From Budding Narcissist to Adult Narcissistic Scourge

Many of you have had the experience of watching a narcissist grow
from early childhood into adulthood. You heard the ear shattering
tantrums, saw the parents make no attempt to get their “golden child” to
behave. Their efforts were feeble because from the beginning he/she was
never corrected for inconsiderate and boorish behavior. This child was
considered special from the beginning–a little king or queen who was
raised to the highest pinnacles. I have been astounded and chagrined by
the outrageous behaviors of these chosen children. I have bitten my
tongue sore in social situations to not say: “Make that brat behave. He
is not the only one on  the face of the earth.” “You are growing a
monster who will come to hate you, exploit you and make the lives of
others intolerable.” But in social situations I have kept quiet in the
past. Now I refuse these invitations. I would be watching a parent
creating a mini monster who will grow into an abominable human being.
Adults especially  parents make excuses for their unempathic, selfish,
materialistic, cruel, sadistic children. And others in the family go
along with the charade. After all this child is so bright and
attractive, what could be wrong with him. He is excelling in school as
he charms everyone. What else can a parent want? You as a member of this
family are expected to believe this delusion and to adore the child as
much as his parents. Beneath the surface, the budding narcissist, day by
day is becoming more self obsessed, grabby about what he must have,
more grandiose that he is superior to everyone else and cannot make
mistakes. He lies impeccably to trick others and make fools of them. He
intimidates his brothers and sisters who live in sheer terror of his
footsteps. Mother and father are oblivious and reluctant to correct or
criticize the little prince. He has become a  reflection of their
perfection. They cannot be objective. The family image rides on the
their son’s perfect narcissistic facade. In the current societal climate
today,narcissists are ruling. They get away with their treacheries
because they exude confidence and are often very clever and forceful
personalities that no one will buck them.

If a member
of your family is a narcissist and you have known him/her since
childhood—-he is not going to change. Now as an adult he is a larger,
more ingrained, more vicious facsimile of his younger self. In fact many
narcissists become meaner with age, more duplicitous and malicious. Do
you need this person in your life? Is it worth all the  hurt feelings,
cruelties to be a part of this pathological drama. Ask yourself these
questions and trust your inner response. You don’t deserve this savage
treatment. Learn about the inner workings of the narcissistic
personality. This will help you in making discernments about the people
you want to include in your life.  Visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life