Narcissists beneath it all are cowards and phonies. Despite their psychological shallowness they perpetrate tremendous damage on other human beings—emotional, financial, mental. Pernicious lying, deceptions and manipulations are part of their psychological dna. For most narcissists their image is uppermost in their minds at all times. How they appear to others, how many followers they are accumulating, how much praise and adulation they are receiving and how wonderful people believe they are—these are their touchstones. I have communicated with many of those who were married to narcissists who were stunned by their partner’s ability to maintain a pristine public image while privately causing severe trauma, emotional distress and even terror to members of his/her family, business partners, etc.
Narcissists who succeed in the world preserve their pristine images by having favored members of their tight inner circle do their dirty work. Whether it is bringing down a business competitor by stealth and intimidation, using corps of attorneys to break down a former spouse who is asking for child support and custody arrangements, narcissists find the best follower, the most devoted—to carry out their malicious goals. I have had contact with many of their victims, especially their discarded and broken spouses, partners and children. The damage that they do is immeasurable. Part of the insidious problem is that the current culture rewards narcissistic behaviors–“I’ve got mine; the hell with you.” The narcissistic style of acting superior, being over-entitled and a laser focus on outward appearance and “image” has become pervasive in many stratas of our culture today.
Those who have survived the narcissist and are prevailing by moving forward with their lives despite all of the pain they are suffered, deserve our deep respect and empathy. These individuals are real. They come without facade, artifice or hidden agendas. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
One thought on “Narcissists-Making Others Do Their Dirty Work”
Hi my name is Margie I came across your blog and I am very happy I did. I am a victim of a Narcissists my sister is one. She has been abusing me all my life and still torturing me. She has both my Dad and Daughter saying stuff to me. I had friends who I found out through Facebook that were Never my real true friends. My so-called sister is friends with everyone who has messed with me in my life. I had it with being stopped from doing what I was set out to do in my life. I had opportunity’s in my life and she stopped my Dad from letting my dreams come true. Honestly it’s too late for a lot of the opportunity’s I was going for. I hoped and wished I could get thinga done but every time I go do something I get stopped. I’m unable to pursue anything. I feel like a failure. My head is all messed up. Whenever anyone sees me Happy I get pulled down. I recently lost my job 2 months ago and getting blackballed from getting jobs. I feel my sister finds out where I work and calls my boss and has co-workers mess with me. She always did that to me. She was always asking my daughter where I work and I have a feeling she told her and now I’m out of work. I truly hate people. I’m sorry to say they’re times I want to end my life then I remember the people who were in my life who were there for me and I keep my head up. I’m not going to do anything stupid because I have two best friends who know what she has done to me and are here for me. I need to heal from the pain she has caused me. I went from 120lbs to 200lbs I only lost 50lbs and my Doctor wants me to lose weight but I have no motivation to exercise. I have a stepper, air walker, & a stationary bicycle and I have no motivation to exercise. I get frequent headaches and I get sick. Yes, I have diabetes fron all the stress I have been through in my life. When I do go to exercise I have to go in the basement I get put down for doing exercise too. I don’t know what to do. I need a job to pay my bills and I get blackballed I don’t know what to do. Would you be able to help me? I would appreciate it very much Thank You Margie
Comments are closed.