Stop Acting As the High Level Narcissist’s Primary Source of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic men and women are sexually predatory. There is a special kind of narcissist–very good looking, more cocksure confident than intellectually bright, silk smooth with women (especially wealthy ones) and a masterful seducer. The best set up for this man is a woman of great wealth several decades his senior. It doesn’t matter to him if she is married or single. All this narcissist needs to know is that she has plenty of money and he’s going to get ahold of it. This type of narcissistic man has been seducing women all of his life. He can’t count the number of young woman and older ones with whom he has had sex for minor and major rewards–from small favors and social privileges in the beginning to setting up business connections, leading to the highest levels of corporate power. The handsome, super confident risk taking narcissist knows one thing—He can meet, seduce and establish business alliances with women who become sexually and psychologically dependent and reward him with unlimited amounts of wealth. This is in exchange for his intimate services and his masterful role in becoming an indispensable part of this woman’s life. She wouldn’t make a move, especially a business decision without him. This method has been working for narcissistic men for centuries and continues to rake in hundreds of millions of dollars to male narcissists who are at the top of this ruthless game. Protect yourself psychologically, emotionally and financially by studying the narcissistic personality disorder in depth. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: [email protected]

Narcissistic spouses are all abusive in one way or another. They operate in a climate of psychological intimidation. They have different communication styles. Some make constant demands. They expect to get what they want immediately on the spot. If they don’t receive the perfect solution or answer, they start screaming at the top of their lungs. Narcissists have very strong lungs and steel vocal cords. That could be because they have so much practice. Most spouses are very disturbed by these abusive non stop demands. The narcissist is not going to change. This is a severe fixed personality disorder. Some spouses believe that they can compromise with the narcissist. This is not going to happen. Narcissists are completely arbitrary. They must have it their way without exception.

While you are endeavoring to make a decision about staying with a narcissistic spouse or to leave them, learn how to psychologically detach from them. Focus on your own needs and develop a stronger sense of self entitlement. Work with yourself. Learn to calm your body and mind. This can be done with certain practices like gentle hatha yoga and forms of meditation–sitting and walking meditation. Learning to quiet the mind through a regular practice strengthens your capacity to experience yourself as separate from the narcissist. You learn to go deep inside by consistent practice. Consistency is the key. Dedication and discipline work alongside intention to gain all of the benefits of these practices. As the capacity to quiet your mind strengthens and steadies, you will find that you are more in tune with yourself and much less vulnerable to the theatrics and ruses of the narcissistic spouse. These ancient practices are highly applicable today in developing a sense of steadiness and psychological detachment and increase your capacity for mindfulness and clarity of focus. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
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The narcissistic mother, especially those who overpower their spouse and everyone in the household with the force of her will, treats her children like narcissistic supplies. Narcissistic mothers enhance their grandiosity and overblown sense of omnipotence by using their children to enhance their bloated egos and the elaborate false mask that they show the world. Most people outside of these highly dysfunctional homes would never guess or believe that these mothers are abusing their children. Some narcissistic mothers play their parts so well that other family members living outside the home believe their well rehearsed act. Narcissistic mothers often cast their children in different roles. Many choose a child who will become a perfect mirror of the narcissistic mother. The chosen child is often very bright, can be gifted musically, has athletic skills and is very attractive or pretty. Mother is entranced with this child. She has found the perfect vision of herself in this being to whom she has given birth. This child is adored by her over all of her other children. The others siblings are treated very differently. Often there is a sensitive kid who endures volumes of verbal abuse and assault to his person. She/he is told that she is ugly, can never measure up, is deficient, etc. This cruel theme is repeated daily to this child and has very negative effects on this individual’s psyche. Even those who are “chosen” , though privileged and allowed to do whatever they want, including being cruel to their brothers and sisters, are forced to become a perfect clone of the mother. They are human puppets who must dance to her choreography—They are living narcissistic supplies.

Narcissistic mothers as they grow older continue these cruel practices, turn one child against the other, causing psychological chaos and emotional damage. Those who are victims of these non-mothers try to survive the best they can. Even into adulthood, victims of narcissistic mother’s abuse are still suffering the tortures of childhood. At some point many of these adult children decide that they must sever this “relationship” with mother to reclaim their own lives and their unique selves. They stop contact with the narcissistic mother. They seek the support of others who understand their suffering and are there to comfort them and help them heal. Human beings are resilient when provided with good psychological nourishment. Many of these scapegoated children, free from the narcissistic mother gulag, discover their creative gifts, find that they are able to have deep loving relationships and find inner peace inside of themselves. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: [email protected]

In many ways we still live in a patriarchal society despite the tremendous inroads that provide equal opportunities in education and professional options to women not possible decades ago.

