Narcissists Hold Spouses Psychologically Hostage

“Casting one’s lot with a narcissist means that your life no longer belongs to you. Your mental freedom and psychological space are invaded…The narcissist creates an unbroken fusion with his intimates, treating them like the intricately woven fabric of his own personality.” (From: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, p. 160) Since the narcissistic is incapable of emotional intimacy, he/she cannot form close relationship, especially as a spouse or parent. The narcissist believes that his spouse is a living possession who belongs to him and must follow the script he has written. Your perspective, regardless of how well informed and intelligent, is of no value to the narcissist. These severe personalities rule by intimidation and intimidation.

Those who grew up in a narcissistic family are particularly vulnerable to marry a narcissistic partner. Repeating this pathological pattern is not unusual. These children are familiar with this kind of treatment although it was highly abusive. Sons and daughters struggle with a sense of unworthiness. Narcissistic parents overwhelm their children.

There are exceptions. Some spouses wake up and recognize that they have been psychologically imprisoned by their husband or wife. After decades of abuse, neglect, betrayals and chronic lying, they make the decision for psychological freedom. No longer will they be screamed at constantly, humiliated for voicing their opinion. Instead they will take creative initiatives to fulfill their personal destiny, growing as a strong solid self with a sense of inner peace and optimism. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life