Stop Acting As the High Level Narcissist’s Primary Source of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic Sociopathic Spiritual Teachers Cause Psychological Harm

Narcissistic sociopaths, especially “spiritual teachers” are among the most cunning, compelling and psychologically corrosive individuals. Many of them build large movements. Some of them develop into cults that involve mind control. The leader is often highly attractive in every way: physically, intellectually, has tremendous charisma, even psychic powers. They have command of themselves and know how to determine if a person is “ripe” to be brainwashed into their movement or special community. There are spiritual groups that are very sincere and have a high consciousness. I am talking about the newly imaged, hip, smart bearer of truth, insights and epiphanies. They are often announced with great fanfare. There closest devotees treat them with reverence. Their eyes glow with true believer allegiance. They smile their ways through the perfect trance of their newest delusion—the belief that their leader is divine. They are hooked and fused with this person. Many have paid thousands of dollars numerous times to attend weekend retreats with their holy teacher. They don’t blink an eye at the expense they are in such a state of bliss. Some sociopathic spiritual teachers present themselves in an ego dropped, simple manner–just plain old me. Don’t be fooled. This is a convincing act that can be irresistible to many who are spiritual seekers and feel that something vital is missing in their lives. While many people look to spiritual individuals in times of need, others seek help in the form of psychic readings from professional mediums. However, many psychic mediums do not give their clients a great look into the divine that they are hoping for. That is why it is important to check out some of the Best Online Psychic Readings before deciding which medium to go to. Comparatively, seeking mentoring from ‘spiritual teachers’ can often be damaging for individuals who are often used by the narcissist to get what they want.

Those who become deeply involved with the sociopathic spiritual teacher lose themselves and their identities chasing after the empty promises of this very disturbed individual. The psychological fusion that the devotee has with the “teacher” is very unhealthy. A deep dependency can develop and the person is unable to dis-identify from this person whom he views as savior. When the member finally leaves the group, he or she is psychologically damaged and financially compromised. Some members sign over their valuable possessions to these sociopathic leaders. After leaving the cult or sociopathic spiritual leader it is essential that the person receive highly skilled psychotherapy to help them sever their relationships and dependence on this person.

There are certain red flags that will tell you if a “spiritual sociopathic teacher” is in your midst. Ask yourself what is the money motive. Are they charging inordinate amounts of money? Are they insist that you return for the next group of sessions to get to a higher level? Is the teacher highly grandiose and making impossible promises about your healing and divine gifts that you will automatically receive if you sign up. Do they isolate people who attend their retreats so that they become more emotionally vulnerable. If you don’t go along with their program, are you shunned or verbally criticized and humiliated. How much money is changing hands.I say always follow the money. True spiritual teachers are not focused on money but on helping you reach higher consciousness, deep mental focus, a strong sense of inner peace and deep empathy.

Pay close attention to you intuition and it will always tell you if you are dealing with a narcissistic sociopathic spiritual teacher.


Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: [email protected]

Narcissistic Spouses Ripping You Apart Piece by Piece

Piece by piece, some small others large, your narcissistic spouse is ripping your apart psychologically and attempting to destroy your singular life. When we are married we expect some autonomy. This is not possible with a narcissistic partner. They are fused with husband/wife even when they are having affairs, ignoring your feelings, pretending like you don’t exist. You are their possession to be used according to their delusional whims and obsessions. When you put you life’s fate in with a narcissist you have made a deal with the devil. Many spouses who remain in these relationships decades later look back at what has become of their lives. They are worn out, depressed, lack energy and hope and feel desperate much of the time. Every once in a while they will have a crumb dropped on them out of the blue by the narcissistic partner. “Let’s take a trip, dear.” “I bought this outfit just for you.” Let’s go out to dinner, just the two of us.” Often these are empty promises to bring you back into their camp—prison camp. Many go for this bait time after time.

The narcissist is not going to change—ever. You are married to a severe fixed personality disorder. You are the one who will make the decisions and the changes. You cannot trust the narcissist to do what he/she says in a moment of conjuring up the early days of glowing seduction and no limits life possibilities.

