There are excruciating choices some women have to make. Stay married to a husband who is psychologically fused with his narcissistic mother or make the decision to sever the marriage because you can no longer tolerate the severe narcissistic abuse projected on to you.
This woman is not going to change. She is the vaunted Matriarch of the family. She runs everyone: her husband, children, siblings and any one else that crosses her path. Her son (your husband) loves and hates his mother but he is psychologically locked in to her. He has never been able to separate himself from her clutches. You married him because of your love for him. You saw a long future of sharing your life with him. Then the nightmare started full force. His narcissistic mother revealed herself in full ugly vengefulness. She gossiped about you to all the relatives, made up secrets about you and your family, telling all who would listen that you came from people who were dishonest and low class, who may have committed crimes. This vicious gossip and flat out lines was very convincing to her coterie of family followers. They believed her.
You recognized that your husband was in fact intimidated like a young boy about hurting his mother’s feelings who could turn the tears on and off like a well oiled tap. What an actress—She needed to take to the stage.
But this is real life for you every day, a miserable impossible situation with this woman and a man who remains a small boy in her presence. It is up to you to decide if you will remain in this very difficult role of villainess.
There are many life stories of women subjected to this level of narcissistic abuse that recognize that their husbands are so fused with their mothers that this Gordian knot cannot be untied. It is time to say goodbye. This is not an easy parting, but wrenching, especially if you have children. Many women have taken this hard pathway to their freedom from the narcissistic mother-in-law. But the rewards are great. You have your personal freedom, inner peace and all of your options are open for you to use all of your creative gifts. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life