One of the repetitive themes that runs through the cycle of abuse with the narcissistic spouse is: “I have changed. I want you back. I am a different person now.” This works very well for many narcissists. They are such brilliant method actors that the abused spouse believes them. She has been waiting to hear these words for years. She wants to believe that this man has transformed himself. She still loves this husband who has abused her for years. She takes him back and soon discovers that he has returned to get something that he wants. In some cases it is a financial ruse. He knows that you have been very successful at your career or business and he has come to take you for every financial asset you have. Another reason is that he doesn’t want to go through a divorce because in the agreement he will lose too much of his monetary worth. He would much rather have a pretend marriage with you as the official spouse that leaves him lots of opportunities for his affairs. He needs the image of the perfect marriage and family. Beneath the surface he is still leading a secret life.
Narcissistic personalities do not change. This is a fixed characterlogical disorder. Narcissists believe they are perfect. Don’t let the narcissistic spouse back into your life. You don’t deserve this abuse and exploitation. Free yourself. You will find your own way. You will use your creative gifts. Your energy and emotional and psychological health will be restored. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life