Narcissists do not own the psychological darkness they create in the lives of others—-grandiose manipulations, betrayals, malicious cruelties. The narcissist is a human tornado, wreaking psychological, emotional and physical havoc wherever he or she goes. Most people are unable to “hear” the warning signals of the oncoming funnel cloud descending on them. They haven’t built protective emotional shelters for themselves. They thought they were safe with the narcissist despite so many warning sirens. . Those who throw their fates in with the narcissist are deluded by him or her, leaving themselves psychologically vulnerable and emotionally disarmed.
Why would the spouses, partners and friends of narcissists trust them? They believe that the narcissist is genuine and if not completely perfect, they excuse his human frailties. The narcissist burnishes his image, presenting himself as a “Good Person.” He is blind to his deceptions and cruelties. His purpose is to set the straightest course possible to satiate his strong appetites for power, control, adulation and monetary rewards.
Here and there, at strategic moments, the narcissist displays a pseudo empathy and understanding that puts the other person off guard. There are kindnesses and gifts of attention and monetary compensations, sprinkled like tiny diamonds on black velvet. They sparkle and dazzle, blinding the insightful eye. Narcissists join charitable organizations and act the humanitarian role. Donating to these institutions is part of their public image as a “compassionate human being.” No one dares to question the purpose of their generosity.
Those who finally wake up to the fact that the narcissist is not a “good person” but a severe personality disorder are the fortunate ones that realize that their lives have been hijacked, their identities stolen. As they tread the path away from the narcissist, they feel freer, lighter, more energetic and peaceful. They were captive birds now thrown to the skies to soar, glide and celebrate their true natures.Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.