Each person deserves a sense of respect and psychological protection. This inner feeling of entitlement begins when we are very young and stems from how we are treated by our parents. If we are loved as a valuable unique human being, we begin as little children to internalize these positive feelings about ourselves. At the same times good parents teach their children by example and learning to respect them and other human beings. In many instances parents are insensitive and abusive, treating their children as extensions of their needs and desires. Narcissistic parents make little kings and queens out of the their children to make up for their own psychological deficiencies.
The narcissist grows up believing that he or she is superior and perfect. His understanding from childhood is that other people are at his disposal. They are his possessions, existing to serve him. He or she has no sense of boundaries or limits. He respects no one; he exploits everyone, even spouses and children.
A specific example of this kind of boundary issue is the narcissist’s sense of linear time. There’s an old song which begins: “Your time is my time and my time is your time…” For the narcissist your time is always his/her time.Some narcissists are night people and will call you at 2 in the morning because they have a brilliant idea and must share it with you immediately. The narcissist must be in control of others or he won’t play. Narcissists discard people who don’t fulfill their needs and whims of the moment, then seduce them back into their lives to exploit them once more. Narcissists show no boundaries when they steal your creative ideas and give you no credit in return.
Learn to draw your own psychological boundaries clearly. Activate a healthy sense of self entitlement so a narcissist or any other predatory human being can never cross that line again. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.