worshipful voice and endless compliments. They’re throwing you off the scent, disarming you. You can go several rounds with a covert narcissist without realizing who they are and what they want. Their pseudo humility and low key personality style is clever camouflage. If you are working with one of these disguised narcissists, beware of their cunning. As they play up to you and earn your trust, they are talking behind your back, spreading lies about your personal life and your professional shortcomings, so they can leave you in the dust when promotion time arrives. This often happens when men or women are competing for partners. A covert narcissist thinks nothing of gaining access to your husband or wife, making herself/himself irresistible and destroying your marriage and family. When you look back you recognize that this person was always playing a role. There was no exchange of empathy. These clever predators move in and out of our lives. The numbers of narcissists are growing within a society that rewards them so handsomely. In some venues if you are not ruthless and amoral, you can’t get ahead. The media and entertainment often applaud the narcissistic character, focusing their lenses on the perfection of the image rather than the solid individual who can be trusted, is honest about himself and who is deeply empathic. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

There is a term that describes certain kinds of individuals who are very successful in the world, have many admirers if not adorers, have access to social/business connections we might all envy whom I call bloodless sociopaths. I use this term because they are without conscience, completely lack empathy, are among the cruelest and sadistic human beings but literally don’t draw blood. They commit numerous crimes throughout their lives and don’t get caught. That’s how well they have mastered their act. Often they have a high intelligence quotient and have achieved superlative marks throughout their schooling. From the time they are very young these sociopaths know that they are superior to everyone, including their parents, that there isn’t anything they can’t do or have. The world and people in it exist to be manipulated by them.

With the narcissistic style taking over much of our world today and becoming fully acceptable—self absorption, obsession with appearance, being in the A list social circles, coldness and disdain for those outside of this magic bubble—it becomes easier for the sociopath to move in and out of business and social circles undetected as a dreadful human being. We have narcissistic sociopaths who run some of our prestigious corporations. We have some members of the branches of government who fit this definition. When you look at some of the dirty deal making that takes place, the rip-offs of those who are without power or money, and the pure greed involved you find that many in the corporate, entrepreneurial, entertainment, media and government that fit this definition. No one wants to talk about sociopaths in high places. Most people have a problem believing that a person with such prestige and power who is given the highest respect and deference and even lionized could be so predatory.

Their family members may not be aware of their levels of criminality. They have become so deluded and accustomed to leading privileged lives that they close their eyes to anything that disrupts the perfect insular world they have created. There are plenty of spouses and children of narcissistic sociopaths who will tell you horror stories about their private lives. Family members describe themselves as prisoners, unable to make their own decisions, forced to follow their parent(s) commands to the letter. They view ugly violent scenes between their parents that are re-enacted frequently and put them in a chronic state of anxiety and apprehension. Spouses who willfully stay married to these reprehensible individuals put the lives of their children in psychological and emotional jeopardy. If you are the spouse of one of these individuals and finally recognize all of the damage that has been done, wake up and prepare to sever these pathological relationships if not for yourself for your children.

Narcissism and sociopathy in its bloodless form are becoming more acceptable in the society at large. You don’t notice many high level narcissists doing perp walks or losing court cases when they are clearly guilty or going out of business because they have been defrauding their business partners and clients for years.

To protect yourself, study the narcissistic personality disorder and the narcissistic sociopath so that you recognize them quickly and know exactly how they operate. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, numerous online bookstores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

There is a plethora of spiritual teachers who are profiting from the psychological and emotional suffering of vulnerable human beings. This brand of narcissism has a long sleazy history. The difference today is in the enormous reach that these individuals have, worldwide due to the global media. Many narcissistic teachers are well educated and articulate with their subject. Their audiences often are quite sophisticated. Many of these teachers take their source material from ancient texts and oral traditions, reiterate the salient ideas from the original and re-label them to package a product that is their brand. Spirituality in the hands of narcissistic teachers is a product, a business, not a study in higher consciousness or the alleviation of suffering.

I am aware of the psychological damage the narcissistic teacher can wreak on the spouses and ex-spouses of narcissists. Individuals who have already been burned in marriages to toxic narcissists find themselves unwittingly seeking help from the same kind of personality disorder who has inflicted great emotional harm upon them. Feeling desperate and alone, some ex-spouses pay large sums of money (they cannot afford) to attend ongoing seminars and workshops offered by unscrupulous teachers. Some vulnerable students cling to narcissistic spiritual teachers, in the empty belief that they will be finally be healed.

