Narcissistic Spouse Gets His Way

High functioning narcissists are exceedingly charming, even electrifying. Their persona of magnetic confidence is hypnotic. If they wield a lot of power in the world, those who work for them treat the narcissist like a superior human being. There isn’t anything a narcissist will not do for someone who will fulfill his/her needs and desires, providing them with a valuable return for their efforts: a lucrative business partnership, a new exciting romantic/ sexual arrangement, phenomenal adulation and praise.

Narcissists have loyalty to no one. A spouse of thirty years is dirt under their feet if he or she decides not to continue the adoration and adulation act. Even when small children are involved, a narcissist will abandon them and leave his wife without financial support with no qualms because he moved into another cycle of life with someone else who will bend completely to his will. This “my way or the highway” approach actually works with some spouses for decades. The embattled spouse becomes ill, lives with insomnia, chronic apprehension and anxiety, the narcissist’s screaming fits, not so secret affairs, constant lies and deceptions. Some spouses are willing to pay the highest price of all to stay with their narcissist. The highest price: their lives!

Other partners decide that they have had enough. They know that the marriage was over a decade ago. They have been planning to leave. Finally, with gathering strength and resolve they take the affirmative steps to sever this toxic relationship. They feel deserving of being the author and director of their own lives. They move forward with firm resolve and a sense of entitlement they are experiencing for the first time. Visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
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