Before you find yourself romantically obsessed with another narcissistic man, think clearly and review the pathological character traits of these irresistible charmers. Beneath the smile, the eyes that never stop glancing at you, that rivet you with their allure, the seductively clever talk that stirs all your senses— remind yourself that deep inside the narcissist is psychologically running on empty. His internal world is bleak and he is filled with self loathing. He is not capable forming true intimate reciprocal relationships.
The narcissist lives to fulfill his wishes and desires. If you fit his plan he might choose you to play a role in his life. Narcissists are incapable of loyalty so they are unable to make a genuine commitment to another human being. He is a chronic convincing liar who is so good at perfidy that he has many women believing him. That’s how fine a method actor he is.
Grandiose narcissists love to create drama and excitement. This keeps their egos inflated. Their extreme sense of self entitlement soars. They make promises to you and spin tales that are hypnotic.
This time you will not be ensnared because you are highly informed about the true nature of the narcissist and have learned from your previous emotionally painful life experiences. During this process, practice self care. By this I mean learn to respect yourself and your own sense of entitlement to be treated as a worthy person of integrity who deserves respect. Developing a routine that makes yor stronger physically (through a form of exercise that you enjoy) and psychologically grounded will help you immeasurably to see right through a narcissistic man who begins to make overtures to you. You will recognize the verbal and nonverbal signals that tell you that this fellow is trouble. Detach yourself from the external image and watch carefully. Expand your powers of observation and objectivity. You will be surprised at how accurately you make the appraisal that this man is a narcissistic personality disorder. You will be able to say “No” to him with certainty and grace. Give yourself a lot of credit for changing this previous pattern of being taken in by these infantile, self absorbed men that do not and never will have one of the greatest human traits—Empathy. This is the jewel in the crown of character traits. You now know that it is worth aligning yourself with those who are capable of compassion, genuineness, warmth, humor and who and who recognize you as a unique individual with whom they want to share their true selves.
Linda Martinez-Lewi,,Ph.D.