After you have separated from and divorced the narcissist you will go through a time of adjustment. For many there is an enormous sense of relief since the marriage has been treacherous and cruel for many years. Even if you have anticipated your divorce, there is an aftermath that many individuals experience. You have been under extreme duress for so many years you made not realize that your level of stress during the entire marriage has been very high. Physiologically this means that the non-narcissistic spouse has been living with a high level of hyper-vigilance, apprehension and chronic anxiety. When we feel endangered our nervous system goes in the sympathetic survival mode what is called fight or flight syndrome. In a state of relaxation and repose the nervous system is in parasympathetic mode. This is the state the nervous system needs to be in to activate psychophysiological healing. Many of those who divorce narcissists are incapable of remembering if they have ever felt the relaxation and repose of the parasympathetic nervous system. This is a natural state—a condition that everyone deserves to experience.
Once you are free from sharing your life with the narcissist you can practice a variety of techniques to get in touch with the natural calming part of your nature. This can be achieved by practicing gentle hatha yoga with emphasis on breathing through the nostrils, participating in a form of meditation in a way that works for you. Taking time to appreciate your own solitude is a source of activating healing. Some individuals find great comfort and calming in keeping a regular journal that they use to express their thoughts and feelings as a way of releasing this long held pain. Other good habits to get into to help your recovery process is eating healthy and a good sleep routine with at least 8 hours of rest. If you’re struggling to sleep then look into getting a memory foam mattress. As you work through the healing process, this calm state will become increasingly familiar to your body/mind and you will discover a deep peace inside. As the months and years pass and you continue these practices, the feeling of calmness will deepen. Your will lead the life that you were meant to lead. You deserve to be fully liberated. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life