Protecting Yourself from Irresistible Narcissists

When a very handsome man or woman walks into a room, heads still turn. Image matters too much. But it is palpable and effects our psychophysiological reactions. If this person is a narcissist the magnetic pull is so great that we keep looking at this person, hoping we will be chosen. In addition if he is highly successful with full command of himself, we are drawn with an increasing pull. This is all part of being human. Beauty and extraordinary handsomeness pull us strongly. Don’t be surprised when you r–aleact this way. Don’t blame yourself. But learn how to identify who this person really is—Could he be a narcissistic personality. I know of individuals who have been drawn into relationships with narcissists too many times to count. They have suffered immeasurably but they continue their cycle of pain.

Each narcissist has his own style–a label, a patina, an imprint. The grandiose very successful narcissist is extroverted, fully confident. He knows how you are reacting to him and continues his penetrating looks at you. He verbally and nonverbally tells you he wants you. He makes promises that you believe. He casts his spell and you feel drawn in as if you are in a light trance or slightly tipsy. It is so easy to leave that part of you that cautions: “No” “Wait” until you know this person better. Be aware of how you react to these individuals and become savvy about your vulnerabilities. Learn to step back, do your research on the classic narcissist.

The narcissistic personality has become ubiquitous in our current society—almost the norm in some circles. Beneath it all the narcissist is a sham, a fraud, a false self. You are genuine and have real feelings. The narcissist is a fine actor that knows how to imitate feelings. The only feelings he has are those of his perfection, superiority and extreme self entitlement. The time always comes when the narcissist shows his shadow side, that part of him that is filled with volcanic rage, tells as easily as he breathes, demeans and humiliate others (that will eventually include you) and takes everything for himself and without conscience, never looks back.

Become very familiar with this personality. It is worth all of the research. You will avoid a lot of emotional and psychological pain. Learn to appreciate who you are—your empathy, creative gifts, your kindness and tenderness, the long road you have travelled to seek the truth. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life