Narcissistic Older Sisters Rule the Household

One of the most pathological family constellations is one in which the narcissistic mother chooses one daughter as the perfect reflection of herself. From the beginning this daughter is given permission, even encouraged to take complete control over her brothers and sisters. This often includes treating them brutally both in front of the narcissistic mother and in secret. The siblings are traumatized from the time they are infants. She terrorizes them into submission. They will do and say whatever she demands. It gets to a point where her father is intimidated by her and in some cases he leaves the household permanently because he is psychologically weak and cannot deal with the situation any longer. He abandons his children to the sadistic cruelties of the narcissistic mother and in particular the demonic older narcissistic sister. Some of the victimized siblings develop post traumatic stress syndrome—they have been living in a gulag all of their lives.

Some children find a way out. They stay with friends. In some cases they are informally adopted by family members or parents of friends.They spend most of their time out of the line of fire.

This evil drama does not end when the narcissistic older sister grows up. She continues to taunt her siblings with constant put downs, searing criticisms and malicious lies and betrayals. If she can find a way to destroy one of her brother or sisters,she will. Although this narcissistic sister was given everything she wanted and more,she is always in a state of rage. Unconsciously, she despises herself and projects these feelings on to her siblings. If financial assets are substantial the narcissistic older sister will convince her “dear” aging narcissistic mother that should take over all of the decisions with regard to properties, investments, trusts and cash. This narcissistic daughter knows just how to ply her mother with the compliments, favors and promises to masterfully take complete charge of her financial decisions. Naturally, the mother lode of assets goes to the narcissistic older daughter. The other children are left with nothing and completely in the dark.

These scenarios are more common than you might think.

To lead the life you deserve and activate your boundless creativity,sever your relationship with narcissistic members.To learn about the NPD in-depth, visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
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