Male or female spouses of narcissists are under constant stress They don’t recognize the beating their nervous systems are taking. The pressure to have a perfect image that the narcissistic spouse puts on his partner is extreme. If one hair is out of place or a few extra pounds have accumulated there will be disgust on. The face of the narcissist. Often a tirade will follow–an out of control screaming bot of long duration,pointing out all of your mistakes,character deficits and your lack of intelligence—more plainly,calling you stupid and worth. The narcissist can pivot quickly and become charming and giving as if the previous dressing down never took place. You start to relax and let down You say to yourself. “Maybe this person loves me. I must be more tolerant and giving.”
Soon the mood switches and we experience the horrid dark side of the narcissist ,raging again. As long as you are married or involved closely with a narcissist you will be in survival mode.
Many spouses reach a point of no return,recognizing that they are hurting themselves by staying with the NPD. They make a plan and sever the relationship even if it means very hard work Once they are freed up they embrace life with their own perspective. They answer to themselves and thrive using many creative gifts left in storage. They discover that there are individuals who appreciate their authenticity
Their lives are re-ignited with hope and new life visions.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.