When you are married to a narcissist you are subject to the whip lashing mood swings. One moment they are manically high on their grand new vision that will bring outlandish success. The next moment they are verbally striking you in the gut. Restless, ruthless, completely self absorbed, the narcissist is taking you along for the ride while you suit his needs. When you cease to inflate his enormous ego, serve him in every way that he demands and swallow his abuse, he will dispose of you and find others who will better fulfill your role. No spouse is indispensable. Narcissists often choose a man or a woman as a partner because he/she has the right social/business connections, family background and large monetary and property assets.
The narcissistic spouse can be highly secretive.The narcissist is always in a state of psychological regression despite his professional or work achievements. Deep within he/she is very infantile. The narcissistic psychic structure is fixed and unchangeable. This individual is psychologically regressed at the developmental age of two or even younger. The psychic structure of the real self has been severely damaged and overwhelmed by a false self that creates the illusion of grandeur and superiority. Essential to the NPD is the external image that he assiduously crafts and maintains. As his spouse you are the victim of a highly regressed damaged real self full of rage and secret paranoia. You continue to be psychologically injured by your narcissistic spouse through non stop verbal battering, gaslighting, lies and deception.
How long do you deserve to be treated like this? How much more can you take? Is he/she making you feel physically ill? Are you waking up in the middle of the night with a pounding heart? With rage? With terror?
How long will you tolerate the horrific effects this treatment has on your nervous system, immune system, quality of life? It is time to say No to him/her–Yes to Yourself.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
3 thoughts on “Pathological Regressions of Narcissistic Spouse Pull You Down”
Comment: From J.Renee
While I do not have a narcissistic spouse, both my spouse and I grew up each with a narcissistic parent. What you describe above rings true of one parent. As the family’s estate planning has co-mingled our finances together in ways that, I now see, would only be accomplished by an enabler accountant, the craziness affects our lives and our earnings and our financial well-being. If I had understood his personality type more clearly 10 years ago, I never would have let him step near our finances. As a young woman who entered this family 32 years ago, I wish I had believed in my own intuition enough to stay far away from my father-in-law. He’s crazy!
Unbelievable. I have received a miracle. I just left a significant other who was from hell. He is a classic narcissistic personality, and without his MD license he is a psychopathic criminal. When I left he unleashed his fury upon me. After 2 years of serving him and his needs I AM FREE and my depression is lifting. it is true what they say about the narcissist having several relationships. My sig other is 62 and he was sleeping with a 26yo female. He has children that are 17 and 18, but of course, like him they are also narcissistic and very damaged. It is a real feeling to realize that I will never see or hear from him again, and thank God I won’t. I cannot take the life sucking actions that have occurred and no one or nothing will be able to break this man except prison. He has 2 bankruptcies, 4 ex wives, and owes more than $800,000.00 in taxes. He used my name to write prescriptions for his own drug use and abuse along with 5 other women. I hired an attorney to protect myself from him. These people are dangerous, and my NPD doctor is, I hope he rots in a NM jail!!!
The article implies a narcissistic spouse is a husband.
I preferred using he/she, his/her, etc.
Comments are closed.