Narcissist’s Projections are Psychologically Abusive

A projection is an unconscious defense mechanism in which the individual ejects aggressive, negative feelings and thoughts on to another person. Most people are unaware of their projections. If they get upset or angry or enraged,they simply let it spew out on those closest to them—children, spouses, business associates, siblings.

Narcissists are constantly projecting feelings that they cannot tolerate out rather than turning inward, identifying that they are projecting and owning what they have done. The narcissist creates his own world. Everything revolves around him/her. He believes that he is the initiator and master of his personal and professional domain. Everyone has a role and that is of serving him and his specific purposes. This characterlogical structure is not going to change; it is rigid and unyielding. Besides the narcissist is never wrong. He automatically blames others when anything goes awry. It is very stressful to be the recipient of narcissistic projections. The sheer force of the narcissist’s accusations and recriminations is stunning and disorienting. No one deserves to be accused, demeaned, humiliated and treated like an inferior human being. When we are children and have a narcissistic parent we have no choice and must learn how to survive these abusive conditions. As adults we have alternatives. We can confront the narcissist in a civil manner and communicate that we have personal boundaries and that this person has stepped over them. In expressing these thoughts it is important to remain emotionally detached from the narcissist’s reaction. He/she is waiting for you to cower when he comes back with a counter-attack.

It is vital that you learn to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse. You are in control of your reaction to the narcissist. You cannot change his/her personality structure but you are capable of stating clearly that you deserve to be treated with respect. You expect nothing less. Narcissists feel so entitled and would never believe that you would disagree with them. They are so delusional, thinking and believe that they are superior to everyone else, they know that you will cave in to their demands and threats of recrimination. Sometimes it is necessary to walk away , meaning separation and divorce from the narcissistic spouse or ending the business relationship.

Respond to the narcissist’s psychological abuse by practicing ways to remain calm, separate, mentally clear and discerning and focused in dealing with these individuals. Consistent meditation practice is a form of keeping the mind calm and strong. The practice of yoga is another way of deflecting narcissistic abuse. The discipline of these practices builds a flexible, grounded, intuitive person. You are a separate solid human being. You stand on the ground of your authenticity. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation:United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

2 thoughts on “Narcissist’s Projections are Psychologically Abusive”

  1. Setting boundaries–yes; I like that idea. Firmly, coolly telling the narcissist where your boundaries are. That’s what I try to do. It’s not for the faint of heart.

    1. Here’s to that Mya, it seems to work though, in my experience mostly with low to med risk ex prisoners and stressed 18-25 yr olds, maybe its the element of experience that was ill-proportioned in childhood or adolescence, but required by some in order to form empathetic relationships with others, clear cut boundaries with clear realistic consequences explained in real life terms with the correct action/emotion attributed, and followed through; much in the same way that an autistic child may better understand communicating and social interaction with a non-living thing -the thought patterns, instincts, conflicting body language and other variable’s are removed from their focus. The big lesson is real, relayed and repeated with other situations, places and people, a safe positive is gained or can be offered for effort towards change or betterment, which- though it sounds terrible – is the same a loved child would receive for actively paticipating in managing their frustrations, hygiene, cleanliness, fears, schedule, etc – a reward of repeated positive reaction- attention, actual status or focus on positives, and an ever increased self confidence, self control, safer self expression and acceptance springing from support; reducing the need to hide behind projection, outbursts, spite, delusions and ultimately self destructive behavior… like a slightly warped version of the basic needs triangle for people who display a tendency towards narcissism, a language they can understand…

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