You now see through the delusion but are afraid to leave the narcissist. Many with whom I have been in contact, reach inside and make the decision to sever the marriage and reclaim their lives. This is a tremendous challenge but those who have made this step report that now they lead their own lives and are not overshadowed by the narcissist’s possessiveness, intimidations, humiliations, betrayals and exploitations. Take heart, you can turn on to a different pathway and lead the life to which you are entitled.

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: [email protected]

Narcissists Expect Perfection—From You

Narcissists are often obsessed with the perfection of the externals–how they look, what they wear, their eternal youth, flawless skin, no errant hair on the brows, sparkling teeth that startle the eye, perfect bodies, no wrinkles. However, caring for your teeth isn’t a trait exclusive to narcissists, we should all try to maintain good dental health and attend routine checkups with our Dentist Syracuse. When they walk in a room at a party they quickly survey the scene and know that they are the most beautiful or handsome person in the room. They are thrilled from head to toe, manic over their flawlessness. They go from person to person–exhibiting how lovely they are. They’ve got it all and they are advertising it to the hilt.

There are narcissists who are obsessed with their work perfection. Many of them do perform at a very high level. Others are delusional and believe that they are perfect. They are known for delegating to others and expecting them to do all the hard work. When a project is completed the slave laborer–sometimes a spouse–is berated and criticized even if the product is superior. Their open mouthed screams can be heard down long hallways. They pick at you, like a vulture on a dead carcass. The problem is that you are alive—your adrenal glands are pouring out nor epinephrine, your intestinal tract is roiling, you have to go to the bathroom because you feel like throwing up, you cry and can’t stop–Your tears make the narcissist livid and he/she turns up the volume and may even push you around–literally. You are a living slave to a narcissistic ego. How much more will you take? What are your options? How can you free yourself? You don’t deserve to be treated this way. You need to learn to respect yourself. This is severe verbal and in some cases physical abuse. When the time of reckoning comes, many partners of narcissists take the step to separate from this horrendous way of life and leave the narcissists. There are many life stories of successful flights to freedom.

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: [email protected]

Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Your Healing Accumulates

When you have been through the mental and psychological torment of growing up the daughter of a narcissistic mother and now you have severed the relationship, you wonder: Will I ever heal ? How long will it take? I don’t think anyone can answer that question specifically. However, Healing is Cumulative. Every step you take each day is moving you toward greater wholeness. You are initiating this process when you never blame yourself for the narcissistic mother you had, when you allow yourself to feel and express your feelings, when you cry and feel a sense of release, when you write spontaneously without editing or judging, when you do gentle yoga poses, breathing through the nostrils and acknowledge that each cell in your body/mind is renewing itself. Every time that you are in the parasympathetic nervous system zone—you are healing. Daughters of narcissistic mothers grow up in “running from the beast who will kill me” mode.  Living with this fire drill constantly and the fires that have to be put out from these dreadful mothers makes a daughter feel endangered at all times. This has a drastic effect your psyche, mind, body and emotions. Many narcissistic mothers besides their extreme abuse, deprive and neglect their daughters. I have heard that they have never been hugged by their so called mothers. They were told that they were never wanted.. They were ignored. Some of them were left hungry as small children and not fed. This is the truth. There are other daughters who were given what their body needed by their souls and psyches were starved and they were the recipients of narcissistic abuse simultaneously.

Develop a healing program that works for you. Some benefit from excellent psychotherapy. Be sure to interview several therapists. Yes, there are excellent ones but there are also narcissistic psychotherapists who are after your emotional dependency and most important to them—-your money. Some narcissistic psychotherapist overcharge without blinking an eye. Exercise helps to strengthen the immune system and modulates your moods and reduces anxiety and helps your sleep. Some of those healing, take up a meditation practice. This can be done in a variety of ways. You can doing walking meditation, sitting meditation. Do what works for you. If it is two minutes or less, this is meditation. It is intention in action and consistency. If you miss a day or more, do not judge. If you love Nature, embrace it. It is there to heal us.

If you love color, take photographs, view art in any number of forms, listen to music and flow with it. Acupuncture for some is a source of experiencing the parasympathetic nervous system, the ultimate in relaxation and calm.

