You might think that this theme is taken directly from a British turn of the century novel. It is both classic and tragic. A scheming family member takes control of the family estate through the psychological manipulation of the parent, acquires executorship and as a consequence his/her siblings are left with nothing but emotional pain, deep resentments and a bitter taste of betrayal. Narcissists have been stealing family fortunes for thousands of years and they continue this form of treachery to this day.
Often a favored narcissistic child engages is a special kind of subterfuge with the parent who views him as perfect and godlike. This child proves to be indispensable to the parent—priceless. As an adult the narcissist begins a complex series of schemes and maneuvers to convince the adoring parent that he is the only responsible and fair one among his siblings to execute the family estate after the parent is deceased. The narcissistic adult child plays into the grandiose fantasies of superiority and brilliance that the mother/father and child mutually share. The narcissist convinces his parent that all of the other siblings either cannot be trusted with large sums of money, are unsophisticated about investments and ignorant or that they are disinterested in the finance realm and would create a failed economic outcome for all the children. The narcissist works with stealth to obtain the role of executor. He assures and convinces the other family members that the disbursement of the inheritance will be absolutely fair. When the occasion arises after the death of the last surviving parent for the inheritance to be distributed, it has already been spirited away to an unreachable haven by the narcissist. In another scenario the narcissistic parent is pressured and psychologically seduced into giving the entire inheritance to the narcissistic golden child, leaving only dregs to the remaining siblings. The conniving is done over many years in secret and stealth.
The finale for the non narcissistic siblings is psychologically devastating. The narcissist often takes a flyer, even to a foreign country where he/she lives a life of monetary self indulgence. For the narcissist, there are no regrets or pulls of conscience. After all, he deserves this fortune. It was the fruit of many years of labor, convincing the parent that he/she was entitled to everything. It was his due,his birthright. Developing a deeper understanding of the ruthlessness and treachery of the narcissistic personalities in your life, including family members, will provide you with the knowledge to protect yourself and to prevail with these complex and voracious individuals. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.