Those who are experiencing the psychological pain of moving through the process of separation and divorce from a narcissist must learn to protect themselves from this kind of exploitation. “True spirituality is the opposite of narcissism. Its purpose is to work through layers of delusion to the truth. An authentic spiritual person comes without fanfare; he is not waiting for the next closeup, speaking fee, or autograph…The true guru is humble…attached neither to making large sums of money nor becoming famous and powerful in the world.”

You can heal and grow after a divorce or breakup. In fact, you can renew your life. It takes hard work, belief in yourself, strong solid support, for some-psychotherapy, and if you decide–a spiritual path that you alone choose. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinnyourlife.com

You have been suffering from breaking up and going back with your narcissistic ex for years. You know the pattern. You don’t him see or hear from him in several months after one of your many partings. He calls; you are hooked again. I communicate with a number of women who are trapped in this repetitious pattern. Many of them have been married to narcissists. Each time they resume the relationship, they believe that this time it is all going to work. Narcissists are not capable of loving or being loyal with other human beings. They have a serious personality that is not going to change. They are false selves, often with an irresistible facade. Most people fall for this and believe that the persona is the real person. This is not the case.

Instead of repeating a psychological pattern that is harmful to you, use your intuition—listen to this voice of wisdom within you—. When the narcissist makes contact or you feel the need to call, email or text him, listen to your intuition say no. Intuitive messages move through us very quickly. We learn to be attuned to them. This is a great gift. The more consistently you use intuition the more finely tuned it becomes. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

There is a common thread that runs through many marriages to narcissists, especially when rumblings of a divorce are in the air. Before the lightening strikes it is not unusual for the narcissistic spouse to have taken all of the joint assets and whisked them away. The other partner is shocked that the narcissistic husband/wife claims that he doesn’t have any money. The non-narcissistic spouse on the other end of this dreadful dilemma is left with confusion and anxiety. The spouse who has cunningly spirited away the financial assets is a master of control who knows where every penny is. This, despite the fact that he/she may be making a huge amount of money. Narcissists love to brag about their wealth but when it comes down to sharing it, forget it. They dole out small sums of money to the spouse, telling them how lucky they are to be leading such a fine lifestyle. They complain if you spend even a few dollars over what you are “allotted.” Some narcissistic spouses will tell their wives that they will just have to sacrifice because times are rough. Meanwhile, the narcissistic spouse is indulging himself in every way–the more the better. Narcissists are chronic liars and betrayers—This is immutable. You cannot change these characteristics and don’t try to discuss these matters with them. They will go into projection mode and blame everything on you. Every horrible thing that ever happened to them is your fault. You don’t want to stir this up. You might not even need to stir–narcissists are projecting their venom all of the time.

Besides the financial matters, the narcissist is psychologically and emotionally eclipsing your life. With constant irrational demands, volcanic rages, criticisms that cut you to the quick and phoney crying jags–why would you waste the rest of your life with this person. Your vitality is sapped; your creative gifts are lying fallow; your sleep is disrupted. You have no inner peace.

If you decide the marriage is no longer working with the narcissist (and they don’t) create your own plan well in advance of any statements about a separation or a divorce. Make sure that you have access to all of the information about your shared finances. I have heard too many times about women in particular that have been married to a narcissistic man for decades and who didn’t know how much money was coming in from her spouse’s wages, investment or properties. Many women are financially independent today and that is terrific. And this could be because of so many reasons. A good job with a good salary, deciding to put some money aside into a separate account each month, perhaps researching life expectancy in the US or wherever they live and then investing in life insurance accordingly, or through any investment opportunities they have on their own. It’s not unusual for more people to consider the latter idea when they want to increase their income, as over bei capital.com (at capital.com), you can see how you can buy currency or shares and trade them as and when you please. By doing this, you will find that your financial situation improves, leaving you with enough money to become financially independent. But in so many instances I hear very sad stories about women who are left with no means of support. They have a few rough choices. They can remain in the hellish marriage to the narcissist or they can leave with a paltry sum of money and start all over. Many of these women are well up in age and it would be very difficult for them to find a job that will sustain them. Be wise. Beat the narcissistic spouse at his/her own game. When you have hints or intuitions that the marriage is going south, start doing your research into the finances. Before that make sure that you have as much access to community property as your narcissistic spouse. Narcissists are cunning; they can “smell” divorce papers coming. So be clever, wake up, create your plan of action in detail. Talk with an expert attorney who knows how these conniving individuals operate and how divorce law works. Become highly informed. This way you have an edge on this man or woman who will leave you (and your children) with nothing as he moves on to his next big business deal and another woman (or man) whom he will engage in the same treacherous dance.

