Narcissistic mothers are one woman armies of human destruction. They
are an elite team of ninja killers of the psyches of their children. One
narcissistic mother does more psychological damage than you can
imagine. I read and hear life stories every day about those who have
survived the narcissistic battles of childhood. One of NM’s cruelest
tactics is turning one child against the other. She will assure her son
that he is the special one and then tell the older daughter that she has
been chosen. After all, she is gorgeous, bright and talented. What’s
not to worship. she pits one child against the other, starting when they
are very young. Often she does have a favorite whom she ties to herself
psychologically like an appendage. This child suffers horribly
because he or she cannot separate out from mother, often for life. In
other circumstances narcissistic mothers create day by day a budding
narcissist who is her perfect reflection. These children have special
privileges like the largest stake in her financial assets. The true
golden child learns from mom to taunt and terrorize the other children.
Between the two of them, it is a sinister game—a sadistic one.
In these families it is every child for himself. The brother or sister who
is savvy and has the opportunity, escapes as early as possible. Some
children find other adults whom they trust and help them to move, get
jobs, training, go to college, etc.
As the years go by, hatred between the siblings grows and hardens. The narcissistic
mother remains Ruler of the dissembling process. Some of her children
who are prisoners and possessions, defend her no matter what she has
done to them. They are lost souls and will never become individuals in
their own right.
I have discovered many courageous and strong human beings who have survived their narcissistic mothers. I think and feel about them with tenderness and great respect. You are victorious! To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life