There are still some areas where narcissistic men are given a pass to do whatever they want. Remember the phrase “too big to fail”. We can say about these men that they are “too important and powerful to be held accountable for any of their actions, even serious crimes.” Unfortunately, there are too many men and women who defend these narcissistic dangerous human beings. These exploiters are often high level sociopath narcissists in professional positions of the highest power. Many people revere them because of their amassed wealth, their global connections and influence and the real and palpable influence that they hold over others. Everyone wants to be on this man’s team, by his side as a marital partner. Their followers are bathed in the unction that the world pours on them.

Some of these men have committed the horrendous crime of raping women. Yes—No one wants to talk about that one.Often sociopathic narcissists brutalize women whom they view as below their social, educational and economic class. They know that they can get away with the sexual assaults because the victims will be frightened to charge them and if charged they will experience ridicule and full frontal bombardment from the narcissist’s defense dream team. They have defended sociopathic narcissists before and gotten most of them off—even on the most heinous charges.

Some of these men rape their wives for years. The victims speak out only to friends who will hold their dark secrets. They remain married to these husbands from hell because they feel worthless, powerless and don’t want to disrupt the image of the family they believe they must uphold.

Woman and men who see through the delusion of the sociopathic narcissist must speak up on a variety of fronts: ethical, legal, social, moral, psychological. Identify and unmask the sociopathic narcissist. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book; Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: [email protected]

Covert narcissists on their game are so smooth, you don’t realize you have been psychologically mugged until it is too late. The covert narcissist is a genius at putting you off guard. The conversation begins pleasantly. There are easy verbal exchanges at first. You become spontaneous with this person. You are on a roll and having a good time. Then, without any warning, come the precision cuts with a very sharp instrument the primitive projections of the the covert narcissist.

Different covert narcissists have perfected different styles for ambushing you and making you feel worthless, incompetent, anxious,confused, unsure of yourself, emotionally hurt and ultimately very angry. There are who appear to ask innocent questions. They want to get to know you. You start to get comfortable with them. You let down your defenses. They start to ask personal questions beyond what kind of work do you do. How much do you make. What are the taxes on your house. How much did it cost to re-do your kitchen, how much money do you have in the bank,how are your stocks doing and which ones do you have, what are they worth, do you have any illnesses, are you divorced, single, between marriages, and on and on. It never stops. Covert narcissists have no psychological boundaries, no respected or awareness of the feelings of others.When they find a sore spot they probe more deeply. You are now becoming more and more uncomfortable and anxious but you feel compelled to answer them.You are afraid they will become angry with you. You are being overwhelmed by the force of their personality. They view themselves as supreme controllers. Your private information give them a feeling of power over you that they can use to manipulate your feelings.

Another covert narcissist style is the Humble Bragger. They are clever and subtle asking about how you are first. You tell them, believing that they are sincere. They have mastered the sincerity act. They seem to be humble, very interested in you. They offer you bouquets of compliments and hang on your every word. After you have revealed yourself, they go into their Can You Top This Mode. They brag about how much money they make, the important people they know personally and with whom they are connected both professionally and socially. One phone call will get them any job they want at the highest levels. They attend parties with the creme de la creme of the inner circles of the A list people. (These are usually Super Narcissists). With all of this bragging they are inflating themselves and clearly implying that you don’t have anything of value to offer. They have flipped you over like a spider that can’t make himself upright with all of his efforts. They leave you doubting yourself, feeling “less than” , frustrated with yourself and angry.
Learn to recognize these narcissists in disguise. They are very subtle. Most people don’t recognize them. Be assertive with them. Don’t answer their questions. You can say: I don’t answer personal questions. Stick with your answer. Study the narcissistic personality disorder, recognizing that this is another version that you can learn to identify. Keep your distance from them if you can. If you have to interact with them, keep reminding yourself of who they really are —–They are worse than wolves in sheep’s clothing. They can be downright diabolical.

