Whether it is your narcissistic mother, narcissistic father, narcissistic spouse, narcissistic sister or narcissistic brother or an entire narcissistic family, you have been through Hell with this dreadful life experience. As a young child you endured too much and too little at the same time. There was no emotional and psychological nurturing, no one to wipe your tears so you learned not to cry or laugh or even feel. You internalized what was real and alive inside of you so that you would not be punished and shamed and humiliated even more.
You are still licking your wounds and finding other crevices of open sore memory traces of emotional and psychological pain.
There are times now after your hard fought inner work on your psyche and soul when you perceive and appreciate what you survived. Be kind to that small child inside of you. Give him or her comfort and reassurance and validation. What an individual you are! Healing ourselves is a life process.
Practice self care–You deserve to sleep quietly at night, rest when you are weary, write without editing, freely using your unconscious without effort but ease, digest your dreams from the unconscious, meditate or pray, use your creative juices and let them flow with interruption, feel the cool air coming through your nostrils on the inhalation and the warmed air from you body at the exhalation–notice that you feel calmer.
You deserve to lead life in the full color spectrum of your psyche and soul. With Love to You.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Hi Linda,
I have been reading your articles one by one. You have been doing such a wonderful job raising awareness in general public about the narcs. Mind you, it is not only happening in US, it is everywhere. I am a survivor of four narcissists in my life, two ex spouses, one adoptive mother and one friend.
The only way to survive them is to pray to God Almighty for a full understanding what was happening to us. To keep our faith strong and keep putting ourselves first worked for me through all four ( or even a little more) relationships. I was guided right through the process very well and now I have been reading all about them and after the practical part of survival was already done and although I kept reassuring myself for what happened, I was still in search of the answers for my question “Why did it happen”?.
After reading through some great work of other authors and yours, I am very glad to know that you all have the very true analysis of such individuals, step by step and cent per cent true. They are even more than that. Believe me.
May God bless you and all of the others who are working at their best to help people recognize many faces and personality dimensions of a narcissist.
Best regards,
Mehr