The Narcissist In Your Life
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. Narcissistic Personality Clinical Expert
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I feel like I’m going crazy and that everything is my fault. I feel like I made him do what he did. I had a miscarriage and he was horrible to me the whole time. Told me why does he have to suffer just because I suffered etc. It disrupted his sleep and his day. Not even week later he accused me of forgetting his birthday, but I didn’t. I wanted to surprise him when he got home. He just assumed I forgot and told me he doesn’t want me anymore and threw me away infront of his friend and told me that I’m excluded from his birthday. Left me home alone dealing with the trauma of the miscarriage and his cruelty toward me. He told me I made him that way. I still feel it’s all my fault, because I did fight with him a lot for blaming me for his mistakes, perhaps I pushed too much :(. I can’t get him out of my head. Please help
Perhaps I’m a narcissist and don’t know it. I’m going insane and drowning in guilt
Dear Monica, your fault?? Yeah, about 3% – the other 97% is peewee’s doing. You, Monica, are human – as for peewee, who knows what that sick effer is. Take care of youself.
Can you make someone treat you like that? I still think he is a good person
el Vaya sipmaicidld te has escrito. Que no sepas lo que es core capital no quiere decir que lo sepan los empleados de una entidad financiera. Cuando quieras quedamos y te explico el entorno, la situaciÃ³n y el contexto.
Monica, the way someone treats you is more a reflection of them than of you. We all have choices and even if you were rude and offensive, his reaction to you is HIS reaction to you. He can choose to be rude and offensive or he can choose to be kind and just extract himself. Absolutely nothing that he does is because of you: first, because he is responsible for his own behavior and, second, because he doesn’t even see you as an individual. You are an extension of him and his rage is a response to how he feels about himself. He’s just taking all his pain out on you.
We’re not people to them. We are tools they use to get whatever it is they want. We’re a means to an end and only they know what “the end” is…and then not even always because “the end” changes according to their whim and to the current circumstances.
Normal people, obviously, feel like they’re going crazy living on that merry-go-round of madness.
I still feel crazy…I can’t wait to feel normal again. Then again, I don’t even know what my normal is anymore. smh
Please get some professional help. You can’t do this on your own. It’s too much. You deserve to be happy and healthy… don’t wait for it to happen. He’ll never let it.
What about children with narcissist stepmothers who treat them badly but then call the child the narcissist???
He belittled the death of your child and humiliated you in front of his friend. There is no coming back from that. If you think that he is a “good person,” you’re very sick. Get help from a therapist and get away from him -yesterday. He’s not going to change, but you can change if recognize that there is a problem.
Hi. I just came across this website in searching for info on NPD. My wife accuses me of being a narcissist and of being abusive. However for years I’ve felt as though I’m the one being controlled and emotionally abusive. I’m constantly blamed for everything wrong in our marriage and for any bad behavior that our kids display. She calls me a loser, swears at me tells me to go take myself out among other things. She tells me she’s justified in saying these things because I treat her badly by not listening and not paying attention to her nor do I give her what she needs. I feel like all I ever do is try harder to please her but it’s never enough. I’ve gone to several therapists trying to “change” and every time she tells me I’m not getting the right treatment and that I’m worse. I’m beginning to feel insane! She also hates my family and says they are manipulative and toxic and doesn’t like me talking to them. I have also dropped all of my friends because she said the same about them. She has explanations for all of it that sound reasonable when she’s giving her reasons for not wanting me to talk to them but then later on I’m always left feeling like it’s not ok. Can it be possible that I do have NPD? Am I in denial about having serious issues? Or is this how you start to feel from abuse? I feel confused 24/7.
My son’s father tried to poison our 9 year old son last year. He sent my son to school with a bottle of tainted water that was carefully mixed and poured back into the original container. My son would not have noticed the slight difference in the appearance and would have chugged it down without any clue as to what he was actually drinking. It was by shear luck that he didn’t drink it. I found it because I’ve been checking everything for years. He packed items from my house that he saved up from previous lunches my son brought home because he intended to frame me for his crime.
He was going (I’m pretty sure this was the intent) to blame me and then file an emergency custody dispute in family court in order to get custody of my son for the upcoming summer vacation.
He was also going to use this as a platform for just about everything a nasty narc can suck from this heinous act… attention, sympathy, the destruction of ME along with my rep, my cred, and my ability to care for my child….you guys know the deal.
His response and behavior since then are SO obvious , even morons would know the truth.
My son is in danger, and so am I. The police won’t do a thing. It’s been 5 months and no one has even asked him a question. The bottle has been in the ppd crime lab and is still untested. I need help!
I’ve gone to every agency and authority on earth and no one will take this seriously. The cops pretend it didn’t happen because they don’t think they can score a conviction. So, my son is at risk and his father is now aware that the police don’t care.
I tested the liquid using an in home kit. It smelled like bleach and tested very high for acid. Sounds like drain cleaner.
My son could have been killed and I might have been charged. Someone please please tell me what to do? I even went to our city’s D.A…. they treated me like a nuisance. I have the ability to expose him to the world which would destroy him professionally (he has no social life) as an attorney but I’m afraid I WILL be punished in the end…
YOu need to leave this loser
I am forever indebted to you for this inaromftion.
One of the things about narcissists is that they are empty inside. Whatever childhood trauma caused the NPD leaves them terrified of looking inward, and so they never do.
They’re also very good at spinning reality to absolve them of guilt or hedge their own bets so they never appear to lose, and this makes the victim question the nature of their reality.
The fact that you’re seeking answers here is my first indication that you’re likely not the narcissist in the relationship.
Also, the fact that your wife is accusing you of the very thing you suspect her of is typical narcissist reality bending that.
I don’t know you, and I don’t have your wife’s side, but based on what you’ve presented here I’m going with my gut reaction that you’re not the one with NPD.
If you stay he will destroy your self worth. I am not sure how old you are but you may have been raised by a narcissist and have chosen one for a husband. I did that too. But you need to open your eyes to his harm of you and you need to get away as soon as possible and don’t have kids with him. Please save yourself and your future. Seek councelling, go to therapy.
You need to divorce this woman as soon as you can. You need to provide for your kids a safe place to be, if you continue to expose yourself and your kids to this person on a daily basis you will expose them to untold psychological damage.
Be brave and leave, life is so much better without them in your life. You may need to take a restraining order against her, because she will hate the fact she will be left alone.
First of all you need to be one step ahead of him. If he will blame you, the YOU need to go to yours doctors and have a psychological check. Tell your doctor abut your fears with your husband. They will do the keck and it will be on your file, for the future, for the custody courts.
Secondly after you do above, separate from him.
Thirdly, employ a good lawyer.
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