On a visit to my favorite green grocer where the fruits and vegetables are locally grown, I was briefly introduced to a woman with her two and half year old son. The child was constantly asking for things and mother was giving him whatever he wanted. He was picking up vegetables and fruits and putting them on different shelves. I moved to another section of the store. Out of the corner of my eye I began to notice a cardholder spinning out of control like a whirling dervish. I noticed that cards were flying out of their spaces on to the floor which was not very clean. The young boy was having a grand time and mother was no where in sight. He had also made a complete mess of some fruits he had taken off the shelves and stomped on. The store owner came and started to pick up the cards. Some of them were soiled. Mother finally appeared. She said nothing. It was if if she had been in a trance. She didn’t apologize; she didn’t question her son; she didn’t leave in embarrassment. Afterward, I told the owner how appalling this scene had been. he said: “It happens all of the time.”
This reminded me of what is going on with children and many adults in this age of over-entitlement. Parents aren’t teaching their children any sense of limits, consideration for others, awareness and respect and good manners. This is another attitude: “I’ve got mine; the hell with you.” Another symptom is the addiction to appearances. There is a plethora of plastic surgeries not only among those who are growing older and want to look fresher and more youthful but by the very young—those in their twenties who must look perfect at all times.
There are many narcissistically inclined who look down on others who don’t own their homes, don’t wear the finest clothing, wear used clothing and drive older cars. No One—–is more important than anyone else—not a person of title, degrees, a member of royalty or the head of a church.
Beneath all of the elaborate show in these individuals are deep unconscious feelings of emptiness and restlessness. What is most unfortunate is that narcissists have no insight and they make other people’s lives miserable. .
There are many exceptions—people who are remaking their lives, who are compassionate, considerate, who are living more simply, who are going deep into themselves and becoming more open with themselves and others and above all, are developing deeper empathy for all beings. I find this very encouraging.
To learn to protect yourself form the narcissist and become informed about every facet of this personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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