Practice quieting the mind through meditation in the way that works best for you. Keep tuning into your intuition. This capacity will reveal their true nature to you. Practice gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath. Meditation develops clear mental discernment and detachment from toxic individuals. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: [email protected]

For thousands of years women have been used, abused, cycled and re-cycled by narcissistic men. They are girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, first wives, second wives, third wives, etc. ex-wives. A narcissist will use you any time you are of benefit to him for varieties of reasons. Maybe you have access to money–your own or through your family. Are you highly visible socially and well connected. Do you have high prestige as a professional. Are you beautiful. Do you have a prominent family. Are you dependent on men and willing to do anything to make them happy—even compromising your entire life. I hear these stories all of the time and it is heartbreaking.

Narcissists are super exploiters—They don’t have relationships with women–They use them to the hilt at every opportunity. Many woman know this but are beguiled by a particular narcissistic man and the lifestyle that he promises. Do you realizes that while he is slathering it on thick with you, he is thinking of several other women on whom he will use this same script. Yes it is like being in a play. Narcissists never take the feelings of others seriously. They don’t care if you are hurt and abandoned. You—Unique You– are easily replaceable to the narcissist. As long as he looks great, is potent, feels money flush, and is turning heads and getting ahead and toppling others in business–that’s all he cares about. This is the raw truth about the narcissist. Once you know this, take it to heart and spare yourself a lot of suffering.

Lead the life that you deserve. Choose a man who is up to your standards–someone capable of love, affection, emotional intimacy. Strengthen yourself so that you are not inclined to fall for this kind of infantile, selfish, deceitful man ever again. I wish you the very best. I have faith in you. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife

Some narcissistic women fit in a category that I call the Wonder Woman. There is nothing she can’t achieve. The narcissistic wonder woman is highly competitive. She will do and say anything to be number one. Some narcissistic wonder women have high metabolisms. They either feel very little pain or are masterful at concealing their pain. They have wills of iron. The narcissistic wonder woman has an impeccable external image that is constantly updated and refreshed using a variety of aesthetic procedures. The narcissistic wonder woman may appear to be slightly manic. She is restless, moving all of the time. They are not bi-polar disorders. She knows how to expertly wield the bejeweled axe on those who are obstacles on your upward trajectory. Think of the Atlantis rocket fully ignited on the launch pad. Are you going to get in front of this one–I don’t think so.

If you are feeling weak, vulnerable, are incapable of empathy. They expect no complaints, no vulnerability and of course no tragedy.

The narcissist uses primitive unconscious projections to inflict pain on you. These are defense mechanisms that are out of the narcissist’s consciousness. If you have to deal with the narcissistic wonder woman, learn how to be psychologically detached. Developing a regular hatha yoga practice with emphasis on the breath will help you focus. Meditation, quieting the mind is another way of learning how to detach from the narcissist.

Learn to appreciate that you are real. You have genuine feelings. You are not a machine, an artiface. You are authentic with many creative gifts. Go forward with your life and appreciate your individuality. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: [email protected]

Covert narcissists are so verbally adept. Know that when they call you something is up. They rehearse their lines. Actually, they have been deceptive for so long that trying to get the best of you is natural to them. Covert narcissists can be so subtle that if you tell someone else that you are being worked over by one of these vipers in disguise, they won’t believe you. Don’t wait to get agreement or even support from many people. They cruise about saying:”Oh, she is such a nice person; you must be exaggerating” or “Just ignore it. She doesn’t mean it” or “You’re overly sensitive. Toughen up. Don’t take things so seriously.” I hear from those who have been chronically victimized and shoved around psychologically by covert narcissists. I believe them—exactly what they are saying.

There are a number of covert narcissists and a growing number of narcissists sprouting every day in this superficial cultural environment. Many are just looking at the externals: how attractive is this person, are they making lots of money, how well educated are they and did they go to “right” schools, are they bright, are they popular. Responding in the correct way to these questions is often the measure a person takes of your value as a human being. How absurd and cruel! Becoming keenly aware how to identify and deal with the covert narcissist will help you to protect yourself from them, to maintain clear boundaries from their toxicity and to independently go forward with your life, goals, relationships and personal growth.

