You want to believe them when they pull you back into their orbit after their horrible cruelties and betrayals. They know just how to talk to you, what your emotional needs are as well as your vulnerabilities. You are most likely a deeply caring, compassionate and empathetic person. These are the ones that that they prey on the most. Although narcissists have no genuine insight, they have been practicing “playing people” all of their lives.
We don’t expect another person with whom we have shared are lives to be so deceitful and annihilating. That is because you are not thinking the way that a narcissist does. It is very important that you learn how these individuals function, what their goals are and what makes them tick. Remember–they are not like you so don’t expect them to tell the truth—ever. They lie by omission and commission. They deny the dreadful things they have done to you. They purposefully make empty promises under pressure to keep you by their side as a source of perpetual narcissistic supply–adulation, praise, validation, adoration.
Many narcissists are so charming and magnetic that with the power of their personalities and their attractiveness, they can convince you that they are telling the exact truth even when they are lying through their gorgeous white teeth.
Narcissists don’t develop a conscience. What is right or wrong for them is based on whether they can get away with something that is often immoral and unethical and even illegal. They don’t have a sense of limits. They are always right and perfect. They view others as inferior to them, boring, stupid, foolish and ignorant.
When you pay close attention to your intuition you will know when the narcissist is lying to you to get you back, to intimidate and humiliate you, to blame you, to project his/her volcanic rage on to you.
Study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Honor who you are as an authentic, creative and grounded individual. Learn to take very good care of yourself —physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Put yourself first.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.