Recognize your value as an individual. Keep yourself healthy–physically, psychologically and emotionally. Don’t wait for the narcissist to change. That is not going to happen—ever. These folks are great actors and they are clever at drawing you back in. Don’t buy it. Once you know who the narcissist is, decide if you can tolerate sharing your life with this person or if it is time for you to make the move to sever the so-called partnership. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Po

When you work for a narcissist, your life is taken over by his/her psychopathology. He demands your attention and full sprinted effort 24/7. He expects total loyalty to him but is very disloyal. The narcissist coldly uses those who work for him. Develop a deep understanding of the narcissistic personality disorder, maintain your psychological boundaries and learn not to overreact to his tantrums and extreme grandiosity. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Today we are surrounded by narcissists–in the media, entertainment, among our neighbors, acquaintances, in medicine, in psychiatry and psychology, in “spirituality”, the culture of many corporations. In the years since Christopher Lasch wrote his brilliant prescient work The Culture of Narcissism (1978) we are experiencing his predictions. We have arrived—-in the Narcissistic Culture. Long ago Lasch knew what would happen to many “relationships” –“Personal relations founded on reflected glory, on the need to admire and be admired, prove fleeting and insubstantial.” The narcissist demands that you are a mirror of his or her perfection. Many people follow the narcissist’s lead because he is holding the power, the force of personality, the delusion that you can become as overly confident, self entitled, as deceptive and exploitive as this person. We discover today that so much of career climbing to the top is based on being ruthless and amoral. This is becoming more the rule than the exception. “Work hard and play by the rules”—Really??? That doesn’t fit with the narcissistic style. In so many corporate venues it is those who are very attractive physically if not drop dead gorgeous–male and female, combined with blind ambition and a willingness to let others falter and fall by the wayside, who reach the highest positions within a corporate structure. These individuals operate without conscience. If someone doesn’t fit into their singular plan of victory, the narcissist will do everything possible to kick this person out of the way, even if this causes horrible distress and financial instability to them—They say to themselves: “You are weak and worthless; get out of my way. I have no obstacles, boundaries or limits. Get between me and my goal and I will annihilate you.” There are still extraordinary corporations and the people in all levels who work for them who have outstanding characters and who still work very hard and maintain the highest level of conscience and concern for the welfare of others.

On a personal level narcissists within the family–spouses, ex-spouses, mothers, fathers, siblings–are making the lives of family members miserable, unbearable and bleak. I hear many life stories of those who were trapped in a narcissistic family and who had to survive by going along with the perfect mirroring , criticisms, intimidations and complete injustice of their situations. They have suffered greatly. I don’t think that most people understand, unless they have experienced the malicious face of a mother or father narcissist, know what this does to a child every single day. Know that these cruelties exist and that they are malevolent and in some cases, evil. That is not too strong of a word to describe the psychological damage sustained by many children raised by a narcissistic parent or a narcissistically abused spouse or sibling. These victims are telling the exact truth. Believe them.

Human nature is both sublime and very dark. Narcissists dwell within the prisons of their own psychopathology and that is a tragedy. But the damage that they do to others is incalculable. Study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Understand who this person is. Forget the external image–it is fleeting and meaningless. This is the world’s superficial appraisal. It is part of the delusion that has become even more prevalent than at any other time in recent western history. Facade has now become reality–That’s what we are being told constantly.

Pay attention to what is deep inside of you–your intuitions and insights that come quickly with the truth. When you call upon these gifts, you cannot be compromised or vanquished. You are riding with the truth throughout your life, gaining strength, psychological stamina, spiritual steadiness and laser focus. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com