Covert narcissists are control obsessed. They are masterful at the art of conversation, especially if they are trying to impress you or if they want something from you. If you catch them off-guard the conversation can be very ugly. They will snipe away at you, pecking away bit by bit until they draw the psychological blood they have been seeking. They happily feed off of others. Don’t become a victim of these bloodsuckers and below the belt punchers. Remember, they only live for themselves and those whom they have chosen for their inner circle of admirers. Admirers are brainwashed to believe that this covert narcissist is a close friend and confident. The covert narcissist glories in his/her circle. He controls them with the velvet glove—-offering and fulfilling many of their wishes to keep them feeling good and to deepen their dependence on this person. This is like a small cult of personality. The members of the circle look to the covert narcissist as the leader and authority figure. For the covert narcissist this is an incredible source of narcissistic supply.

Regardless of their charm, their golden words and the favors they do for you, always remember that they are narcissists—–cold, calculating, ruthless, completely lack empathy, deceptive, clever liars, very secretive, exploitative. If you get on their wrong side, watch out—they are filled with a roiling chasm of volcanic rage that never ends. They know how to wound and keep wounding you. Learn about covert narcissists in-depth. When you identify them, be fore warned. No matter how lovely, charming and magnetic they are—this is all a very convincing act. Keep you distance. You cannot have any kind of relationship with a covert narcissist.

Put the emphasis on your own psychological and spiritual (as you define it) development. Expand and deepen your creative gifts. You will find individuals who are not narcissists and are capable of deeply caring about and appreciating you as you are. Pay attention to your intuition—It is the source of truth. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, etc.
Email: [email protected]

Even if you are married to a narcissist, this person doesn’t own you—how you feel, think, how well you sleep at night, what worries you, your creative gifts, your choice of close friends—your life’s destiny–That belongs to you and no one else. It is difficult to buck the narcissists who are in our families including parents and siblings, in-laws and especially spouses. I hear so many life stories filled with deep emotional pain. They know that the narcissist has taken over and commandeered even their thoughts and in some dire circumstances the last shreds of hope that they will be able to escape the narcissist’s grip and take back the life that they deserve as separate individuals.

Do not live by fear. I know this is very difficult if you have been under the psychological and financial yoke of the narcissists for decades or even beginning as children in a narcissistic family. The narcissistic personality is not going to change. You can dance to every tune that they play and it will never be good enough. Some spouses stay with the narcissist for the lifestyle, for the prestige of “sharing” their lives with someone who is notable and financially very successful. When you live with a narcissist there is no sharing. THEY TAKE! And you give, sometimes more than you can bear. What this kind of relationship does to your children is very destructive. It tells them that one person can harm another emotionally and psychologically and have complete control in a household with no mercy and empathy and that is OK. You who know who the narcissist really is must come forward and tell the truth by your act of separating yourself in some significant way from this highly disruptive and disturbed person. Forget those, including relatives who are pressuring you to stay with the narcissist. He or she only shows his good side to them. Also they don’t want to hear anything that is negative. They are too accustomed to not being capable of dealing with the truth. They live in delusion. As long as people’s lives have a gilded image on the outside, that fine with them. They are not interested in what goes on, the nightmarish scenarios that take place every day inside the confines of a house where those victimized by narcissists are held psychologically captive. If you hold the truth, that is all that matters even if hundreds of others are deluded. We live in a time when the society is ready and even thrilled by the narcissistic style. The externals of life have replaced what the heart and intuition know to be the truth. Hold on to the truth no matter who disagrees or tries to whittle you down. They are seeing through a glass darkly. Know this and remain strong in your perception.

Strengthen yourself. Learn to detach and separate from the narcissist through quieting your nervous system and your mind. Find routine and practices that help you achieve a state of calmness. Do this regularly. Find practices that work for you: gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath, various forms of meditation, beginning with short period of meditation and nonjudgmental attitudes, walking and other cardiovascular exercise that increases in your stamina and vitality, drives the engine of the immune system and raises your moods. Find your creative path—Is it journaling, gardening, blogging, podcasting, photographing Nature around you, cooking—You will know what area of creativity is calling you. Watch yourself progress. The self is always evolving and moving forward. We provide it with the right environment inside and growth takes place. This is a natural process that we experience throughout our lives. You will find others who seek and know the truth.These individuals are invaluable. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION:UNITED STATES AND INTERNATIONAL
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, bookstores online, etc.