The narcissist is an incomplete human being. He/she lives as a false self that is grandiose, extremely self entitled,deceptive and exploitive. Narcissists are deluded all of their lives and they cannot change. The narcissistic society rewards narcissists, especially those who are at high levels of power. Narcissistic elites rule by intimidation, social and business connections their extensive influence and their monetary power. Narcissist and ruthless have become synonymous terms.
Conscience, the capacity to distinguish what is right and wrong and to experience guilt when we have done harm to another is absent in the narcissist. These individuals do everything in their power not to get caught in their unethical and illegal deeds. Lack of conscience makes the narcissist’s movement toward his goals much easier. He/she doesn’t have to be concerned about the devastating effects of his misdeeds upon others. This includes family members: siblings, spouses, ex-spouses,children.
The narcissist lacks insight–the ability to examine and understand one’s inner mental process as well as the perception of others. Narcissists are incapable of introspection and lack insight. They live from an external perspective. Their image, the persona they project to the world, how much money they have accumulated, the power they wield over others—-these are their life priorities.
Above all the narcissist lacks compassion: “Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.” Narcissists have no compassion for their own children. Why would they care about any one else? They are consistently callous. There are exceptions when they are in the process of charming someone new in order to obtain power and control over a chosen victim. The spoils of these plots include monetary compensation as well as narcissistic supplies—praise and adulation.
One message I want to convey is that as much as you yearn for the narcissist to become compassionate, have a conscience and obtain insight–this is not going to happen, ever. The narcissist has a fixed personality disorder that formed early in childhood. The narcissist has no reason to change especially in this new age of narcissism which much of the population is striving to imitate.
You are a valuable unique individual. Follow your own path—forget what “society” is saying. What matters is the insights you are having every day. Keep faith with your self. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life