Know that your healing is accumulating every day. Stay in touch with your loving heart.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: [email protected]

Narcissists Are Pretend Parents

The narcissistic personality is psychologically a young child who never learned to be responsible or accountable for his actions, decisions or his treatment of others, including spouses and children. Narcissists are developmentally arrested at the age of two or earlier. They Want and they Get. They cajole, manipulate, deceive, rage and lie to get exactly what they want. They are bottomless pits of having their way. They are cunning, cruel, and exceedingly exploitative, often of their own children. When a marriage with a narcissist fails, the narcissistic spouse who hasn’t paid one moment of attention to his children, suddenly want them all to himself (herself). He plays hero suddenly and becomes the great parent. This is an image that the narcissist creates. He makes sure that the cameras and attention are on him when he is playing this part. He is photographed, tweeted, linkedIn and facebooked. Narcissists cannot love their own children or anyone else. You can be married to a narcissist for many years who has ignored your children since they were born but when you decide that you can’t tolerate the abuse any longer and seek a divorce, he will do everything and beyond to get custody of “his” children. He is super dad and saint combined. When he does get custody, he ignores his children, often leaving them alone to fend for themselves. In public he suddenly becomes highly attentive to them. When the doors close and the narcissist is unseen, he has no use for them. This is the Jekyll/Hyde father that causes serious psychological issues for his children. It is important for these children to get professional help if they develop symptoms. In some cases the narcissist becomes very bored with the whole arrangement and decides to go solo and run after the lovely ladies that he knows have been waiting at stage right.

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: [email protected] 

 

Unwanted Mutilated Children of Narcissistic Mothers

When you look into the eyes of a child of a narcissistic mother, the pain is so intense you cannot bear it. Imagine what that human being across from you is experiencing all of the time–since the beginning of her/his life. Some children of narcissists are so psychologically numb that they cannot feel this pain because it would crush them completely. Rather, they harm themselves. Some become anorexic and control the one thing they can–what they put in their mouths. Others turn to high risk relationships with sadistic partners who beat them up psychologically and physically. Some make small cuts in their flesh in inconspicuous secret places to release their unbearable feelings.

Many of these adult children tell you over and over again how much they love their mothers. It is confounding but not surprising. They have identified with their life aggressor, the person who birthed them and then did everything possible to destroy them. Narcissistic mothers adore their golden children–the ones that are very attractive, extroverted, overly confident, great performers. They detest their child who is not as physically attractive, a loner and thinker, quiet, sensitive, introverted.

In many cases the unwanted psychologically abused child goes through her life “adoring” mother and hating herself. She is fused with a mother and trapped in a state of self loathing. This is tragic and true.

There are other children who awaken to the true nature of their narcissistic mother—feel her mortal danger to them, know that she will never love them and will not stop torturing them. They take the ride of their insight and finally acknowledge that they never had a real mother–but a monster, a psychological killer.

There are many life stories of those who have broken these horrendous chains of abuse, who have worked through their feelings of self hatred, shame and loathing and have emerged to recognize, feel and celebrate their true natures. You deserve our special love and respect. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

Email: [email protected]

Socciopathic Narcissistic Mothers Have No Mercy

Did you look into the eyes of your sociopathic narcissistic mother and feel the full force of her hatred? Were you nauseated by her touch, her smell? Did she constantly threaten to harm you? Did she watch every move you made so that she could pounce like a wild animal? Did she make fun of you in front of your brothers and sisters and other family members? Did she tell you that you were ugly and she was ashamed of you? These and thousands more of horrific questions are still heard and felt loudly in the minds, bodies and psyches of children of sociopathic narcissistic mothers. These are not exaggerations. I have heard and read these life stories and innumerable variations of them too many times not to know that this is absolutely true. When you see the intolerable pain in the faces of those who have been tormented in this way and hear the faint whimper and terror in their voices you know they have suffered intolerably. They have been treated without mercy.

