The Covert Narcissist has become one of the most prominent corrosive individuals of our current society. Wearing clever masks of disguise, the covert narcissist fools almost everyone. The covert conceals his true self, often appearing to be humble and self effacing.
An extreme example of the covert narcissist is the Jekyll Hyde manifestation. In the story by Robert Lewis Stevenson, Dr. Jekyll is experimenting with a potion that transforms him into a dark monstrous figure called Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde is vile, enraged, out of control and conscienceless.
Some individuals are married to a Jekyll Hyde version of the covert narcissist. In public this person effects a very convincing Dr. Jekyll – quiet charm, congenial, friendly, helpful, trustworthy, honest. This is the public face of the covert narcissist. Behind closed doors in the privacy of the family home, Mr. Hyde appears in full. With constant ugly primitive projections of volcanic rage, humiliations, withering criticisms, the covert narcissist creates a horrendous, nightmarish environment for his spouse.
The partner or spouse of the covert narcissist survives in a state of constant psychological and emotional siege. Each moment this individual is at the mercy of the flight or fight mode – hyper -vigilant, sleepless, weary and wary. For them there is no rest or letting down. Being married to a covert Jekyll Hyde narcissist is exceedingly stressful.
When you are married to a Jekyll Hyde covert narcissist you are always on the defensive, wondering who will appear in the next moment: the calm, bright, affable Dr. Jekyll or the grotesque, vile, raging ogre – Mr. Hyde.
There is an accumulation of chronic stress, exhaustion and extreme duress that leads you to a point of decision to divorce the covert narcissist – to free yourself from this daily psychological and emotional oppression.
By making this decision you are putting yourself first, moving forward to individuate from this pathological non-marriage. Divorcing a covert narcissist is not easy. It is a long tough journey. However, there are many individuals who have successfully freed themselves from these non-marriages.
You are up to the task of moving forward as a unique, persevering, strong, resilient individual to claim your independence from this form of cruelty and oppression.
As you move forward in this process of individuation you are freed to enjoy the full use of all of your creative gifts. You are striding along the pathways of the true, authentic original self.