Narcissists Expect Perfection—From You

Narcissists are often obsessed with the perfection of the externals–how they look, what they wear, their eternal youth, flawless skin, no errant hair on the brows, sparkling teeth that startle the eye, perfect bodies, no wrinkles. However, caring for your teeth isn’t a trait exclusive to narcissists, we should all try to maintain good dental health and attend routine checkups with our Dentist Syracuse. When they walk in a room at a party they quickly survey the scene and know that they are the most beautiful or handsome person in the room. They are thrilled from head to toe, manic over their flawlessness. They go from person to person–exhibiting how lovely they are. They’ve got it all and they are advertising it to the hilt.

There are narcissists who are obsessed with their work perfection. Many of them do perform at a very high level. Others are delusional and believe that they are perfect. They are known for delegating to others and expecting them to do all the hard work. When a project is completed the slave laborer–sometimes a spouse–is berated and criticized even if the product is superior. Their open mouthed screams can be heard down long hallways. They pick at you, like a vulture on a dead carcass. The problem is that you are alive—your adrenal glands are pouring out nor epinephrine, your intestinal tract is roiling, you have to go to the bathroom because you feel like throwing up, you cry and can’t stop–Your tears make the narcissist livid and he/she turns up the volume and may even push you around–literally. You are a living slave to a narcissistic ego. How much more will you take? What are your options? How can you free yourself? You don’t deserve to be treated this way. You need to learn to respect yourself. This is severe verbal and in some cases physical abuse. When the time of reckoning comes, many partners of narcissists take the step to separate from this horrendous way of life and leave the narcissists. There are many life stories of successful flights to freedom.

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
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Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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