I have a special place inside for children who have suffered so severely. I am moved by their courage to survive each day and to finally prevail. To seek good professional help that can help them to heal. To practice healing modalities like gentle yoga, different forms of meditation, jounaling, spending time with Nature and animals, to build loving relationships with individuals whom they can trust. Often those those have been treated without mercy are compassionate and empathic individuals. You can and will heal. It is your destiny to be whole and experience deep inner peace and to express your creativity fully. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International

Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

Email: [email protected]

Don’t Blame Yourself for Your Narcissistic Parents

Some victims of narcissistic parents–mother or father or both, blame themselves for not being perfect. They live the guilt of not meeting their parents’ expectations. These demands and expectations on the part of narcissistic parents are delusional. Even if you had reached perfection by their standards it would never have satisfied them. As the child of a narcissistic mother or father you remember that making your greatest efforts to satisfy their demands and wishes was never enough. You were criticized, demeaned and humiliated. Even when you had straight A’s in school they chided you for not participating in enough extracurricular activities or being alone. It was always something. They would always finding a way of pulling you down.

Many victims of narcissistic parents still feel haunted by feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness as a result of innumerable verbal assaults on them as children and adults. Some of these adult children make the decision to sever their relationship from the narcissistic parent. They cannot and will no longer tolerate this level of verbal abuse and their collusion with other relatives to ruin your reputation with others.

You have a unique individual life that belongs to you–You are many talents and gifts that you can use to enrich your life. You have opportunities for loving relationships with those who will care deeply about you and love you for yourself. Think about this—You can be free. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: [email protected]

Narcissistic Mother’s Corrosive Envy of Their Daughters

Narcissistic mothers know that they are superior to everyone else, especially their daughters. If you are the daughter you felt your mother appraising you very early and finding you wanting. She picked away at your self confidence. Her tone of voice was demeaning. She never approved of you. You may have been beautiful, bright, talented or not unusual on the exterior. This would not have mattered. She was in competition with you from the beginning. Some narcissistic mothers resent how much attention the her husband, the new father,is giving to his baby daughter. If the bond is loving and close, she becomes incensed. As you grow she tells lies about you, enunciating long lists of your many transgressions and cruelties. Your narcissistic mom lied about you all of the time. She wished that you never existed. You were her immediate rival for dad’s attention and the entire world. In private these mothers humiliate, intimidate and terrorize their daughters, seeking submission and blind obedience. In many cases they achieve this. The daughter is psychologically immobilized and unable to activate her gifts. She is frightened all of the time that mother will take revenge if she reveals her real self or speaks openly about her feelings. The homes of these daughters become prisons–at times a form of solitary confinement.

When daughters of narcissistic mothers grow up and become teenagers and young women, the NM vies for the attention of the young men who come to visit. She may even become seductive with the daughter’s male friends and proposition them. In some ugly scenes the young fellow goes along and has a sexual fling with the narcissistic mom. The humiliation and horror of discovering your mother’s breach of morality and her complete betrayal of her maternal role is emotionally intolerable. The narcissistic mother has no conscience–when she wants something or someone, she goes after it. This woman is a narcissistic personality who is not going to change. Think carefully about your options. You can sever this pathological relationships. Study the narcissistic personality in-depth.Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

Email: [email protected]

Narcissistic Parents Sabotage Their Children

By definition sabotage is a “treacherous action.” Treachery when perpetrated upon a family member means destruction and annihilation. It is beyond ruthlessness.

Growing up in a narcissistic family is like being in the middle of a deadly fire fight twenty four hours a day. The child who survives these skirmishes and all out wars is truly remarkable. I hear and read life stories of those who found survival techniques. Many of them hid in their own hoes, spent time with friends to keep out of the war zone, slipped their minds away into books, video games, drawing, writing, other creative activities. Some children were fortunate to have a grand parent who would give them times of respite.

Some children who have this experience are in a constant state of anxiety–fight or flight syndrome.The narcissist–mother or father or both rule the household. Screams and demands–slaps and threats can be heard and experienced frequently in these homes. The narcissist lives for himself (herself) alone. Narcissists don’t love their children. They use them to prop up their egos if they perceive that a particular child can add to their perfect image. In this case the child is indulged. The rest of the kids are cast aside and neglected or treated abysmally. Some of these children find ingenious ways to save their sense of self, to conceal their creative gifts but continue to use them and to keep the inner fire of a sense of self burning brightly. I have known individuals who have been able to accomplish this despite all of the narcissistic pathology of their mother or father or both parents.

Adult children continue to heal through skilled psychotherapy and many forms of bringing the body/mind back into balance: gentle yoga, meditation, support groups, full use of your creativity. You can heal. You will heal. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife